Tom Brady’s Stolen Jersey Found

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Published on : April 11, 2017

 

The smoke has finally cleared on one of the most bizarre cases in NFL history. First, Tom Brady’s Super Bowl jersey went missing. There was tons of speculation of where the uni could be. No one wanted to say it was stolen. But that was in fact the case. After weeks of drama pulled straight out of some forgotten Hollywood screenplay, the missing jersey was suddenly found. But that’s where this story gets really interesting.

 

The jersey was lost. Zero chance of recovery. You would need divine help to find it. Well, ask for a miracle, I give you the F-B-I. The Bureau tracked the missing memorabilia down to Mexico. That’s right, this caper has just gone international. But the real twist is that the stolen jersey was discovered along with his “missing” jersey from Super Bowl 49 and Von Miller’s helmet from Super Bowl 50. What a stash of insane football gear. That’s legit super villain status.

 

How did that happen? To explain, first let’s back up right to the end of Super Bowl 51. The Pats win, Tom takes off the jersey and it gets put it in his bag in his locker. Team celebrates on the field. Later, the locker room is opened to the media. And as mentioned before, no security cameras in that area. Tom comes back to his locker and checks his bag to find nothing.

 

 

So, who done it? The man in question is Mauricio Ortega. An editor for a Mexican newspaper. This wasn’t some fresh face either. This was a vet journalist from a big publication who had years of experience. Ortega had press credentials so he was allowed access to the player areas. Footage of the hallway outside the locker room shows him entering then exiting with something new tucked under his arm. Nice detective work whoever figured that out.

 

Speaking of figuring it out, it seems like Jay Glazer and the FOX team covering the big game had a critical role in cracking the case. They worked with the FBI and used their footage to help identify Ortega. Finally, all those annoying reporters and cameras do something useful. In all seriousness, Glazer broke many keys facts about this story and we would know much less without his team’s efforts. Here is the breakdown plus the camera footage showing Ortega going in and out of the locker room.

 

 

To make things even more juicy, Ortega quit his job just weeks before the jersey was found. All the recovered merch is being authenticated before any legal action is taken. The stolen goods have tremendous value but only to a buyer who wishes to keep them secret. That makes me think Ortega was not the collector, but the thief working for the collector.

 

In the Glazer video, he mentions that Von Miller had his helmet and cleats go missing after SB 50. Only the helmet was recovered. So maybe the cleats made their way to the collector? Or they are still hidden, waiting for Ortega or an associate. Either way, this whole tale is wild. I hope more wrinkles keep appearing and we uncover some evil sports merchandise syndicate. At some point, Ortega may be put on trial and then we may learn the truth of his motivations. Until then, you only have my terrible movie-inspired speculations.

 

Heist.

 

 


Ocean’s 51: Tom Brady and the Super Bowl Jersey Heist

Written by :
Published on : February 10, 2017

 

 

The first reports after the big game were that superstar quarterback, Tom Brady, was missing the jersey he wore during his record setting fifth Super Bowl win. The story goes that after the Patriots’ insane comeback overtime win, Tom went to the locker room with the team. The guys changed out of their uniforms and donned their new champs t-shirts then returned to the field for the trophy ceremony. Brady claims that he left the prized jersey in his bag, at his locker. Later, Tom came back and could not find his number 12 uni.

 

Now, there are no security cameras in the locker rooms and the list of people with access to that area is decently long. Including, all 52 members of the roster, all the coaches, trainers and equipment personnel. Plus all the reporters and security once the locker room is open to the media. So we have lots of potential suspects.

 

 

Host city Houston stepped up and called in the Texas Rangers (not Chuck Norris, idiots) to help track down the jersey. Which some are already calling the greatest piece of sports memorabilia ever. With a theoretical price tag anywhere from $100,000-$500,000. But it’s not like you can just sell that thing anywhere. Brady joked in a Monday presser that if anyone sees it on eBay, let him know. That’s funny but not realistic. A sale like that will almost certainly land the seller in prison. That makes me think the thief had to have a high level buyer already in place. Hell, maybe they were even commissioned to steal the thing.

 

As the stolen jersey story spread, more news filtered in. Another report claims that much of the locker room gear was packed up and put on a truck bound for the Pats home facility. The truck was not throughly searched before it left the stadium leaving hope that the jersey is maybe in a box somewhere. Seems unlikely the most rare of rare sports gems is just laying around. Especially when you consider that something like this happened after New England’s Super Bowl win over Seattle two years ago. Yup, Brady’s jersey went “missing” then too. Looks like someone is starting a collection and I think I know the crew that might have pulled off the sports heist of the century.

 

"Ocean's Eleven" Cast Bernie Mac,Casey Affleck,Li Dian Feng,Scott Caan,George Clooney,Brad Pitt,Matt Damon,Elliott Gould,Don Cheadle,Edward Jemison,Carl Reiner © 2001 Warner Bros. Photo by Sid Avery

 

That’s right, it was probably Billy, I mean Danny Ocean and his 10 best friends. They are one of the only teams that could pull something like this off. The time from when Brady took off the jersey to the moment it was found stolen was approximately 12 minutes. So you would need the coordinated efforts of a legit outfit to get away with this crime. And if they can break into Terry Benedict’s Las Vegas casino vault then they for sure can get into a fancy men’s room in Texas. But a good scam leaves no trail so maybe the jersey on truck is a fake so people stop looking for the real McCoy. Damn, so clever.

 

The only other scenario that seems likely is that Lady Gaga did it. Did you see her halftime show? She apparently can do anything. Plus we know she is a master of disguise so she probably dressed up as Rob Gronkowski, strolled into the locker room and scooped the jersey before she flew away on sparkle pony.

 

 

The only question remaining is, who is the buyer? That would be Vladimir Putin. He already has one of Patriots owner, Robert Kraft’s Super Bowl rings, why not complete the outfit. Story goes that back in 2005, Kraft was meeting Putin and he let him try on the ring and Putin never gave it back. The White House urged Kraft to let Putin keep the ring as a gift for the sake of foreign relations. So maybe stole is a harsh word, bullied is more appropriate. Either way, Putin has a ring and now maybe two of Tom’s Super Bowl jerseys. I think someone is playing a little fantasy touch football in the Winter Palace.

 

Keep an eye out for clues as the story develops. The truth is still maybe stranger than any of this. I sure hope so because it’s already a great piece of drama. Who knows? Maybe Tom will win a 6th Super Bowl, I bet he doesn’t take his jersey off then.

 

Clooney.

 

 


Blackout Bruno’s NFL Picks for Super Bowl 51

Written by :
Published on : February 2, 2017

 

 

The stage is all set for Super Bowl 51. Once again, the New England Patriots will head back to the biggest game in football with the hopes of adding even more to their wall of fame. While the Atlanta Falcons are only in their second SB ever and they are seeking their first win. I went 1-1 in the Conference Championship games. I had the Packers beating the Falcons but I’ll gladly take the loss in my silly picks record if it means Aaron Rodgers’ season is over. So far in the playoffs, my record is 7-3. Only one guess left. Let’s blend a pitcher of margaritas and dive into the NFL’s premiere event. Here is my pick for the Super Bowl.

 

New England Patriots vs Atlanta Falcons

As I’ve done all year, the picks are about who I think is going to win, not who I like. Those two things rarely line up. I don’t dislike New England, in fact I like Tom Brady but I’m just so tired of seeing them win. I’m rooting for Atlanta all the way, I very much hope they win. It’s better for the game if some new teams bring home the Lombardi Trophy.

 

 

I loved the way the Falcons dismantled the Packers. They did it so soundly and completely, it was a work of art. Matt Ryan to Julio Jones seems like the most dangerous combo around. Plus the way running backs Tevin Coleman and Devonta Freeman both catch and run, allows Atlanta to keep drives moving. Which normally leads to lots of points. The Falcons are an indoor team and they will enjoy the dome in Houston and look to keep up their blistering pace on offense. On defense, they have played some solid bend don’t break football and seem to generate enough turnovers to close out games. This is looking like it could be an epic Super Bowl 51.

 

On the New England side of the conversation, it’s just hard to bet against them. They are so modular and they do exactly what they need to. Every time. In many ways, Matt Ryan and company have copied some of the way the Pats move the chains. The use of the versatile backs to spread out the defense to later attack down field. Nothing super revolutionary, but these are squads executing it perfectly. Looking at the offensive roster, I’d give the talent edge to Atlanta but that doesn’t mean anything because Tom Brady can beat you with anyone. He’ll make WR Chris Hogan look like a Hall of Famer if he needs to.

 

 

Looking head-to-head, it seems fairly evenly matched. And if that’s the case then I have to say Patriots. They have the experience, they know what it takes to win a Super Bowl and if they get the ball at the end of the game, look for some vintage Brady as he leads his troops down for the game-winning score.

Winner: New England

 

Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait for the big showdown in Houston but it always comes with just a hint of sadness. This is because I know the NFL season is over and football will go into hibernation until it’s time for the draft. So enjoy the Super Bowl and let’s pray it’s a close contest. Don’t forget the guacamole either.

 

Parade.

 

 


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