The Worst of the Worst: Jeff Triplette

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Published on : January 10, 2017

 

 

In this new SBS segment, we take a look at the most deplorable of figures in all of sports. From players to coaches to referees to owners, there is no shortage of awful people in the world and that extends to the sports world. We will put the spotlight on those who have done wrong and try to bring their transgressions to the forefront. We do this in hope that by knowing just how horrible they are, they might be banished and the rest of us might be less likely to feel the wrath of their ineptitude.

 

For this inaugural edition of The Worst of the Worst, we put NFL referee, Jeff Triplette, on blast!

 

The Orlando Brown incident

ORLANDO BROWN

 

In 1999, Triplette threw a flag during a Cleveland Browns game. Nothing unusual, right? Except this flag, like all of them, was weighted with ball bearings, and when he threw it, he apparently wasn’t paying much attention to its trajectory. This flag found its home in the eye of Browns’ player, Orlando Brown, who went ballistic and shoved Triplette to the ground. Brown was then suspended but wound up having the suspension lifted after his eye failed to heal. He went on to miss the next three seasons due to partial blindness in his right eye. It was surely a mistake on the part of Triplette but that doesn’t change the fact that he negatively impacted this man’s career and got the NFL sued by the player. They eventually settled with Orlando Brown out of court.

 

Illegal face to the hands

Okay so the last example showed that maybe Triplette is a little careless. While it was an unfortunate occurrence, I don’t really think that it’s a reason that he should be fired from his job. But if you watch the above video you get a glimpse into just how bad this guy sucks. The play begins with Detroit Lions’ running back, Dwayne Washington, running the ball for a 14-yard gain. In typical Lions fashion, there is a flag thrown on the play that negates the run. This time the culprit is center, Graham Glasgow, who has committed a penalty for illegal hands to the face. Except once you rewatch the play it is clear that it is the player with whom Glasgow is engaged, Eddie Goldman, that commits the penalty. Glasgow’s hands never come near Goldman’s face mask. This is probably one of the worst calls of the 2016 season, in all of the NFL. Just one of the most recent examples of the horrors of Jeff Triplette’s officiating.       

 

Words are hard

This example of Jeff Triplette’s ridiculousness also comes to us from the 2016 NFL regular season. In this incident, Aaron Rodgers runs for a touchdown against the Tennessee Titans. Upon entering the end zone, Rodgers is laid out by Titans’ defender Perrish Cox. The hit comes late enough that it draws a flag and a scrum between the two teams ensues as the rest of the Packers come to the defense of their quarterback. What follows is one of the most painful explanations of a penalty that I’ve ever seen. This guy really has no idea what is happening around him. Watch, and be amazed.

 

These are by no means the only transgressions that Jeff Triplette has committed over the course of a career that has somehow spanned 20 years. The internet is littered with videos of his infuriating calls and hilarious explanations. He has proven time and again that he has no business officiating the game at its highest levels. Go out for yourself and make your own conclusions. This guy has got to go, and I’m sure that if you look over the long list of supporting evidence you will agree that Jeff Triplette is among The Worst of the Worst.

 

 


A Case of the Mondays: Detroit Edition

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Published on : September 26, 2016

 

 

This Monday is a tough one for Detroit sports fans to swallow. The Motor City collectively limps into the week after one of the tougher Sundays in recent memory. Both the Tigers and Lions had big games, and both teams failed to come ready-to-play, leaving fans (or at least this one) wondering why they put themselves through this pain. The Tigers, in the middle of a race for the second wild card spot, played the Royals at home. The Lions, trying to rebound from a painful loss in a game that they should have won against the Titans last week, traveled to Lambeau Field to play the Packers.

 

Both team started off slow and were punched in the mouth by the opposition. Both teams got it together eventually and made a game of it, but lost in the end. It was too little, too late.

 

 The Royals celebrate the Tigers demise.

 

Neither the Lions nor Tigers deserved to win yesterday, yet they had the chance to steal the game away. That should be encouraging, but that doesn’t mean that fans should overlook the fact that these teams are flawed, and aren’t getting a lot of help from the guys that are running the show. That’s right, both of these professional sports teams located in Detroit have coaches or managers that just aren’t very good.

 

It’s already pretty well documented how I feel about Detroit Tigers’ manager, Brad Ausmus. He just hasn’t been all that good during his time with the Tigers. He inherited a team that was in the middle of years-long domination of the AL Central and has had a hand in the teams underperformance ever since. The team started this season with an awful 15-21 record, but somehow managed to hang around long enough to be competing for the second wild card spot. With yesterday’s loss, the team now sits 1.5 games back of the Baltimore Orioles for that last playoff spot. Ausmus deserves some credit for helping the team stick around this long, but also deserves the blame for not getting the most out of a roster with some serious talent.

 

 “Promise me you’ll write after they can my ass.

 

Same goes for Lions’ coach, Jim Caldwell. In his first year with the Lions, he took them to the playoffs with a 11-5 regular season record. After a brutal playoff loss at the hands of the Dallas Cowboys, he followed 2014 up with a 7-9 record in 2015. In this, his third year with the team, he is off to 1-2 start following a game that the team pissed away against Tennessee and the debacle in Green Bay yesterday. He has shown a lack of ability to get his teams motivated and the blame for the sloppy play and penalties almost certainly lies with him. If it’s not the head coach’s job to make sure his team is properly prepared then whose job is it?

 

No one really expected this Lions team to go win in Green Bay, but the fact is the Packers aren’t that good. If the Lions had come ready-to-play and didn’t have to dig themselves out of a 31-3 hole, maybe they could have done it. If the 34-27 final score is any indication of what this team is capable of, then maybe they will be alright. But not if their coach doesn’t get them to come out and play for all 4 quarters.

 

 The Packers came out strong and hung on for the win.

 

No one really expected this Tigers team to make the playoffs. When you start the season like that and then go on to have a 2-13 record against the division leading rival, Cleveland Indians, playoffs seem like a pipe dream. But the Tigers are still in the hunt. Sadly, with only 7 games to play they start a 4-game home series against the Indians today, likely spelling an end to those wild card hopes.

 

Mondays can be rough, especially with Sundays like yesterday. The Tigers season might be wrapping up in similar fashion to how it started, with a whimper. The Lions season is just starting off and has already given fans plenty of reasons to drink. Both teams have coaches that could very well be gone next year. And most fans probably wouldn’t be mad. This Case of the Mondays goes to you Detroit. Hopefully this week will be better than the last.

 

 


The Titans should crowdsource their offensive playbook

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Published on : August 16, 2016

 

 

No one has ever accused Mike Mularkey of being an offensive mastermind. He has had some success as an offensive coordinator but only when his team was stacked with All Pros. As a head coach, his efforts have been middling at best and downright awful at worst. For some reason which I cannot comprehend, the Tennessee Titans made the decision to retain him as head coach following his stint as interim coach. He got that gig after the team relieved Ken Whisenhunt of his duties in November, 2015 and he’s one of the few interim head coaches that is getting the chance to continue on the job. But maybe the Titans would be better off letting the fans call the plays?

 

You may have heard about the Tennessee Titans first preseason game and how the team raised $20k for charity by auctioning off the right to call the first two offensive plays. It’s a pretty great idea and the fact that they were able to get $10k per play is great for the Make-a-Wish Foundation, the recipient of that charitable endeavor. While it may be a gimmick, I think the team may be on to something here. We’ve all been guilty of yelling at the television hoping the coach would hear you and realize that he doesn’t know shit and you should be running the team (I’m look at you, Jim Caldwell). Well, for the first time in history, this may have been true.

 

 

The first play called by one generous fan, was a pitch to the left in which DeMarco Murray went for 15 yards. A pretty solid first play of the game indeed. The second was a play-action pass that saw Marcus Mariota send the ball 31 yards for a completion to rookie Tajae Sharpe. That’s a combined 46 yards to open the game. To put that into perspective, the next three plays called by the coaching staff went for a combined 4 yards. And the next eight plays called by the staff combined for only 21 yards. Sure, they scored a touchdown on their third drive off of a 71 yard run (also to the left side) by DeMarco Murray, but that was a combination of the Chargers defense looking like shit on that play and DeMarco’s skills in the open field.

 

 

If the team wants to succeed, it’s pretty clear what they have to do. They need to crowdsource their entire offensive playbook. The team could set up an online poll for their fans to use during games and they can vote on what will be the next play call. The internet makes all of this possible. If American Idol can do it then the NFL sure can. It would be like if the Borg were playing Madden, but real life!

 

It’s pretty genius if you think about it. If it works out then the team succeeds and will endear themselves to the fans in a way like never before. It will give Titans fans a chance to be fully emersed in their team’s season in a way no other fans can. Also, Mularkey gets to piggyback on the success of the new hive mind offensive coordinator and almost certainly gets to keep the job that he doesn’t really deserve in the first place. This is a win-win for the players, coaches, fans and organization as a whole.

 

 “Do you really think the fans are smarter that us?” “Yes, yes I do.”

 

If it doesn’t work out then no big deal. Mike Mularkey can blame the failed experiment and probably gets another chance to make things right. I don’t really see why he wouldn’t do this. The fans as offensive coordinator can’t make the team any worse than it’s been for the last few seasons. The Titans went 3-13 and 2-14 over the last two years. Come on Tennessee, make the right coaching choice and promote your fans to be the new hive mind offensive coordinator. What you’re currently working with isn’t very good. Build off of those first two plays of the 2016 preseason and for the love of Christ, win some damn football games!

 

 


Detroit Lions 2016 Win/Loss Predictions

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Published on : June 20, 2016

 

 

Last season was a disappointing one for the Detroit Lions. The team came out of the gates firing on all cylinders in the first half of their week 1 matchup against the Chargers, and then promptly fell flat on their faces. They started off 1-7, but managed to finish 7-9 by overhauling their offense midseason. They could have easily had two more wins and possibly made the playoffs, but last second insanity against the Seahawks and Packers killed those hopes.

 

This season the team is looking to build off of the second half of last year and keep improving. A full offseason in Jim Bob Cooter’s offense, improvements along the offensive line, and the return of DeAndre Levy should have the Lions looking better than many people in the national media are giving them credit for. Here is my 2016 Win/Loss Predictions for the Detroit Lions.

 

Week 1 @ Colts

The Colts were pretty awful last year, especially on defense. In my opinion, they didn’t really do enough to fix that. They do still have Andrew Luck, but they also have an aged Frank Gore slated to start in the backfield. Luck keeps the game interesting but I think the Lions have an advantage in defense, which gives them the edge. The Colts offense will have a good day, but the Lions will get just enough stops to come out on top. The Colts defense on the other hand will have huge problems containing the Lions offense. Lions win, 37-31.

 

Week 2 vs Titans

There are some folks out there who are pretty high on the Titans. They have some nice pieces on offense but with Mike Mularkey as head coach this team is going nowhere. They will fold under the pressure of that home opener Ford Field crowd. The defense will come up big and DeAndre Levy will have a pick 6. Lions win, 45-28.

 

 Look out for Levy in this one.

 

Week 3 @ Packers

The Lions are lucky to once again get to travel to Green Bay before winter has had a chance to wrap its freezing cold hands around the neck of that godforsaken wasteland of cheese. While that definitely helps their chances, I’m not sure the team will get as lucky this year as they did last year. It will be a hard fought battle, but I think Green Bay gets this in a close one. Lions lose, 27-24.

 

Week 4 @ Bears

Big thanks to the NFL for sending my favorite team to play their two biggest rivals consecutively on the road. The Bears are much improved, but luckily the Lions have their number in the last handful of years. The streak continues. Lions win, 17-16.

 

Week 5 vs Eagles

The Lions obliterated the Philadelphia Eagles last year on Thanksgiving. By that time of year, Detroit was starting to put it together on offense, and the Eagles meltdown was in full effect. Philly will still be recovering from what Chip Kelly has done to them. Lions win, 21-6.

 

Week 6 vs Rams

I’m not sure what the Rams plan on doing at quarterback just yet, but they could present some problems for the Lions. Todd Gurley and Aaron Donald are beasts and could very well both be in the running for OPOY and DPOY. I think they give the Lions enough trouble to hand them their second loss of the year. Lions lose, 24-17.

 

Week 7 vs Washington

I know Washington was a playoff team, and have some good pieces all over the field. But I find it hard to believe that Jay Gruden and Kirk Cousins are going to have sustained success. The Lions will be sharp after getting worked extra hard in practice following their loss at home to the Rams. They come out on fire and win handily. Lions win, 28-10.

 

 Look for a win against Washington.

 

Week 8 @ Texans

The Texans always have a scary defense with JJ Watt out there. They will be the big difference here and will give the Lions trouble all game. The Lions offensive line will be much improved but there aren’t many answers for JJ Watt, who will have 2 sacks. Lions lose, 24-14.

 

Week 9 @ Vikings

The Vikings are definitely the darlings of the division this season. Most people seem to think that they will challenge the Packers for the NFC North title. I think they are pretty good too, and they are definitely going to be a tough test for the Detroit Lions in Minnesota for this matchup. Lions lose, 28-27.

 

Week 10 BYE

 

Week 11 vs Jaguars

The Jaguars should be pretty solid this year, but on the road in Detroit, a win won’t be likely. Ameer Abdullah goes off in this one for 120 yds rushing and 2 TDs, while adding 60 yds receiving. Blake Bortles will also throw interceptions to both DeAndre Levy and Glover Quin. Lions win, 34-13.

 

 Look for Ameer Abdullah in the end zone in this one

 

Week 12 vs Vikings

Watching the Lions on Thanksgiving is a long tradition. I’ve seen many Turkey Day loses through the years, but as of late they have really shown up. I’ll be damned if I call them to lose this year, even if it is against the infallible Vikings. Lions win, 14-12.

 

Week 13 @ Saints

The Saints had an AWFUL defense last year, and Drew Brees started showing signs that he might be past his prime. I’m flying across the country to go to this game so my boys better show up, and get some vengeance for that 2011 playoff loss! Lions win,  21-9.

 

Week 14 vs Bears

Lions rule, Bears drool. Jay Cutler throws three interceptions. The streak continues for another year. Suck it, Chicago. Lions win, 45-6.

 

Week 15 @ Giants

The Giants are the first of two consecutive road games against the NFC East, a division that was truly awful last season. In typical Lions bad luck fashion, I believe the NFC East will be much improved in 2016. The Giants threw around some serious money in free agency and I think that by this time it will start to pay dividends, especially on the defensive side of the ball. Coming off of a big win over the hated Chicago Bears, I think the team is in for a big letdown. The offense has trouble and Eli Manning frustrates the defense all day. Lion lose, 31-17.

 

 Eli will rule the day in week 15

 

Week 16 @ Cowboys

The Detroit Lions return to the “House that Jerry Built” for the first time since getting worked over by the refs in the 2014 Wild Card game. The team is going to come out hot and I see early touchdowns from Marvin Jones and Eric Ebron. Then things will slow down as the Cowboys adjust. In the second half things will get a little hairy for Detroit and the ‘Boys will take the lead. Dez Bryant catches a late touchdown. Lion lose, 28-24.

 

Week 17 vs Green Bay

This will be a game that decides whether or not Detroit heads to the playoffs as a wild card team. Teryl Austin is going to have the Lions defense totally fired up and I envision Ezekiel Ansah having a monster game. Ziggy will get to the quarterback three times, including a late one that seals the game for Detroit on 4th down. Lions win, 17-14.

 

The Lions will be the #6 seed in the NFC at 10-6.

 

 

This is my prediction for the Detroit Lions. It’s quite a bit more positive than most of the win/loss predictions I’ve seen for the team, but I think it’s totally realistic. Most people seem to underestimate the amount of talent on the team. This is a solid squad that has improved both lines and should be able to control the trenches. Playoffs here we come!

 

 


What are the Eagles doing?

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Published on : April 21, 2016

 

Normally this is a relatively quiet time of year for the NFL. We are a week away from the 2016 NFL Draft, and usually the biggest news around the league is about teams beginning their offseason training programs. But not this year. GMs around the league have determined to make 2016 an exciting one for the NFL, even when there aren’t any games being played.

 

The Rams got the party started last week when they traded up to get the number-one pick in the 2016 NFL Draft from the Tennessee Titans. In addition to the top pick, the Rams got a fourth-round pick and a sixth-round pick but it didn’t come cheap. In return, the Titans got the Rams’ 15th overall pick, two second-round picks and a third round pick this year. The Rams also gave up a first-round and third-round pick in next year’s draft. That’s a lot of stuff to give up in order to move up and get a quarterback who isn’t a consensus stud, whoever it might be. But I get it. It’s their first year in Los Angeles and they’re looking to make a splash. Add in the fact that Jeff Fischer is just about the most uninspiring coach in the league and is on his way out if they don’t win more than seven games this year, and it’s easy to see why the Rams are so desperate for a QB not named Case Keenum or Nick Foles.

 

But what excuse do the Eagles have for making such a ridiculous trade yesterday? If you ask me they don’t have one. This seems like a really bad trade all around. The Eagles moved up to 2nd overall pick in the draft by giving the Browns their 8th overall pick in the first-round, a third-round pick and a fourth-round pick in this year’s draft, a first-round pick next year and a second-round pick in 2018. The Browns also sent the Eagles a fourth-round pick for next year. That is an enormous amount to give up for one of two quarterbacks who they are so indifferent about that they don’t really care which of the two falls to them. Oh yea, they also just gave Sam Bradford a two-year, $35 million dollar contract this offseason, and a three-year, $21 million dollar contract to Chase Daniel! How does that make any sense?

 

 The face of a genius.

 

The Eagles roster has been ravaged by three years under the mad scientist, Chip Kelly. His great experiment involved shipping off all of the Philadelphia Eagles’ most talented players and leaving the team with holes all over the field. Sounds like a fun game right? Not if you’re an Eagles fan. I suspect that Chip Kelly has always been a secret Giants’ fan and his entire strategy was to ruin the team. If that’s true then his mission was very successfully accomplished. It was on his watch that the Eagles lost, in one way or another, DeSean Jackson, Jeremy Maclin and LeSean McCoy. Most coaches would kill to have those kind of players scoring touchdowns for them, but not Kelly. And that’s why he is gone, off to San Francisco where the talent pool can’t possibly get any worse under him.

 

So with holes all over the field, the Eagles decided to give up a stable of picks to move up six spots and draft someone who might, one day, maybe be a decent quarterback in the NFL. Smooth move. What the team should be doing is using all of those draft picks to build their franchise the right way and fill as many holes as they can this year. Add to that the fact that Sam Bradford is now reportedly super pissed about being lied to by management and this whole thing looks like it’s going to get a little messy over the next season or so. Good thing my Lions get to play them this year!

 

 


Keep Hope Alive: What the NFL’s Worst Teams Have to Feel Good About in 2016

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Published on : February 25, 2016

 

 

For many people, right now is as good as it get’s when it comes to football. In places like Cleveland, Detroit and Jacksonville, the offseason is time that is full of hope and possibilities. Last season’s pessimism is out and next season’s optimism is in. With the new league year and the start of free agency just weeks away, we thought we would talk about what some of the NFL’s worst teams in 2015 have to look forward to this year, besides the opportunity to blow it with their high draft picks.

 

Tennessee Titans: Marcus Mariota’s continued progression

 
I’m not going to lie. The outlook is pretty grim in Tennessee. They retained their interim head coach Mike Mularkey for the same position, and he didn’t exactly improve the team when he took over last year. They do still have last year’s number two overall pick playing quarterback, though. Marcus Mariota should continue to improve in spite of the lack of a coaching staff, and for that reason they should keep hope alive.

 

Cleveland BrownsThe New Regime

 

I know we’ve all heard this before, but it seems like the Cleveland Browns might finally be getting their heads out of their asses. The new director of football operations, Sashi Brown, went out and got the Hue Jackson, the former offensive coordinator in Cincinnati. Jackson was the guy pulling the strings behind the scenes of the league’s seventh-best scoring offense in 2015. It also looks like he will soon be putting an end to the Johnny Manziel fiasco, and for that we should all be thankful.

 

San Diego Chargers: Return of the injured

 

The Chargers got hit very hard by the injury bug last season. It was kind of ridiculous. Luckily, time heals all wounds and with an offseason to mend up, the San Diego Chargers can’t possibly do as bad as they did last year. The team placed a total of 17 players on injured-reserve last season, which directly led to their 4-12 finish. Many of those players will be back this year and that should lead to more wins.

 

Dallas Cowboys: Dez Bryant

 

He’s a little bit of a head case, but Dez Bryant is by far the best thing the Cowboys have going for them. He is a physical freak who can make plays all over the field. He was limited by injuries in 2015, but then again so was everyone else on the team. Look for him and a healthy Tony Romo to get back to their old play-making ways in 2016.

 

San Francisco 49ers: Chip Kelly’s antics

 
There’s a chance that Chip Kelly is able to come in and fix Colin Kaepernick, but I wouldn’t get too optimistic about that. The 49ers are lacking in quality talent all over the field and it will probably take a couple of years to right the ship. On the bright side, we get at least one more year of watching Chip Kelly roast the NFL media!

 
 
All of these teams had five wins or less last season. Most probably won’t improve enough to make a playoff run but with a little luck they could pass as watchable football teams. Be sure to keep and eye on them, if for no other reason than those I listed above.

 
 
 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 17

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Published on : January 2, 2016

 

 

Well folks, it’s been an incredible year making picks for the all the SBS staff. We’re a bunch of smart motherfuckers. Though there was a heated competition and I am currently a distant second, I will make my boldest prediction yet: I will become the ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks Champion. In fact, here is an excerpt of my acceptance speech:

 

 

But the real point here is more exposé than anything. What the hell got into SBS Editor and possible PED user Bruno? Here we are in a two-man race between myself and Ryan, comfortable on our laurels, when all of a sudden this dude Bruno gets the Shining and mounts a ridiculous comeback. In the last five weeks he’s been among the top two in picks, including blowing us all (out of the water) this past week. Sick of it. Someone needs to dig up the dirt.

 

Moving on, the trickiest game on the slate this week for me to pick was the Cardinals – Seahawks matchup, mainly because they’re both damn good.  The game is in Arizona, but there’s very little at stake for the Cards, already having won the NFC west, while Seattle and Russell Wilson were straight up Megachurching everyone in their path before that unfortunate Rams loss (yes, when it applies to Russell Wilson on the football field, I believe “Megachurch” can be used as a verb). That loss makes this game critical for the Seabirds, not so much for the Sandbirds, so I went with Seattle.

 

That about does it for the ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks for this year.  Thanks so much to the readers, we sincerely hope that you made money gambling illegally, using our tried-and-true methods of nonsense.  Here’s to a great end of the NFL season, playoffs, Super Bowl, and hopefully a Roger Goodell Satan-worshipping scandal in the off-season.

 

My New Year’s resolution for 2016:

 

 

Week 17

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Week 12

Week 13

Week 14

Week 15

Week 16

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 15

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Published on : December 17, 2015

 

Here we sit on the precipice of week 15. The ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks are almost done for the season and what a fun ride it has been. At least for Ryan and Antoine, who are the only ones who have had a legit shot at the title since the beginning of the year. With 3 weeks of picks left, it’s not likely that Ryan is going to be unseated from the top spot. I suppose he could have a couple of bad weeks and I could miraculously catch up, but this guy just seems to know how to pick winners. He’s a madman who can’t be stopped, and he should probably start gambling on sports.

 

But we can talk about Ryan’s future gambling addiction some other time, right now let’s look at this exciting slate of games. Actually the only game that really looks exciting to me is Panthers at Giants. Mostly because these last fews Panthers games are going to be really suspenseful as they try to go undefeated, but also because it seems like the Giants are finally starting to put it together. Some of that bad luck has turned into late season good luck with that win over the Dolphins last week and they sit in a 3-way tie for the top spot in the abysmal NFC East.

 

There’s also a bunch of garbage matchups, either between good teams who will crush their bad opponents ( Titans @ Patriots, Browns @ Seahawks), or between two bad teams ( Dolphins @ Chargers, Lions @ Saints.) Either way, those will all be hard games to watch, but we’ll watch ’em anyways, because it’s football. And we love football!

 

On to the picks…..

Week 15

 

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Week 12

Week 13

Week 14

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 14

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Published on : December 10, 2015

 

Hi, I’m Sandy, but no, I’m not a female. However, I am the staff writer that follows the NFL the least avidly despite working at NFL Red Zone last season (HINT: there’s a reason they wouldn’t have me back this year….).

 

So, it’s Week 14 and I couldn’t be happier that it’s almost the postseason for a litany of reasons. What makes me the happiest about entering the third trimester of the 2015-16 NFL season’s pregnancy is that SportsCenter will soon reach that sweet spot of the year in February where they’re basically only showing NBA highlights, and in my world NBA reigns supreme. The next best reason to be happy the regular season is almost over: Super Bowl parties. I do kind of love football, but my favorite part of football is easily the eating that goes along with it. Plus, playoff games are way better in general, but also because my team, the Detroit Lions, won’t be able to break my heart and open my mind to the possibility of NFL conspiracy theories against The D. Their season will simply be over. Football in the snow is cool too.

 

Granted I’m the least knowledgable writer for SBS regarding football, I’ve done pretty well predicting winners this season. As for this week, I predict the NFL to beat the film Concussion on account of Will Smith trying out a weird accent. When Will Smith is kicking ass in action movies, we all win. The Lions might lose the rest of their games, or least the ones they should win, but the NFL will always be undefeated against concussions, but will the Panthers?

Here are the ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks for Week 14:

 

Week 14

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Week 12

Week 13

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 12

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Published on : November 25, 2015

 

Thursday is Thanksgiving, the holiday that football owns the same way that Bill Murray owns Groundhog Day. It’s inescapable. If you’re not watching it on TV or playing it in the front yard, then you’re probably hiding in the kitchen filling up on hors d’oeuvres and making small talk with your boring cousin. Good luck with that. I’ll see you at halftime.

 

Meanwhile, these ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks remains a tight race. Ryan and Antoine still lead the pack. I find myself squarely in the middle —  ten points away from both highest and lowest record. Oh, and Alex and Mike both have the same stats (95-65). Not bad? Not good enough. All it takes it one good/bad week to change everything.

 

I’m not much for trash talk, so I’m going the opposite route this week — passive aggressive kindness. Enjoy your Thanksgiving, SBS staffers, and good luck with this week’s picks. Don’t choke.

 

Week 12

 

 

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 11

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Published on : November 19, 2015

 

Hello out there everyone,

It’s been since week 1 that I’ve written the intro to these ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks, and what a rollercoaster of a ride it has been. I spent the first few weeks in the basement of the standings but since then, I’ve really turned things around. I’ve had a 1st or 2nd place record for the past 4 weeks and I’m clawing my way back to relevance. Sure, I’m still 11 correct picks behind Antoine and Ryan but if they have just a couple more stinkers like last week then I’ll be right in the thick of it. I think I can, I think I can…

 

There are a few interesting trends in the way the SBS Staff picked this week’s slate of games. For instance, the Jaguars are the consensus winner over the Titans, as if the Jags are some sort of standard of excellence nowadays (or maybe the Titans are just THAT bad). Also, the Lions seems to have restored faith amongst quite a few of us here and as a lifelong Lions fan, that is the perfect time for them to let everyone down. Besides that, everyone is picking the Patriots and Panthers to win their respective games and remain the last two undefeated teams. How great would it be for both of them to lose? Anyways let’s get to the picks.

 

Week 11

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

 

 

 

 

 


Roger Pretzel’s Review ‘n Brew: Week 9

Written by :
Published on : November 14, 2015

 

 

 

In this little corner Roger Pretzel will review his favorite play of the week along with a thoughtful review of what beverage he was imbibing at the time.

 

 

Week 9: Mariota Lobs to Fasano for the O.T. Win in New Orleans

 

VIDEO: HERE

 

I’m pleased that big-ticket rookie quarterbacks Marcus Mariota and Jameis Winston have had exciting first year seasons dotted with as many downs and ups as one might want. I’m a defense minded guy, and there were a ton of great sacks and picks I wanted to select for this week, but sometimes you gotta go for the real-deal highlight. Regardless if it was executed as planned, this one is still a pretty gutsy play call. Granted, the Titans were first and 10 with a field goal given, but you don’t want to give it back to Drew in OT. Mariota bootlegs and even though he throws against his body, the Saints were sold on defending the right side of the field. A real sweet win for the new guy in Tennessee.

 

Week 9: Human Blood

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By day I watch football in the confines of my private sports lair. Thick black drapes block out all light from that hateful star helios, as I sip forbidden nectar from my ornately carved pewter goblet. Night falls splendidly, and I emerge to refill my glass. Know this: I am always hungry, never satiated. I glide over to my personal sidebar only to find my cut-crystal decanter empty. How horrid. How thrilling. I must hunt tonight! I don my black velvet waistcoat. It fits tightly at the waist and broadly at the shoulders just as I like it. It looks especially dashing with my favorite cravat, black navy pants, and shiny leather boots. Finally, I brush out my long platinum hair and apply a touch of rouge to my pallid cheeks. How I wish I could see myself in the mirror before leaving…

 

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At the discotheque, I slide silently amongst the reveling throngs of man-cattle. “How beautiful they are before the slaughter,” I think to myself with a wicked giggle. My heightened senses can feel the amplified pumping of dozens of aortas and the resulting flow of life-wine in time to the music. It kind of gives me a boner, and this DJ is really good tonight.

 

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I request a table and quickly entice some company. They are adequately attractive mortals. One is male, the other female. I order the most expensive bottle of champagne on the menu and do an amazing job of pretending to be interested in the inanities my newfound sheep. My glassy, translucent skin is starting to itch. It’s time to end the formalities.

 

Me: “Would you two like to come back to my place? I have a terribly expensive wine collection that I unfortunately never get around to drinking.” Of course, they agree.

 

We Uber it back to my place. I open a bottle of wine but am too antsy to keep the charade up for much longer. As they drink I start to talk about my heroes: Dick Butkus, Barry Sanders, Joe Montana, Dracula…

 

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I strike quickly before the charade can get any more awkward. As I drain the life-essence of my guests, I laugh at the terror in their bovine eyes. Shortly before the male finally succumbs, he sees my collection of Detroit Lions hats mounted on the wall of my sports lair. My eyes meet his in shame.

 

Dying Male: “You’re a Detroit Lions fan? Good luck, jerk.”

 

He dies and I drink his blood in cold sorrow. I howl at the moon, shamed.

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 8

Written by :
Published on : October 28, 2015

 

I may be the only football illiterate person on the staff. My wisdom for the weekly NFL Staff Picks is based on which place I’d rather live in, and random tidbits I pick up by listening to announcers.

 

Recently, I heard football spectators commenting on the Seahawks. They argued that they are not offensively ready to go on a winning streak following the royal beating they gave to the 49ers last week. My pick for the Seahawks was justified by Pete Carroll’s trajectory in USC football’s glory years. Trojans stick by each other, which is why I was rooting for him, not the team.

 

Anyway, I was struck by a comment in an email from Alex; “football is stupid.” While making my choices for the week 8 picks, certain thoughts came to mind: I barely watch NFL games, but my picks are doing alright; average at worst and better than I expected. Considering my success in making picks for the first time ever, I’ll wait to till the end of the season to confirm or deny if football is stupid.

 

 

Week 8

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

 

 


SBS NFL Picks Against the Spread: Week 7

Written by :
Published on : October 21, 2015

 

This things has gone totally off the rails. My NFL Picks Against the Spread got absolutely destroyed last week and I put up an embarrassing record of 4-9-1. There’s not a whole lot I have to say for myself and I’m going to need a stellar week if I’m to have any hope of getting even here. I’ve been just better than a coin flip up until now, but there’s not really any excuse for what happened. I had a bad week. Simple as that. But like any degenerate gambler, I know I can get it together this week! I can’t lose, so let’s take the plunge!

 

Winning picks in italics

 

Seahawks (-6) at 49ers: 49ers

Seahawks haven’t looked good enough to convince me that they win by more than a field goal. 49ers have looked pretty decent at home though so that’s my pick.

 

Bills (-5.5) at Jaguars (in London): Bills

This isn’t truly a road game for the Bills since it is being played in London and I don’t think the Jaguars are very good right now. I want to believe they can start to put it together but I think the Bills will just be too much to handle.

 

Browns at Rams (-5.5): Browns

I think the Rams will probably eek this out at home but the Browns have been pretty competitive of late. Look for this one to go the Rams’ way late but probably by a field goal or less.

 

Chiefs at Steelers (-2): Steelers

The Chiefs just haven’t been any good this season and their offense is in serious trouble without Jamaal Charles on the field. The Steelers beat a quality opponent last week in the Cardinals, despite having to roll with Landry Jones at QB after Mike Vick (who hasn’t exactly been stellar) got hurt. Le’Veon Bell and the Steelers receivers will be covering the spread, no matter who is at QB.

 

Texans at Dolphins (-4.5): Texans

Arian Foster looks to be getting back into game shape, and that makes all the difference for this Texans team. Between him and DeAndre Hopkins, who is tearing it up right now, this team could actually make a run to win the very bad AFC South. On the backs of those two, the Texans will beat the Dolphins.

 

Jets at Patriots (-9): Patriots

Last week my rule of taking the Patriots and Packers, no matter what the spread is, backfired on me. This one could be just as dangerous because the Jets have looked pretty strong, but isn’t this the perfect time for the Jets to trip over themselves? I see them going into Foxborough and getting a thorough beating at the hand of (arguably) the best team in the league.

 

Vikings (-2.5) at Lions: Lions

This one is also dangerous but as a rule, I don’t really like to pick the road team in a division game. The Lions are still pretty bad when you consider that it took overtime for them to beat the piss-poor Bears. I’m thinking they get Ngata back this week and take a little revenge for their mistake filled loss to the Vikings in week 2.

 

Falcons (-4) at Titans: Falcons

The Falcons lost their bid for an undefeated season last week in New Orleans but they are going to get back on track this week in Tennessee. Devonta Freeman is going to run all over the Titans and you can bet that Julio Jones will get in on the action too.

 

Buccaneers at Redskins (-3.5): Redskins

The Buccaneers running game might give them a chance in this one but I just don’t see Jameis Winston being successful in this road matchup. He has played mistake-prone football all year and I think the pressure of heading up north to play the ‘Skins will be too much. A few too many interceptions means that Washington covers the spread.

 

Saints at Colts (-5): Colts

Andrew Luck looked better this past week but he was still uncharacteristically inaccurate at times. One has to wonder if that injury is still bothering him but another week might help with that. If the Colts don’t get it together real soon, and cut out the bullshit trick plays, then they will be looking for a new head coach very soon. Pagano should just go out and coach his team to a win against a lesser opponent.

 

Raiders at Chargers (-4): Chargers

I’m almost tempted to pick the Raiders in this situation, but I’m not going to…. Remember that whole thing about division games on the road? Yeah, that applies here too. Phillip Rivers and Keenan Allen will win this one if they can avoid the ageless wonder, Charles Woodson.

 

Cowboys at Giants (-3.5): Giants

The Cowboys are playing a division game on the road. And they’re starting Matt Cassel at quarterback! They might as well just fast forward to next week. I don’t care that the Giants just got blown out by the Eagles, they will cover here.

 

Eagles at Panthers (-2.5): Panthers

The Panthers, and especially Cam Newton, are looking very good right about now. They will get the Eagles at home and are bound to capitalize on some Sam Bradford mistakes and keep the unbeaten streak going for one more week.

 

Ravens at Cardinals (-7.5): Cardinals

The Ravens are really bad and I’m regretting not including them in the NFL Graveyard article that I released last week. The Cardinals slipped up recently but will get back on track at home. Look for them to put up a ton of points and cover the spread.

 

 

Bears, Bengals, Broncos and Packers: Bye week.

 


 

 

Last week’s record: 4-9-1

 

Season record: 42-46-3

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 6

Written by :
Published on : October 14, 2015

 

Thanks for reading ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 6. So, one thing they don’t tell you when you begin the process of turning into a fifty-foot tall giant made of diamond, is how strongly such a transformation can affect those around you. For example, did you know that people sometimes resent perfect geniuses like myself who make incredibly insightful NFL picks each week? To quote SBS Co-Founder and bearded maniac, Bruno Tysh: “Why has God cursed me with such strength?”

 

This week, the SBS staff didn’t have our best showing, but we were still strong in making heady picks. Mike tied for the lead with that Bruno dude, and yours truly.  As unquestionable as my brilliant method is, the truth behind the veil is perhaps more deceptive than one might think.  Simply stated: my main strategy is to avoid feeling stupid after making a pick.  The best example of this I can think of came a few weeks ago, when the Texans played the Bucs. My logic in picking Houston? Boy, would I have felt like an idiot picking a rookie quarterback, who’s historically struggled against pressure, on the road, against the mythological creature known as J.J. Watt.  It doesn’t take a genius to make that pick, but it doesn’t hurt that I am one.

 

Week 6

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