Battle of the Network Stars

Written by :
Published on : July 2, 2017

 

Welcome to the new Battle of the Network Stars. For those who don’t know, this is a revival of the vintage series from ABC Sports dating back 1976. The show ran until 1988 and normally had two episodes a year. It was hosted by the great Howard Cosell and featured a three way battle from the stars of ABC, NBC and CBS. This was the original Dancing with the Stars.

 

And because TV won’t let anything die, this sports reality vehicle is back! This time with special guest coach and NFL great, DeMarcus Ware. Plus former UFC champ, Ronda Rousey. With Mike Green and Joe Tessitore doing the commentary. This version of the show has dropped the network teams and instead grouped the contestants by the types of roles they have played. Crews like: TV cops, TV lawyers, TV politicians, TV doctors, primetime soap stars, TV mom and dads, TV kids, and etc. Each airing of the 10 episode run will pit two crews against each other in a gauntlet of events. There are even some folks who are returning for their second round of Battle of the Network Stars. Talk about a throwback.

 

AJ MICHALKA, TRACEY GOLD, DAVE COULIER, BRONSON PINCHOT, DEMARCUS WARE, TOM ARNOLD
                                                                               Team TV Sitcoms

 

The events are just like back in the day. We still get to enjoy track, swimming, kayaking, basketball, soccer, tennis, the famous dunk tank, archery, golf, obstacle course and the the tug of war. It’s like some crazy decathlon for non-athletes. Half the fun is seeing who fails what. But then an endearing thing happens, you see one of the stars overcome in a situation you thought they had no chance in. It’s totally uplifting. And it gives you a little hope that maybe, just maybe, we can all find some inner strength someday.

 

I’m most looking forward to seeing team sci-fi which is Lou Ferrigno, Vinnie Jones, Charisma Carpenter, Kevin Sorbo and Jill Wagner. Team TV lifeguards also looks intriguing. The roster includes David Chokachi, Brande Roderick, Parker Stevenson, Nicole Eggert and Gena Lee Nolin. Rescue me. ABC is all in on this the retro game show thing. Beyond Battle, they also brought back The Gong Show while still enjoying Family FeudJeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. That’s a lot of old shit for one network. I’ve got a new idea for you ABC, how about show where celebs do my laundry. It could be called White Wash.

 

CORBIN BLEU, JOEY LAWRENCE, NOLAN GOULD, LISA WHELCHEL, KIM FIELDS, RONDA ROUSEY

 

Let’s all just be happy that there are finally some sports to watch. The dark days are over. Battle of the Network Stars is on Thursdays this summer on ABC.

 

TV time.

 

 


Track Marks: A high school Track and Field memoir

Written by :
Published on : August 25, 2016

 

 

The 2016 Olympic Summer Games in Rio de Janeiro were a blast and it got me thinking about my old glory days as a high school track star. Well, maybe star is a bit of a reach but I was on the varsity team for all four years of high school and in that time I competed in every single event of both track and field. I won medals, broke a school record and even went to the state championship but I’m not here to brag, I’m here to take a trip down memory lane and look back at a sport that used to be a big part of my life.

 

Growing up, soccer was my sport of choice. I loved it. I played indoor during the winter and went to camps in the summer, all in an effort to make varsity some day and get on the pitch with the big kids. Unfortunately, I was an average soccer player. No real natural talent but sound fundamentals and better conditioning made me effective. I knew I had to stay in shape to get any playing time so I started running track in the spring of freshman year. It should be known that the soccer coach was also the track coach, so running track was a good way to earn brownie points.

 

 

That first year, coach didn’t really know where to put me so I tried lots of different events. Our team only had one real hurdler so I started training in the 110m and the 300m hurdles until I fell enough times that it was clear that this wasn’t my thing. Next, I did the long distance events. The mile and two mile runs, but I really didn’t like those. I got bored and would lose focus. Next came the sprints. I was much too slow out of the blocks for the 100m or the 200m dashes but in the 400m, I had enough time to catch up to the quicker kids and let my endurance win me a few races. I finally found my home.

 

Now, if you don’t know, the 400m is the worst. It’s technically a sprint but it’s a full lap of the track. That’s a quarter mile. Sprint. It’s brutal. After every serious contest I had in the 400m, I would throw up. It almost always happened. My body was in such shock. I’d post a solid time then wander behind some bushes or puke on the infield. I’d aim for the end zones if the football field lines were still painted. Touchdown.

 

The 400m was my jam, but you can be in up to four events at a single track meet so I had to fill the rest of my dance card. Naturally, I also competed in the 4x400m relay. Leaving my coach two spots to throw me wherever he saw fit.

 

High-Jump rig

 

Now is as good of a time as any to explain that I went to a really small school. Class D, Division 4. It was a strange place that is somehow both half hippy art school and half college prep. It’s a non-religious, private K-12 located in the northern suburbs of Detroit. Most of the schools we played against were rich christian private schools. So there were times at track meets where the competition was very light in certain events and that’s where coach would put me.

 

This strategy found me in long jump, shot put, discus, and even high jump. I’m just glad we didn’t have pole vault or else I’m sure they would have made me try that too. But this little tricked worked. I’d place in the event and earn a few extra points to help the team win the meet. The season would end with the league meet where we square off against all the other schools in our area. This was our big race of the year. After that, the few stand out runners would continue on to regionals and maybe even states in individual events. We never had enough qualifying athletes make to make run at a state championship for the school.

 

long jump

 

I stuck with track sophomore and junior years. I got better and faster. Hit the weight room and really saw progress in all my events. We’d go to tournaments after a long bus rides and I’d come home with a few medals. I never won like that in anything else. It was pretty great feeling. End of junior year, we had a nasty 4x400m relay team that rolled into the league meet and took first by a wide margin. Our time earned us a place in regionals where we kept it rolling and qualified for the state championship.

 

The state meet is on a weekend, like most big track and field events. The reason is because it takes forever and they need to start early. I’m talking like 8-10 hours long. It was also kind of far away so our team had to drive out the night before and stay in a hotel. Like a real NBA star. Friday night we went out for steaks and Saturday morning we rolled to the meet blasting Eye of the Tiger. We warmed up. We felt good. No nerves. Our relay team had clean hand offs and we all posted our best personal times but we didn’t even place.

 

baton handoff

 

I wasn’t mad, neither were my teammates or the coach. We all ran the fastest we have ever had and performed well as a crew but we came up short of being best in the state. Hell, I never thought I’d get that far. How could we be mad? Later we found out that we broke our school’s record for the 4x400m relay which was a perfect end to that chapter.

 

My senior year, I was named captain of the team and we were all looking forward to keeping our league championship streak alive. As the season and school year came to an end, my enthusiasm for track was waning. I decided to tell my coach that after the league meet, I didn’t want to pursue the individual events at the later tournaments. They were all on weekends in far off places and I wanted to go to graduation parties and find a girl that would let me get to second base. My coach unfortunately did not understand. He told me if I wanted to quit that I should do it now. I countered and explained that the league meet was important to me because that was the team’s big day but he couldn’t hear it. He asked for my uniform and told me to leave. I guess he wanted to wear those short shorts of mine in private.

 

The next day, coach told the team that I quit. They ended up losing the league meet too. First time in six years. It was maybe an ugly breakup but I dug my time in track and field. It treated me well. I was more successful in that sport than anything else. It used to bum me out that track was the thing I was good at when I loved so many other sports more but I’ve moved on from that. Now, I’m just grateful that I went out and gave it my all with my friends by my side.

 

Spikes.

 

 


SBS Remembers: Usain Bolt breaks the World Record

Written by :
Published on : August 20, 2016

 

These days, everyone knows Usain Bolt is the world’s fastest man. Currently holds three world records (100m, 200m and 4x100m relay) and nine gold medals in track. But before the 2008 Olympic games in Beijing, the Jamaican sprinter wasn’t yet a household name. Let’s jump back in time for this chapter of SBS Remembers to hear the story of how Bolt set the globe on fire with his blazing speed. He won gold, shattered the old world record and cemented his place in history.

 

Beijing 2008. From an interview we know that Usain Bolt woke up late, ate some McDonald’s. Got a massage, took a nap, ate more McNuggets, went the arena, light warm up and destroyed the world record. Then he DJ’d the afterparty. And you may be saying “he didn’t really eat fast-food before the biggest race of his life, right?” Yup, he totally did. He loves McNuggets. Bolt estimated he was eating 100-160 nuggets a day. He did NOT mention anything about dipping sauces. If I had to guess, I’d say he sticks with classic ketchup. Or maybe that sweet ‘n sour. Either way, that’s insane.

 

 

If you watch the video, it looks like he slows down at the end because he knows he has won and starts to celebrate. It’s a ten second race and he had enough time to get a substantial lead, recognize it, and then start savoring the moment. He pounds his chest before crossing the finish line. It’s like he didn’t even try very hard and he still smoked the old world record.

 

Then broke the record for the 200 meter dash. Then won gold in the 4×100 relay. And did it all with style. Oh yeah, his shoes are made of solid gold. You’d think that weigh him down. But nah. One year later, Bolt would smash his own 100m dash time of 9.69 seconds and clock in at 9.58. The current world record. It’s pure bananas to drop a whole tenth of a second of the best time ever recorded. Maybe he really tried that time. This is why people say he is the fastest person to ever walk the planet.

 

 

Four years later in the London 2012 games, he did it again. Three more golds in the 100m, 200m and the 4x100m relay. Plus he helped break the old 4x100m relay world record he and team Jamaica previously set. He wasn’t aging, he was just getting faster.

 

In Rio 2016, Bolt took gold again in the 100m dash. Making him the first athlete to win gold in the 100m three Olympics in a row. That’s a serious feat. Sports reporters always call Bolt more of a 200m runner but we can officially put that idea to rest. He’s a sprinter. The best ever. No surprise when the 6’5″ runner used his huge strides to win the the 200m and the 4x100m relay. That’s gold in all three events he competes in, three Olympics in a row. Bolt has never lost in the medal round of a race. All his medals are gold. Like those shoes.

 

Whether Usain Bolt ever races again, his 9 gold medals in short distances make him one of the most dominate track stars we have ever witnessed. He is a total character and simply an astonishing specimen. I consider myself lucky that he raced in an era where I was watching. Future athletes make break his records but no one will do it like him.

 

Nuggets.

 

 


Olympic updates from Rio

Written by :
Published on : August 14, 2016

 

The 2016 Rio games are off and rolling. There is so much Olympic action that it is truly hard to keep up. Don’t fret, your buds here at ScoreBoredSports got your back. This is all the big news out of Rio de Janeiro. Things you may have missed and all the top stories. Here is what has happened so far.

 

Host Brazil

Opening ceremony was cool. Weird, but cool. Like if Cirque Du Soleil did a show about Paula Abdul. I mean there was lots of dancing. Then there was the parade introducing each country. The star of the show was the flag bearer from Tonga. So shiny and shirtless. Also, things have gone pretty smoothly in Brazil.. There was tons of chatter that Rio wasn’t ready but so far, so good (beyond the green water in the pool). And Zika seems to be more of a bad punchline than a real issue. In terms of medals, the host country only has a few. One gold and two bronzes in judo, plus a silver in shooting.

 

Tonga-Flag-Bearer

 

Team USA

– Swimmer Michael Phelps wins gold medal number 23. That’s 28 total medals in his career. Making him the most decorated American Olympian ever.

 

– 19 year old, Katie Ledecky continues her dominance in the pool. Racking up four gold medals (200m Free, 400m Free, 800m Free and 4x200m relay) in Rio. While scattering a few world records. She is the future of swimming.

 

– Making history was Ibtihaj Muhammad. She claimed bronze in fencing for team USA but she made history as the first American athlete to compete wearing a hijab. An overall awesome story.

 

– Simone Manuel is the first African-American to win an individual swimming medal. She took gold in super dramatic fashion. Hats off to that.

 

 

– The US women’s gymnastics straight up owns. Winning gold in the team event, plus Simone Biles and Aly Raisman took gold and silver in the overall. Look for the Americans to sweep the individual events as well.

 

– Men’s Basketball avoids the upset against Australia on the shooting of Carmelo Anthony. Then barely sneaks away from Serbia. I can’t tell if they are headed for ruin or if this rough patch is what they need to galvanize the team.

 

Rest of the World

– In women’s soccer, Sweden knocks out favorite, USA, in penalty kicks. For the reigning World Cup champs, this is the first time they have ever missed the final round. The door is now open for Sweden to run the table and capture the top prize.

 

– China is second in the overall medal count with multiple golds in weightlifting, diving, and table tennis. Plus, single golds in swimming, track and field, shooting and cycling (track).

 

 

– We have seen Great Britain excel in rowing and cycling (track) but not much else. Step it up or the queen will have your head.

 

– Japan is doing well. They have taken top hardware in judo, swimming and gymnastics. Don’t sleep on the island.

 

– Russia naturally has multiple golds in judo and fencing. Because everyone thinks of Russia when it comes to judo and fencing. En garde comrade.

 

– A big surprise for me was South Korea and their dominance in archery. Of their six golds, four are in the sport. Bullseye.

 

 

– USA made a lot of swimming headlines but let’s take a second to recognize Hungary. The nation has seven medals in swimming so far and three of their seven are gold. Very nice. Way to make a splash.

 

Current medal count HERE.

 

There is plenty I left out. But the games have been great so far. Watch some. Even if it’s not your sport, check it out. You may just fall in love with the energy and effort. Or keep being lazy and check back here and I’ll tell you what happened. Plus jokes. Your choice.

 

Champions.

 

 


100 Greatest Joe’s in the History of Sports

Written by :
Published on : October 5, 2015

 

 

In honor of ScoreBoredSports’ 100th post we bring you a list of the 100 Greatest Joe’s in all of sports, past and present. This list will cover any variation of the name Joe. So names like Jo, Joey, Joseph, Jose are all fair game. Also accepted is any compound name using Joe and a hyphen. These ain’t your average Joe’s, these men and women dominate in their fields and have influence on the game. This isn’t just about who won the most, this is about who had control of the narrative. Don’t view this as a ranking but a guest list to the coolest party in town. Without further ado, here is your top 100 Joe’s.

 

100. Joey Harrington – NFL Quarterback

99. Joe Buck – NFL Announcer

98. Jose Calderon – NBA Point Guard

97. Big Joe Fauria – NFL Tight End

96. Joakim Noah – NBA Center

The hair, the intensity, what’s not to love? And yes, Joakim counts as a Joe.

 

95. Joe Johnson – NBA Shooting Guard/Small Forward

94. Joseph Young – NBA Guard

93. Jose Valverde – MLB Pitcher

92. Ronda Jo Miller – WNBA Forward

91. Jose Iglesias – MLB Short Stop

90. Shalrie Joseph – Soccer Defensive Midfielder

89. Jose Mourinho – Soccer Coach

This little Napoleon looks and is terrifying.

 

88. Joseph Randle – NFL Running Back

87. Joe Lombardi – NFL Offensive Cordinator

86. Joe Hart – Soccer Goalie

85. José María Olazábal – Golfer

84. J. C. Tretter (Joseph Carl) – NFL Center

83. Joe Bruin – UCLA Mascot

Only Mascot to make the list. This bear has real personality.

 

82. Joe Wieland – MLB Pitcher

81. Joe DeLoach – Sprinter

80. Josephine Chukwunonye – Tennis

79. Joey Votto – MLB First Base

78. Jose Canseco – MLB Outfielder

This hunk of beef. Remember when the ball bounced off his head for a Home Run? I do.

 

77. Joe Allen – Soccer Midfielder

76. Joseph Carr – Former President of the NFL

75. Joe DeLamielleure – NFL Guard

74. Joe Morgan MLB Manager

73. Joe Guyon – NFL Halfback

72. Joe Perry – NFL Fullback

71. Joe Lynch – Boxer

70. Joe Stydahar – NFL Tackle

69. Joe Haden – NFL Cornerback

One of the best CB’s in the league. He plays in Cleveland and doesn’t suck. That’s not easy.

 

68. Joe Maur – MLB Catcher/First Base

67. Joseph Fulks – NBA Small Forward

66. Joseph Lapchick – NBA Center

65. Jo Jo White – NBA Point Guard

64. Joe Vitale – NHL Center

63. Johnathan Joseph – NFL Cornerback

62. Joe Thornton  – NHL Center

I really don’t like this guy but his beard is epic, almost wizard status.

 

61. Joe Cronin – MLB Shortstop/Manager

60. Joe Malone – NHL Center

59. Joe Hall – NHL Defensemen

58. Joe Primeau – NHL Center

57. Joe Philbin – NFL Coach

56. Joe Nieuwendyk – NHL Center

55. Joe Garagiola – MLB Catcher

54. Joe Weatherly – NASCAR Driver

53. Joe Lee Johnson – NASCAR Driver

This guy drives faster and better than you. All while wearing white pants.

 

52. Joe Kelley – MLB Left Fielder/Manager

51. Jose Reyes – MLB Shortstop

50. Joe Tinker – MLB Shortstop

49. Joe Medwick – MLB Left Fielder

48. Joe Mihalic – NASCAR Driver

47. Joe Sewell – MLB Shortstop/Third Base

46. Jose Altuve – MLB Second Base

Of the many Venezuelan studs taking over baseball. Better learn Spanish, cause he is here to stay.

 

45. Joe Williams – NFL Running Back

44. Jose Mendez – Baseball Pitcher

43. Joe Gordon – MLB Second Base

42. Joseph Brennann – ABL (basketball) Guard

41. Joe Thomas – NFL Offensive Tackle

40. Joe Gibbs – NFL Coach

He has a Super Bowl ring with the Redskins and he don’t Gibb a damn.

 

39. Joe Gomez – Soccer Defender

38. Joe Choynski – Boxer

37. Barbados Joe Walcott – Boxer

36. Jersey Joe Walcott – Boxer

35. Joe Schmidt – NFL Linebacker

34. Joe Jellybean Bryant – NBA Player/Coach

33. Joe Calzaghe – Boxer

32. Joe Jeanette – Boxer

31. Jose Bautista – MLB Right Fielder

30. Joe Flacco – NFL Quarterback

Tall dude, cannon for an arm. I think he collects stamps. Seems chill.

 

29. Joe Jackson -MLB Left Fielder

28. Joe Newton – Track Coach

27. Joe Susan – NCAA Men’s Football Coach

26. Mary Joe Fernández – Tennis

25. Jo-Wilfried Tsonga – Tennis

24. Jose Villareal – Soccer Midfielder/Striker

23. Fernando (Jose) Torres  – Soccer Striker

Just your average, down to earth, super rich, futbol star.

 

22. Jose Aldo – UFC Fighter

21. Jose Fernandez – MLB Pitcher

20. Joe Gans – Boxer

19. Jose Abreu – MLB First Base

18. Joe Gibbs – Owner Joe Gibbs racing

17. Bullet Joe Simpson – NHL Defender

16. Joe Theisman – NFL Quarterback

15. Joe McGinnity – MLB Pitcher

14. Joe Rogan – UFC Announcer

That’s right, Joe Rogan. Fear Factor, Bitch!

 

13. Joe Paterno – NCAA Men’s Football Coach

12. Joe Lopes – Skateboarder

11. Joe Dumars – NBA Guard

10. Joe Fraiser – Boxer

9. Flo-Jo – Sprinter

8. Joe Sakic – NHL Center

7. Joey Crawford – NBA Referee

How long has this guy been enforcing his will on the NBA?

 

6. Joe Torre – MLB Manager

5. Joe Namath – NFL Quarterback

4. Mean Joe Greene – NFL Defensive Tackle

3. Joe DiMaggio – MLB Center Fielder

2. Joe Louis – Boxer

1. Joe Montana – NFL Quarterback

Swipe right.

 

Honorable Mention: Trader Joes, Jose Cuervo, Joe Dirt, Bazooka Joe, Mighty Joe Young, GI Joe, Joseph and his fancy dreamcoat and our very own Joe Piel.

 

Also, I know I missed a bunch of deserving athletes. So in your nicest, indoor voice, please tell me about it in the comments. Thanks again for reading and here’s to another 100 posts! Cheers!

 

 

 


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