Most intriguing games of the upcoming NFL season

Written by :
Published on : August 12, 2017

 

The NFL season is so close I can practically taste it. It’s early August and we are just beginning to get some preseason football action. This is an exciting time of year when football (and Burning Man) is pretty much all I can think about. This is the time when I have an uneasy optimism about my beloved Detroit Lions as I allow myself to believe that maybe, just maybe, this will be the year we overcome the god damned Packers and win the division.

 

Aside from the Lions, I’m excited about the season in general and I’m starting to form opinions (based on nothing other than my own analysis and guess work) about who is going to be worth watching this year. With that in mind, I’ve started to take a look at the schedule and pick out games that I think will be exceptionally entertaining. Here are the most intriguing games of the upcoming NFL season.

 

Chargers at Broncos. Week 1.

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Bruno thought I was crazy for this one but hear me out. The Chargers still have Phillip Rivers and Melvin Gordon, and if the rest of the team can stay healthy they should have a solid squad. The Broncos should have a good defense with Von Miller leading the way and if they can find any semblance of a competent passing game then they should be in the running for the AFC West. This game, though early in the season, should go a long way to sorting out what that division will look like all year.

 

Cowboys at Cardinals. Week 3 MNF: League’s top young running backs (removed).

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Before the Cowboys electrifying young running back, Ezekiel Elliot, got suspended for being an asshole this was one of my favorite early matchups of the season. The Cardinals have my favorite running back and the MVP of my championship fantasy football team last year, David Johnson. This was going to be an epic battle on the ground, but now I just hope David Johnson rushes for 250 yards, has 200 receiving yards and scores 5 touchdowns.

 

Atlanta at New England. Week 7: Super Bowl rematch.

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Remember that one time the Atlanta Falcons had a Super Bowl Victory firmly in their grasp only to choke away a 25 point lead in the second half to Tom Brady and the Patriots? Well this is their chance to get some sort of payback.

 

Dallas at Atlanta. Week 10.

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This is the first of my potential conference championship game previews on the list. Atlanta represented the NFC in the Super Bowl last year and the Cowboys were favorites to make it to the conference final before running into the Green Bay Packers. Theses two teams will be in the running for it again this year and this first matchup should be a good one.

 

New England at Oakland. Week 11: Mexico City.

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In the next potential conference championship game preview, we have the Patriots facing off against the Raiders. I would bet money that the Patriots will be heading back to the AFC Championship game and the Raiders seem poised to build on a successful 2016 campaign that was derailed by an injury to their young QB, Derek Carr. Estadio Azteca in Mexico City will surely be rocking as the greatest quarterback of all time faces off against one of the best young gunslingers in the league.

 

New England at Pittsburgh. Week 15.

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This is a rematch of last years AFC Championship game and if us football fans are lucky, it will be a preview of this year’s. Give me Tom Brady vs Le’Veon Bell and Antonio Brown any day of the damn week. This is deep enough in the season to have serious playoff implications but not so late that Bill Belichick is resting half his team. Get ready for a barn burner in this one.

 

Green Bay at Detroit. Week 17.

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Normally no one is getting all that excited about any Detroit Lions game, but for the second year in a row the Lions will host the rival Green Bay Packers at home to end the season. Last year this game decided the NFC North and the hope is that it will be the same scenario. And hopefully my Lions will win the NFC North for the first time since the division was created back in 2001.

 

Well there you have it. The most interesting matchups of the upcoming NFL season as I see them. Are there any games that you think shouldn’t have made the list or any marquee games that you think I missed? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

 

 


Roger Pretzel’s Haunted Dungeon: Le’Veon Bell Waits and Waits… And “Who Can Kill a Child?”

Written by :
Published on : January 11, 2017

 

Welcome back to Roger Pretzel’s Haunted Dungeon. In this spooky sanctum I’ve poured over all the replay tape to come up with my favorite NFL play of the week. Then it’s straight back to the projector to unspool a film you may have not been aware of…

 

The lights have dimmed, the cauldron bubbles, and the bats roost above.

 

Wild Card Weekend: Le’Veon Bell waits… and waits for the opening on huge day

 

Watch: HERE

 

Le’Veon Bell had an amazing day on Sunday, busting down the field for 167 yards and the Steelers postseason single game rushing record. Out of all of Bell’s great moments in making the Dolphins’ defense look goofy and flatfooted, it’s this brilliant play in which Bell shows us why he’s top tier.

 

Bell puts a lot of trust in his offensive linemen as he waits for what seems like an eternity behind a black and yellow human wall before taking advantage of an open hole and breaking off 15. In watching most of the games this Wild Card Weekend, this play felt so much different from the majority of run plays I saw where guys with jitters were happy to just run into amped up defenses for a couple yards (this of course discounts Thomas Rawls, who took the Lions straight to shed with an impressive streak of power running).

 

Bell shows bonkers vision as a back and his acceleration is simply bananas. Let’s go Steelers.

 

Wild Card Weekend: Who Can Kill a Child?

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Director: Narciso Ibanez Serrador
Released: 1976

 

Definitely my favorite “evil kids” movie of all time. Narciso Ibanez Serrador’s Who Can Kill a Child? comes on strong with a provocative opening credit sequence depicting politically charged stills of wounded and dead children caught in war zones. But after that it’s a slow buildup to mayhem as a massively pregnant gal and her partner look for a little R & R on an island her beau had enjoyed visiting as a youth.

 

Despite a few kids running around, the town seems completely deserted and the tension mounts as the mystery unfolds. Meanwhile, the island’s moppet inhabitants become increasingly and disturbingly hostile.

 

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A masterful sense of tone combined with a genuine 70’s grindhouse feel make this picture unforgettable as director Ibanez Serrador gleefully perverts the innocence of children in a sickening crockpot of menace to a point where the tykes are gleefully shooting guns at adults and turning their hapless elders into piñatas.

 

The picture’s astounding complexity is starkly laid out in a moment in which two boys are inspecting the mutilated corpse of a naked woman: it’s not the horror of violent death that attracts them, but instead it’s the novelty and taboo of her bare body that inflames their youthful curiosity, even in this most perverse of settings.

 

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Of course our heroine’s advanced pregnancy provides for some built in tension, as well as some good philosophical grist for the mill in terms of the film’s message. The explosive final efforts of the couple to save themselves from the pipsqueak mob are worthy of the hysteric plateaus of The Last House on the Left (1972), and there’s a twist towards the end that sounds ludicrous on paper but is really quite effective in its unrelenting insanity.

 

The Children of the Corn end up looking like a bunch of candy-asses next to this murderous gang of li’l rascals. This is another one of those pictures that I can’t recommend highly enough.

 

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The trailer: 

 

 

Disc available for rental on Netflix and available for purchase on Amazon.

 

 


Roger Pretzel’s Haunted Dungeon Week 16: Antonio Brown Stretches For Game Winning TD and “The Killer Shrews”

Written by :
Published on : December 31, 2016

 

Welcome back to Roger Pretzel’s Haunted Dungeon. In this spooky sanctum I’ve poured over all the replay tape to come up with my favorite NFL play of the week. Then it’s straight back to the projector to unspool a film you may have not been aware of…

 

The lights have dimmed, the black candles gutter, and the dark lord has been invoked.

 

Week 16: Antonio Brown Stretches for Game Winning TD

 

 

Can it be? Act like you know.

 

It’s damn near impossible to pick anything except this in week 16, with Antonio Brown showing the kind of skill and effort that makes him one of the league’s top receivers in a play that all but wrapped up the AFC North for the Steelers. Y’all know Roger Pretzel’s a run kind of guy in the red zone but that’s obviously not the way the league works anymore, and you’re not gonna do it regardless with a scant fourteen ticks left in the game and no times out.

 

I love this play. Offensive coordinator Todd Haley’s not rewriting the book with a short cross pass, but making the route just shy of the goal line and trusting your receiver to fight for the touchdown is pure gold. Brown stands up to three D-men and has the power to not go down and the smarts to stretch that arm out. This should be a contender for play of the year.

 

Week 16: The Killer Shrews

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Director: Ray Kellog
Released: 1959

 

This surprisingly intriguing B-movie is rightfully famous today for its atrocious special effects, in which greyhound dogs were outfitted with toothy facial prosthetics and some sort of shaggy fur suit in order to depict the titular shrews that are let loose against a hapless group of humans holed up for a last stand. I’m not going to say the visuals aren’t often ridiculous but you owe it to yourself to give this one a chance.

 

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Here’s the concept behind the silly title: in the real world, shrews are tiny little guys related to moles who, because of their diminutive size, have a bonkers fast metabolism rate that requires them to eat more than their body weight every day. So what if you sized up these crazed predators to a stature that could take down humans? In reality the animal would have a lower metabolic rate, but this is Hollywood baby, so let’s suspend the disbelief.

 

The writing is easily the strongest element of the picture with not only the conceit of the hyper predatory shrews becoming giant, but also the concept of a scientist trying to shrink down humanity so we’ll have more resources to go around (“The Big Shrink” by The Dead Kennedys, anyone?).

 

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There’s some good human drama here too, with hero James Best evading assassination attempts from wannabe-top-dog Ken Curtis all while the slavering beasts are pounding the gates. Finally, the depiction of violence is far more serious here than one might reasonably expect. Shotgun blasts knock over well trained dogs-cum-shrews within the same frame without a cut, which is really quite impressive for such a low budget picture.

 

And yet it’s clearly this combination of positive elements and schlocky visuals that elevates The Killer Shrews from a worthwhile programmer into the pantheon. The threat of death is so palpably real for these lousy actors, but on the other hand, their attackers come off so distinctly as dogs dressed up as monsters.

 

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View the trailer here:

 

 

And the masterpiece in its entirety:

 

 

 


Roger Pretzel’s Review ‘N Brew: Wild Card Weekend

Written by :
Published on : January 13, 2016

 

 

In this little corner Roger Pretzel will review his favorite play of the week along with a thoughtful review of what beverage he was imbibing at the time.

 

 

Wild Card Weekend: The Butt Reception

 

VIDEO: HERE

 

We all remember Mark Sanchez’s infamous Thanksgiving day “Butt Fumble.” Well, be prepared to meet his overachieving little brother the “Butt Reception.”

 

Hope you all had a good Wild Card weekend. I sure did. The Texans got thumped by the Chiefs despite, J.J. Watt and Vince Wilfork trying to push their way in for a touchdown, Blair Walsh inconceivably chumped a game-losing gimme field goal, and bedlam broke out as the Bungles self-destructed in a horrific conflagration of failure.

 

During that strange, dark evening in Cincinnati there were some truly nasty head hits, Big Ben got his shoulder busted, and a couple of shameful penalties stitched up the game in the Steelers favor. Martavis Bryant’s acrobatic reception in the third was the game’s first touchdown and put a serious hurt on the trailing Bengals. Seen in broadcast the catch didn’t look particularly remarkable, but when slowed down one gets a jaw-dropping view of Bryant juggling the ball through his legs as he flips forward in order to prevent it from touching the turf.

 

It’s as good a catch as I’ve seen all year.

 

 

Wild Card Weekend: A Whole Case of Cream Ales

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The first of these I ever had was Genesee Cream Ale, which is not surprising seeing as how Genny is still the biggest name in the game. Smooth, light, and damn satisfying this was a beer made for crushing can-after-can on a lazy football Sunday. As its name suggests, cream ale uses a top-fermenting yeast (making it an ale), but was designed specifically to taste like a lager, and is often chilled during the second phase of fermentation like a lager.

 

 

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From a basic historical standpoint, cream ale came about because most early American brewers were German, and as such they popularized the motherland’s idea of a crisp, clean, and refreshing beer in this country. Ales tended to be fruitier, burlier, more challenging, more English, and sometimes cloying, so the brewers who were working with lots of ale yeasts decided to make their ales taste more like the beers that were most popular on the current market.

 

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Eventually cream ale fell out of vogue when king lager completed its domination of big beer in the latter half of the 20th century, but now with the explosion of craft brewing, plenty of folks are trying their hand at this uniquely American brew style.

 

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So despite the weird sounding name, there’s nothing to fear from a chilly cream ale. Order one up and tell ‘em Roger sent you.

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 17

Written by :
Published on : January 2, 2016

 

 

Well folks, it’s been an incredible year making picks for the all the SBS staff. We’re a bunch of smart motherfuckers. Though there was a heated competition and I am currently a distant second, I will make my boldest prediction yet: I will become the ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks Champion. In fact, here is an excerpt of my acceptance speech:

 

 

But the real point here is more exposé than anything. What the hell got into SBS Editor and possible PED user Bruno? Here we are in a two-man race between myself and Ryan, comfortable on our laurels, when all of a sudden this dude Bruno gets the Shining and mounts a ridiculous comeback. In the last five weeks he’s been among the top two in picks, including blowing us all (out of the water) this past week. Sick of it. Someone needs to dig up the dirt.

 

Moving on, the trickiest game on the slate this week for me to pick was the Cardinals – Seahawks matchup, mainly because they’re both damn good.  The game is in Arizona, but there’s very little at stake for the Cards, already having won the NFC west, while Seattle and Russell Wilson were straight up Megachurching everyone in their path before that unfortunate Rams loss (yes, when it applies to Russell Wilson on the football field, I believe “Megachurch” can be used as a verb). That loss makes this game critical for the Seabirds, not so much for the Sandbirds, so I went with Seattle.

 

That about does it for the ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks for this year.  Thanks so much to the readers, we sincerely hope that you made money gambling illegally, using our tried-and-true methods of nonsense.  Here’s to a great end of the NFL season, playoffs, Super Bowl, and hopefully a Roger Goodell Satan-worshipping scandal in the off-season.

 

My New Year’s resolution for 2016:

 

 

Week 17

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Week 12

Week 13

Week 14

Week 15

Week 16

 

 


Champ and Chump: Week 16

Written by :
Published on : January 1, 2016

 

Happy New Year from myself and everyone here at SBS. As we ring in 2016, we make our New Year’s resolutions. Many of us we plan to make the gym a part of our daily routine, or put down our smokes or maybe it’s less drinking. For others maybe we just want to focus on becoming a better person overall, or get more in touch with our families and friends. While that all sounds great for you and me, we’ve chronicled a lot of athletes over the last 15+ weeks whose resolutions should have been to stay on the right side of this list. This week we take notice of a couple guys who outplayed the competition and also find a couple teams who were outplayed. We hit the hardwood a bit too, recognizing a great individual performance and could be on the way to seeing a first for a team in college ball. For the last time in 2015, let’s take a look at the picks for Champ and Chump, and I’ll see you again in 2016

 

 

Champ: Kirk Cousins

 Cousins has the Redskins headed to the playoffs.

 

How good is Kirk Cousins feeling right now? Out of nowhere the Skins have won the NFC East and are looking more and more like a contender every week. Defeating the Eagles on Saturday night, Cousins threw for 365 yards and 4 touchdowns without turning the ball over. Perhaps more importantly, the connection of Cousins to Tight End Jordan Reed (9 catches, 129 yards, 2 touchdowns in the game) has become lethal and seemingly unstoppable. I am not sure many people predicted a division title for Washington this year and I’m sure even fewer predicted a season like this for Kirk Cousins, but two things are for sure, Kirk Cousins is about to get paid and reporters and fans around the D.C. area definitely like that.

 

Honorable Mention:

Isaiah Ford- The Virginia Tech Wide Receiver caught 12 passes for 227 yards and a touchdown in a 55-52 Independence Bowl win over Tulsa, sending legendary coach Frank Beamer out with a W.

 

CJ McCollum- Starting in place of injured Damian Lillard, McCollum just missed a triple-double in a win over the Sacramento Kings. CJ finished with 35 points, 11 rebounds, 9 assists and 4 steals.

 

Bryant McIntosh- Northwestern has never made the NCAA Tournament but is off to a 13-1 start and hoping for the school’s first bid. Sophomore guard Bryant McIntosh, leads the Wildcats including a 33 point/8 assist night against Loyola Maryland. McIntosh hit 11 of 14 field goals leading the charge.

 

 

Chump: Bill Belichick

 Belichick wearing his chump face.

 

Bill Belichick showed Shades of Marty Mornhinweg this past weekend, as Patriots’ coach was on the losing end following a very questionable decision to kick heading into overtime against the New York Jets. Belichick decided to play the wind, and trusted his defense to at least hold New York to a field goal, hoping Brady and the offense would then drive down and win the game. Unfortunately for Belichick, his defense couldn’t hold off Ryan Fitzpatrick and the Jets and they found the endzone on their first possession, ending the game and making Bill Belichick look foolish. I understand that with the new OT rules a field goal on the first drive no longer ends the game but when Tom Brady is your quarterback and you win the toss, go out there and trust Tom Terrific to lead your team to a touchdown on the first drive.

 

Dishonorable Mention:

Green Bay Packers- I keep waiting for the Packers to hit their stride but it appears they may not find it this season. Heading to Arizona and looking to make a statement, the Packers were overmatched everywhere on the field losing 38-8. The Cardinals defense swarmed Green Bay, finishing with 9 sacks and 4 takeaways.

 

Pittsburgh Steelers- In control of their own destiny for the playoffs, Pittsburgh had seemingly one of the easier matchups this past weekend when they headed to Baltimore. The 4-10 Ravens had Ryan Mallett making his first start with the team after being signed December 15, yet the Steelers couldn’t take advantage and now find themselves on the outside looking in at the playoff picture needing help to get in.

 

Manchester United- Winless in their last 8 games, Man U is fading fast. At one point they found themselves atop the table but those days seem incredibly far away. Manager Louis Van Gaal may be on his way out as the club struggles to find a long term replacement for the great Sir Alex Ferguson.

 

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 15

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Published on : December 17, 2015

 

Here we sit on the precipice of week 15. The ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks are almost done for the season and what a fun ride it has been. At least for Ryan and Antoine, who are the only ones who have had a legit shot at the title since the beginning of the year. With 3 weeks of picks left, it’s not likely that Ryan is going to be unseated from the top spot. I suppose he could have a couple of bad weeks and I could miraculously catch up, but this guy just seems to know how to pick winners. He’s a madman who can’t be stopped, and he should probably start gambling on sports.

 

But we can talk about Ryan’s future gambling addiction some other time, right now let’s look at this exciting slate of games. Actually the only game that really looks exciting to me is Panthers at Giants. Mostly because these last fews Panthers games are going to be really suspenseful as they try to go undefeated, but also because it seems like the Giants are finally starting to put it together. Some of that bad luck has turned into late season good luck with that win over the Dolphins last week and they sit in a 3-way tie for the top spot in the abysmal NFC East.

 

There’s also a bunch of garbage matchups, either between good teams who will crush their bad opponents ( Titans @ Patriots, Browns @ Seahawks), or between two bad teams ( Dolphins @ Chargers, Lions @ Saints.) Either way, those will all be hard games to watch, but we’ll watch ’em anyways, because it’s football. And we love football!

 

On to the picks…..

Week 15

 

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Week 12

Week 13

Week 14

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 14

Written by :
Published on : December 10, 2015

 

Hi, I’m Sandy, but no, I’m not a female. However, I am the staff writer that follows the NFL the least avidly despite working at NFL Red Zone last season (HINT: there’s a reason they wouldn’t have me back this year….).

 

So, it’s Week 14 and I couldn’t be happier that it’s almost the postseason for a litany of reasons. What makes me the happiest about entering the third trimester of the 2015-16 NFL season’s pregnancy is that SportsCenter will soon reach that sweet spot of the year in February where they’re basically only showing NBA highlights, and in my world NBA reigns supreme. The next best reason to be happy the regular season is almost over: Super Bowl parties. I do kind of love football, but my favorite part of football is easily the eating that goes along with it. Plus, playoff games are way better in general, but also because my team, the Detroit Lions, won’t be able to break my heart and open my mind to the possibility of NFL conspiracy theories against The D. Their season will simply be over. Football in the snow is cool too.

 

Granted I’m the least knowledgable writer for SBS regarding football, I’ve done pretty well predicting winners this season. As for this week, I predict the NFL to beat the film Concussion on account of Will Smith trying out a weird accent. When Will Smith is kicking ass in action movies, we all win. The Lions might lose the rest of their games, or least the ones they should win, but the NFL will always be undefeated against concussions, but will the Panthers?

Here are the ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks for Week 14:

 

Week 14

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Week 12

Week 13

 

 


Which Athletes Would Make the Best Thanksgiving Dinner

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Published on : November 26, 2015

 

Today is Thanksgiving, which means 3 things; football, food and finding a way to avoid getting stuck hearing your crazy Aunt Beatrice talk about her cats. Just kidding Aunt B, I love hearing about Mr Fluffles, and yes I would love to see more pictures of him. Anyways, I thought that before I fall into a turkey-induced coma, that it might be fun to talk about which athletes, past and present, would comprise the best Thanksgiving dinner.

 

Turkey – Larry Bird

He may be the turkey on our plate but he was no turkey on the court.

 

This seems like a no-brainer. He is one of the greatest basketball players in the history of the game and his name is Bird for Christ’s sake. As one of the best shooters, defenders and fiercest competitors to play the game, you can’t go wrong with making him the centerpiece of your Turkey Day feast.

 

Mashed Potatoes – Jamal Mashburn

Get some of this Mash.

 

A prolific scorer whose 12 year career was sadly marred by chronic knee problems, Jamal Mashburn averaged 19.1 ppg while playing for the Mavericks, Heat and Hornets. He could drain the rock and I can’t figure out if his name has something to do with potatoes or some sort of by-product from a backwoods whiskey still. Either way, he’s our mashed potatoes.

 

Stuffing – “Mean” Joe Greene

You do not want to mess with this man.

 

Joe Greene was a beast in the middle of the defense for those legendary Steelers teams of the 70’s. Sure his name doesn’t sound like food, but he gets to be the stuffing on our plate this year because his work on the inside made sure that opposing running games were stuffed more often than not.

 

Cranberry – Eric Berry

Mr. Berry himself.

 

This dude is one of the best stories in the entire NFL. He had his 2014 season cut short after being diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, and it looked as though his career might be over. Apparently someone forgot to tell him that because he completed his treatment in remarkably fast time in order to be ready for the start of the 2015 season. He has played in every single game this year and is beginning to shine as the season progresses. His courage and dedications earn him a place on the plate as our cranBerry.

 

Gravy – Gary Payton

“I’m the gravy!”

 

Gary Payton is one of the best defenders at the point guard position of all time. He was nicknamed ‘the Glove’ for his ability to lock down the opposition. The Glove covers everything, just like the gravy on my Thanksgiving plate.

 

Dinner Rolls – Antrel Rolle

“I’m trying to make it to dinner!”

 

Every dinner needs some bread in there. He is our dinner Rolle. A Super Bowl Champion and three-time Pro Bowler at the safety position, he has 26 interceptions and 5 defensive touchdowns in his career.

 

 

So there you have it, the ultimate Thanksgiving dinner as represented by some of the best athletes ever. Now, I’m more of a go back for seconds and thirds, and skip dessert kind of guy, but if I have to pick something I’m going to finish my meal off with a little Walter “Sweetness” Payton with some Paul Coffey on the side. If you’ll excuse me there’s a turkey in dire need of some basting.

 

 

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 12

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Published on : November 25, 2015

 

Thursday is Thanksgiving, the holiday that football owns the same way that Bill Murray owns Groundhog Day. It’s inescapable. If you’re not watching it on TV or playing it in the front yard, then you’re probably hiding in the kitchen filling up on hors d’oeuvres and making small talk with your boring cousin. Good luck with that. I’ll see you at halftime.

 

Meanwhile, these ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks remains a tight race. Ryan and Antoine still lead the pack. I find myself squarely in the middle —  ten points away from both highest and lowest record. Oh, and Alex and Mike both have the same stats (95-65). Not bad? Not good enough. All it takes it one good/bad week to change everything.

 

I’m not much for trash talk, so I’m going the opposite route this week — passive aggressive kindness. Enjoy your Thanksgiving, SBS staffers, and good luck with this week’s picks. Don’t choke.

 

Week 12

 

 

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 11

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Published on : November 19, 2015

 

Hello out there everyone,

It’s been since week 1 that I’ve written the intro to these ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks, and what a rollercoaster of a ride it has been. I spent the first few weeks in the basement of the standings but since then, I’ve really turned things around. I’ve had a 1st or 2nd place record for the past 4 weeks and I’m clawing my way back to relevance. Sure, I’m still 11 correct picks behind Antoine and Ryan but if they have just a couple more stinkers like last week then I’ll be right in the thick of it. I think I can, I think I can…

 

There are a few interesting trends in the way the SBS Staff picked this week’s slate of games. For instance, the Jaguars are the consensus winner over the Titans, as if the Jags are some sort of standard of excellence nowadays (or maybe the Titans are just THAT bad). Also, the Lions seems to have restored faith amongst quite a few of us here and as a lifelong Lions fan, that is the perfect time for them to let everyone down. Besides that, everyone is picking the Patriots and Panthers to win their respective games and remain the last two undefeated teams. How great would it be for both of them to lose? Anyways let’s get to the picks.

 

Week 11

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

 

 

 

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 8

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Published on : October 28, 2015

 

I may be the only football illiterate person on the staff. My wisdom for the weekly NFL Staff Picks is based on which place I’d rather live in, and random tidbits I pick up by listening to announcers.

 

Recently, I heard football spectators commenting on the Seahawks. They argued that they are not offensively ready to go on a winning streak following the royal beating they gave to the 49ers last week. My pick for the Seahawks was justified by Pete Carroll’s trajectory in USC football’s glory years. Trojans stick by each other, which is why I was rooting for him, not the team.

 

Anyway, I was struck by a comment in an email from Alex; “football is stupid.” While making my choices for the week 8 picks, certain thoughts came to mind: I barely watch NFL games, but my picks are doing alright; average at worst and better than I expected. Considering my success in making picks for the first time ever, I’ll wait to till the end of the season to confirm or deny if football is stupid.

 

 

Week 8

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

 

 


SBS NFL Picks Against the Spread: Week 7

Written by :
Published on : October 21, 2015

 

This things has gone totally off the rails. My NFL Picks Against the Spread got absolutely destroyed last week and I put up an embarrassing record of 4-9-1. There’s not a whole lot I have to say for myself and I’m going to need a stellar week if I’m to have any hope of getting even here. I’ve been just better than a coin flip up until now, but there’s not really any excuse for what happened. I had a bad week. Simple as that. But like any degenerate gambler, I know I can get it together this week! I can’t lose, so let’s take the plunge!

 

Winning picks in italics

 

Seahawks (-6) at 49ers: 49ers

Seahawks haven’t looked good enough to convince me that they win by more than a field goal. 49ers have looked pretty decent at home though so that’s my pick.

 

Bills (-5.5) at Jaguars (in London): Bills

This isn’t truly a road game for the Bills since it is being played in London and I don’t think the Jaguars are very good right now. I want to believe they can start to put it together but I think the Bills will just be too much to handle.

 

Browns at Rams (-5.5): Browns

I think the Rams will probably eek this out at home but the Browns have been pretty competitive of late. Look for this one to go the Rams’ way late but probably by a field goal or less.

 

Chiefs at Steelers (-2): Steelers

The Chiefs just haven’t been any good this season and their offense is in serious trouble without Jamaal Charles on the field. The Steelers beat a quality opponent last week in the Cardinals, despite having to roll with Landry Jones at QB after Mike Vick (who hasn’t exactly been stellar) got hurt. Le’Veon Bell and the Steelers receivers will be covering the spread, no matter who is at QB.

 

Texans at Dolphins (-4.5): Texans

Arian Foster looks to be getting back into game shape, and that makes all the difference for this Texans team. Between him and DeAndre Hopkins, who is tearing it up right now, this team could actually make a run to win the very bad AFC South. On the backs of those two, the Texans will beat the Dolphins.

 

Jets at Patriots (-9): Patriots

Last week my rule of taking the Patriots and Packers, no matter what the spread is, backfired on me. This one could be just as dangerous because the Jets have looked pretty strong, but isn’t this the perfect time for the Jets to trip over themselves? I see them going into Foxborough and getting a thorough beating at the hand of (arguably) the best team in the league.

 

Vikings (-2.5) at Lions: Lions

This one is also dangerous but as a rule, I don’t really like to pick the road team in a division game. The Lions are still pretty bad when you consider that it took overtime for them to beat the piss-poor Bears. I’m thinking they get Ngata back this week and take a little revenge for their mistake filled loss to the Vikings in week 2.

 

Falcons (-4) at Titans: Falcons

The Falcons lost their bid for an undefeated season last week in New Orleans but they are going to get back on track this week in Tennessee. Devonta Freeman is going to run all over the Titans and you can bet that Julio Jones will get in on the action too.

 

Buccaneers at Redskins (-3.5): Redskins

The Buccaneers running game might give them a chance in this one but I just don’t see Jameis Winston being successful in this road matchup. He has played mistake-prone football all year and I think the pressure of heading up north to play the ‘Skins will be too much. A few too many interceptions means that Washington covers the spread.

 

Saints at Colts (-5): Colts

Andrew Luck looked better this past week but he was still uncharacteristically inaccurate at times. One has to wonder if that injury is still bothering him but another week might help with that. If the Colts don’t get it together real soon, and cut out the bullshit trick plays, then they will be looking for a new head coach very soon. Pagano should just go out and coach his team to a win against a lesser opponent.

 

Raiders at Chargers (-4): Chargers

I’m almost tempted to pick the Raiders in this situation, but I’m not going to…. Remember that whole thing about division games on the road? Yeah, that applies here too. Phillip Rivers and Keenan Allen will win this one if they can avoid the ageless wonder, Charles Woodson.

 

Cowboys at Giants (-3.5): Giants

The Cowboys are playing a division game on the road. And they’re starting Matt Cassel at quarterback! They might as well just fast forward to next week. I don’t care that the Giants just got blown out by the Eagles, they will cover here.

 

Eagles at Panthers (-2.5): Panthers

The Panthers, and especially Cam Newton, are looking very good right about now. They will get the Eagles at home and are bound to capitalize on some Sam Bradford mistakes and keep the unbeaten streak going for one more week.

 

Ravens at Cardinals (-7.5): Cardinals

The Ravens are really bad and I’m regretting not including them in the NFL Graveyard article that I released last week. The Cardinals slipped up recently but will get back on track at home. Look for them to put up a ton of points and cover the spread.

 

 

Bears, Bengals, Broncos and Packers: Bye week.

 


 

 

Last week’s record: 4-9-1

 

Season record: 42-46-3

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 6

Written by :
Published on : October 14, 2015

 

Thanks for reading ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 6. So, one thing they don’t tell you when you begin the process of turning into a fifty-foot tall giant made of diamond, is how strongly such a transformation can affect those around you. For example, did you know that people sometimes resent perfect geniuses like myself who make incredibly insightful NFL picks each week? To quote SBS Co-Founder and bearded maniac, Bruno Tysh: “Why has God cursed me with such strength?”

 

This week, the SBS staff didn’t have our best showing, but we were still strong in making heady picks. Mike tied for the lead with that Bruno dude, and yours truly.  As unquestionable as my brilliant method is, the truth behind the veil is perhaps more deceptive than one might think.  Simply stated: my main strategy is to avoid feeling stupid after making a pick.  The best example of this I can think of came a few weeks ago, when the Texans played the Bucs. My logic in picking Houston? Boy, would I have felt like an idiot picking a rookie quarterback, who’s historically struggled against pressure, on the road, against the mythological creature known as J.J. Watt.  It doesn’t take a genius to make that pick, but it doesn’t hurt that I am one.

 

Week 6

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SBS NFL Picks Against the Spread: Week 6

Written by :
Published on : October 14, 2015

 

Now we’re cooking with gas! For the second week in a row I posted a winning record, coming in at 8-5-1. I’m starting to get a good feel for the teams and I’m poised to increase my overall win percentage this week. The cream of the crop in the NFL is beginning to separate themselves from everyone else and that makes my life much easier. Until further notice I will be picking the Patriots and Packers to win no matter where they are or what the spread is (luckily they don’t play each other), and I suggest you do too. Here are the rest of the SBS NFL Picks Against the Spread for week 6.

 

Winning picks in italics.

 

Falcons (-3) at Saints: Atlanta

I normally don’t like to pick the road team in a division game, but the Saints aren’t any good. The Falcons on the other hand are one of the few undefeated teams. Atlanta has been beating people in the trenches on both sides of the ball and as a result they have been running the ball all over people. Falcons win big.

 

Broncos (-4.5) at Browns: Denver

The Broncos have won all all three of their road games by larger margins than this 4.5 point spread, and against arguably better competition. Their defense is going to eat up the Browns and you can bet that the offense will do enough to cover in this one.

 

Bengals (-3.5) at Bills: Bengals

This is a tricky but I think the Bengals have proven that they are a much better team than the Bills. Add to that the fact that the Bills will be without Tyrod Taylor, LeSean McCoy, and possibly Sammy Watkins, and I could see them getting shut out. The Bills defense will keep it close for a bit but they won’t be able to keep up with what has been a very, very good Bengals squad.

 

Chiefs at Vikings (-3.5): Vikings

The Chiefs were in trouble before Jamaal Charles went down for the year with a torn ACL. Now that their best player is gone, I think things could start to get real ugly in Kansas City. I see Teddy and Adrian going wild over a Chiefs defense that has been pretty disappointing this season. Vikes cover at home.

 

Texans (-1) at Jaguars: Jaguars

A battle of two bad teams means that home field will probably determine the winner. The Texans have the better defense and the Jags have actually looked pretty decent on offense. This one could go either way but I see Blake Bortles avoiding J.J. Watt for long enough to work some magic and win at home.

 

Bears at Lions (-3): Lions

These two teams are even worse than the previous two. I’m going Lions here only because they have got to win at some point right? I’m just assuming they will do it by a touchdown.

 

Redskins at Jets (-6): Redskins

The Jets are going to win this one at home but I don’t think it will be by that much. The Redskins have been bad but their defense ranks in the top half of the league. For that reason I think they will keep it close and cover the spread.

 

Cardinals (-3) at Steelers: Cardinals

How about them Cardinals, eh? Despite having a loss against the Rams at home, they deserve to be in the conversation for best team in the league, along with the Patriots and Packers. Their offense is electric, with Carson Palmer looking 10 years younger, and the defense is perhaps the most opportunistic bunch in football. The Steelers will probably still have Mike Vick throwing the ball. For these reasons, the Cardinals cover and win big.

 

Dolphins at Titans (-2.5):  Titans

To be honest this one could go either way. The Titans have shown just enough for me to believe that they cover at home.

 

Panthers at Seahawks (-7): Panthers

Have the oddsmakers watched the Seahawks this season? In all reality they should be 1-4 but they got bailed out by the refs in Detroit a few weeks back. I’m not sure they win this one straight up, let alone by 7. Take the Panthers.

 

Chargers at Packers (-10): Packers

Always take the Packers.

 

Ravens (-2.5) at 49ers: 49ers

There’s a lot of games between bad teams this week and this is another one of ’em. The fact that they are at home, along with Carlos Hyde’s work on the ground will make the difference for the 49ers.

 

Patriots (-8) at Colts: Patriots

See the explanation for picking the Packers above.

 

Giants at Eagles (-3.5): Giants

I have a feeling that the Giants will be winning in this game late in the 4th quarter and then will find a way to lose by a slim margin. Because of that I choose Giants because they will lose, but only by 2 points.

 

Cowboys, Raiders, Buccaneers, Rams: All on their bye week

 

 


 

 

 

Last week’s record: 8-5-1

 

Season Record: 38-37-2

 

 

 


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