ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Super Bowl

Written by :
Published on : February 4, 2016

 

 

 

Super Bowl 50 is nearly upon us. All I can see in my head is Ace Ventura whispering those magic words that the game is almost here. I love it all: the food, the commercials, the half time show. And sometimes the game is even fun. Not two years ago though. Seattle killed Denver from the first snap. That was one the most lopsided contests I’ve seen in a while. Well maybe the Panthers ripping the Cardinals in the NFC Championship was close a second. Never send a bird to do a cat’s job. Back to the main event. What time is it Ace?

 

 

 

We have the epic showdown of the Denver Broncos versus the Carolina Panthers. A clash of new and old. Cam Newton versus Peyton Manning. The Panthers look solid and seem poised to bring a trophy back to Charlotte. And I like how the Panthers decided to let South Carolina also have a NFL team by cutting the word “North” from their name. That was sweet of them to include their weird little brother. One the other side, we have Peyton. Most would say the greater Manning even if he has less rings than his weird little brother, Eli. That can all change February 7th, 2016.

 

Going into the the big game, we have a three way tie with in the picks with Ryan, Treasure and yours truly. To ensure we don’t end tied, we have each writer also guess the final score. If we are still even, then closest score without going over will be named champ. Standard Price is Right rules. I have the Panthers winning big. I think Cam and the boys will be able to run and that will open up chunk plays through the air or scrambling when the pocket breaks down. Denver’s defense looked great against a one dimensional Patriots offense but that won’t be the same case against Carolina. If I win the playoff picks, I promise to take my girlfriend out to a fancy dinner. Doesn’t that sound nice. Go me!

 

Here is ScoreBoredSports staff picks for the Super Bowl:

 

Super Bowl

 

Wow, everyone has the Panthers winning. I didn’t see that coming. I hope they win so we don’t all look like fools. More importantly, I hope they win by 14 points. Also, no one tell Peyton. It might crush him to find out that no one at SBS thinks he can win even with that killer defense.

 

Conference Championships

Divisional Round

Wild Card

 

And don’t forget about our party we are hosting here in Los Angeles.

 

SB50Flyer

 

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Conference Championship

Written by :
Published on : January 20, 2016

 

 

 

Football is not stupid. It is unpredictable.

 

 

I came in dead last with my regular season picks, which serves me right since my picks weren’t based on anything other than a false gut feeling about which teams would win games.

 

In the postseason, however, I redeemed my shameful last staff member standing and am now in a three-way tie with Bruno and Ryan. And just when I began to feel like a cool kid, I hit a wall.

 

It was helpful to look at the regular season standings to pick teams in the postseason, but this technique wasn’t so helpful in determining which team would take the Conference Championships. The Broncos and the Patriots are both 12-4 in the regular season, which makes this mutually assured destruction with pigskin.

 

I have no idea who to pick.  Thanks to South Park‘s Eric Cartman, I know the Patriots will stop at nothing to win even if that means cheating and stealing. For some reason I cannot explain, my gut says Peyton Manning will win it. It’s the right thing to do. My boyfriend has appealed to my emotions by telling me that the former Trojan and current QB for the Cardinals, Carson Palmer, is likely to retire this season or the next. He says it would be nice to see Palmer win a ring before his playing days are over. I say of course! He must fight on for ‘ol SC and it would be cool to see. If that were to happen, and if the Broncos win their Conference game, then the Super Bowl would be a battle of the veterans between Manning and Palmer. I’m not a big fan, but football, you’ve now got my attention.

 

It seems that these upcoming Conference games are toughies and promise to be good shows.

 

So who takes the Conference Championships? I’ve called it for the Broncos, but I’m debating wether I’ll change my mind and call Alex last minute and say the Patriots! As a Trojan, I’m going with the Cardinals.

 

Here are your ScoreBoredSports NFL Playoff staff picks for the AFC/NFL Conference Championship:

 

Conference Championships

 

 

Divisional Round

Wild Card

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Playoff Staff Picks: Divisional Round

Written by :
Published on : January 15, 2016

 

 

Road teams. Like I said (4-0 last week). And of course, Ryan picked them all right too. Can’t he just give it a rest already? Let someone else win for once. The Chiefs murdered the Texans 30-0, the Steelers edged the Bengals 18-16, the Vikings lost a heartbreaker to the Seahawks 9-10 after they missed a 27 yard field goal in the last minute, and the Packers came alive to beat Washington 35-18. In 4 games, the home teams only scored 43 points. That’s awful. Think of all the poor fans who bought playoff tickets to watch their squads get crushed by the visitors. While the road teams scored 93 points in 4 games. That seems unprecedented. I don’t expect this trend to continue, but the playoffs are all about momentum. By that logic, Kansas City will win it all since they are so hot. Right?

 

Look for the home teams to reclaim dominance this weekend. I think both the Pats and Broncos take care of business. Cardinals too. Also, I think the Panthers should win but Seattle seems like a team on a mission. So I’m having trouble picking against them. The Panthers may be a little sluggish after the bye, while the Seahawks keep finding ways to win. Either way, it’s shaping up for some epic Conference Championships. All the remaining crews have solid rosters but I have to give New England the overall edge. It’s their’s to lose at this point. There is no Eli Manning to stop them this time. Who else has the guts to challenge Brady and the boys?

 

I’m kind of getting sad because I know football is going to end soon. Let’s enjoy the time we left and try to not get too emotional. Shit, here come the tears. These are the NFL playoff staff picks for the Divisional round:

 

Divisional Round2

 

 

Wild Card Picks

 

 


A Quest for Greatness: A Look Back at How I Won the SBS Staff Picks

Written by :
Published on : January 10, 2016

 

About a year ago, I received a message on Facebook from Alex asking me if I would be interested in becoming a writer, or contributor in some facet, for a sports website that he and Bruno had in the works. I eagerly jumped at the opportunity and looked forward to contributing in whatever ways I could. A couple months went by and Alex kept me in the loop as to how the progress on the development of the website was going, and when approximately we would be ready to launch. I anxiously brainstormed some ideas that I thought would be great articles and potential big debates that could catch any sports fan’s eyes and along with the help of everyone else, I’d say we came up with a pretty damn good first year.

 

Without knowing hardly anyone involved with this project personally, there did come a little bit of trepidation on my part as well though wondering a bit, “What if they all think I don’t know shit?” And then of course a bigger nightmare as I get turned into Milton from the movie Office Space and I continue to write articles that never get published and eventually I’m put in charge of rubbing the shoulders of each SBS staff writer as they sit in their cubicles feverishly trying to meet their deadlines. But then I stopped, I took a breath, and said to myself “Relax. SBS doesn’t even have cubicles.” Whew.

 

This past August we decided to come up with an NFL Staff Picks section where we could flex our muscles a bit and show our readers who knows their stuff (or who has the most luck) by picking who we thought would win each game every week. This was it, this was my chance. As an undersized, thin, awkwardly athletic kid, growing up I didn’t have too many trophies that didn’t say the word “Participant” on them, so I decided to take my talents to picking winners instead of being one. It sounds sad, but it’s not all bad.

 

I got off to a hot start but spent the first few weeks looking up to Antoine as he carried the pace for the site. I remained in striking distance however, and by Week 5 I surpassed him. Fortunate to have a few members of the staff get off to some rocky starts, it was shaping up to be a two-man race around the midway point of the season. The amount of 80’s movie themed montages that came to my mind during this season was incredible, and quite unnecessary, as we battled down the stretch.

 

Heading into the final few weeks of the season, I just needed to avoid any sort of meltdown week and I would be ok. It was grind time. I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t shower, I drank a ton of soda pop. I was all over the place. Wound up, tense, anxious. This is how those people that work out at 3:00 in the morning must feel I told myself, this is that “runner’s high” or jolt people get. I of course didn’t take this madness to those lengths, I was not about to hit the gym over this, that’d be just silly. I eventually just took a shower.

 

Screen Shot 2016-01-10 at 1.53.53 AM
                                                                       This one’s for you Clinton Township!

 

 

At the end of Week 17, after the final whistle had blown on the 2015 NFL Regular Season, we had our first champion. The inaugural SBS Staff Picks season had ended and the title was won by–me. The sub-six-foot kid from Clinton Township, Michigan stood alone atop the leaderboard. Overtaken with emotion, it’s taken me until now to put my feelings to print, and looking back over the past three months of this season, I can’t help but dedicate this title to my hometown. We may just be a Charter Township of under 100,000 people, but we are Michigan’s most populous township and don’t you forget it! It’s like Vince Lombardi always said, “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” It’s been one heck of a ride, and I enjoyed looking back at how I became a champion of the first SBS Staff Picks competition. Shout out to our sister city in Yasu, Shiga in Japan!*

 

Final Regular Season Standings

1. Ryan (168-88)

2. Antoine (163-93)

3. Bruno (160-96)

3. Joe (160-96)

5. Sandy (153-103)

6. Alex (152-104)

7. Roger (151-105)

8. Patrick (150-106)

8. Michael (150-106)

10. Bryce (146-110)

11. Nick (144-112)

12. Mike (143-113)

13. Treasure (142-114)

 

 

 

* All “facts” in regards to Clinton Township, Michigan are according to Wikipedia and therefore you can take it with a grain of salt.

 

Be sure to check out the ScoreBoredSports NFL Playoff Staff Picks: Divisional Round page to see who myself and the SBS team picked to win the AFC and NFC Wild Card games this weekend.

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 17

Written by :
Published on : January 2, 2016

 

 

Well folks, it’s been an incredible year making picks for the all the SBS staff. We’re a bunch of smart motherfuckers. Though there was a heated competition and I am currently a distant second, I will make my boldest prediction yet: I will become the ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks Champion. In fact, here is an excerpt of my acceptance speech:

 

 

But the real point here is more exposé than anything. What the hell got into SBS Editor and possible PED user Bruno? Here we are in a two-man race between myself and Ryan, comfortable on our laurels, when all of a sudden this dude Bruno gets the Shining and mounts a ridiculous comeback. In the last five weeks he’s been among the top two in picks, including blowing us all (out of the water) this past week. Sick of it. Someone needs to dig up the dirt.

 

Moving on, the trickiest game on the slate this week for me to pick was the Cardinals – Seahawks matchup, mainly because they’re both damn good.  The game is in Arizona, but there’s very little at stake for the Cards, already having won the NFC west, while Seattle and Russell Wilson were straight up Megachurching everyone in their path before that unfortunate Rams loss (yes, when it applies to Russell Wilson on the football field, I believe “Megachurch” can be used as a verb). That loss makes this game critical for the Seabirds, not so much for the Sandbirds, so I went with Seattle.

 

That about does it for the ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks for this year.  Thanks so much to the readers, we sincerely hope that you made money gambling illegally, using our tried-and-true methods of nonsense.  Here’s to a great end of the NFL season, playoffs, Super Bowl, and hopefully a Roger Goodell Satan-worshipping scandal in the off-season.

 

My New Year’s resolution for 2016:

 

 

Week 17

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Week 12

Week 13

Week 14

Week 15

Week 16

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 16

Written by :
Published on : December 24, 2015

 

Sweet week 16. I’m still in 3rd place with a shot to overtake Antoine. A bunch of jerks behind me. Unless Ryan is unable to get to a computer then the prize is his. Unrelated, would anyone be interested in stealing a computer for me? I’ll pay. The winner of this year’s Staff Picks will receive a pretty dope trophy. Trust me, you want it. This trophy will rotate year to year with the champion. Who knows, maybe even YOU can hoist it. Write us something, join the staff and win next year!

 

I had a solid week with a 13-3 record. Only Roger and Joe (both 14-2) did better. Overall we killed it. It’s almost like we are getting better at this as the year goes on. Wild. I’m going with a few road dogs hoping to keep last week’s trend rolling. I think Washington has a solid shot at Philly. I’ll take Pats, Panthers, Texans, Bears and Steelers. All on the road. I have the Cards at home over the Packers. If AZ can run the ball like the did last Sunday then they should cruise but this is the time of year Rodgers likes to go off. So keep an eye on this one. GB wins big here and they march into the playoffs with some real energy. I’d hate that.

 

Can the Panthers stay undefeated? I’m not betting against them. Even in a divisional game. I see Cam Newton dancing (dabbing?) into more end zones but is coach Ron Rivera going to sit him at some point? To preserve him for the postseason. I mean, he is a running QB. One good hit and that team is in serious trouble. Winning the Super Bowl is more important than going 16-0. But they have the first round bye locked up. And if he sits too long then that may ruin the offensive rhythm. So I don’t even know what the right call is. Either way, they beat Atlanta.

 

I hope to god I don’t finish in 3rd so people stop calling me “Bronze Medal Bitch Bruno.” Here are your picks—

 

Week 16

 

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Week 12

Week 13

Week 14

Week 15

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 13

Written by :
Published on : December 3, 2015

 

As we head back to the grind after a holiday weekend, the clearing smoke shows that Bryce had a massive week and that Ryan and Antoine remain monsters. I managed to have my best week yet, inching up ever so slightly above last place.

 

This week I’m going to focus on my favorite topic: Me. Why am I so bad at this? I’d say I follow the NFL much closer than your average bear, and I’d like to think I’m reasonably intelligent, somewhat articulate, bearable to be around, and potentially attractive to the opposite sex in very low-light situations. I think for me it comes down to historical biases, as opposed to emotional ones. Even without Romo, the Cowboys gotta win one or two, right? Wrong. These second year quarterbacks are on a jag that’s gonna last forever, right? Wrong. The Seahawks are damn near a dynasty by now, right? Wrong.

 

Much like fashion, a chameleon’s ass, and your favorite String Cheese Incident poster after you’ve dropped acid, the individual wins and short term trends of any season are ever changing and fluctuating, even if we tend to focus on the established records of perennially winning teams when it’s over. I for one, am going to try and read those tea leaves with a closer focus on the immediate now as opposed to the macro picture, and may very well allow myself one emotional bias. The Lions are at least gonna be a contender in the NFC North, right? WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

 

Here are your staff picks for week 13:

 

Week 13

 

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Week 12

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 12

Written by :
Published on : November 25, 2015

 

Thursday is Thanksgiving, the holiday that football owns the same way that Bill Murray owns Groundhog Day. It’s inescapable. If you’re not watching it on TV or playing it in the front yard, then you’re probably hiding in the kitchen filling up on hors d’oeuvres and making small talk with your boring cousin. Good luck with that. I’ll see you at halftime.

 

Meanwhile, these ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks remains a tight race. Ryan and Antoine still lead the pack. I find myself squarely in the middle —  ten points away from both highest and lowest record. Oh, and Alex and Mike both have the same stats (95-65). Not bad? Not good enough. All it takes it one good/bad week to change everything.

 

I’m not much for trash talk, so I’m going the opposite route this week — passive aggressive kindness. Enjoy your Thanksgiving, SBS staffers, and good luck with this week’s picks. Don’t choke.

 

Week 12

 

 

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 10

Written by :
Published on : November 12, 2015

 

 

Looking at my record, one could ask “Why is this guy qualified to even talk football?” My record with the staff picks is over .500 and if I had not been loyal to the Detroit Lions for several weeks, I could easily add 7 wins to my total. So please blame my unwavering loyalty to the worst team in football for my current standing.

 

THE GREAT NEWS is that we have half a season yet to play. I anticipate scoring an easy 8 wins by picking against the Detroit Lions. Such a move will leapfrog me over a few of my avid Lion fan staff mates. We need Ryan to have a personal bye for 6 weeks for any of us to truly catch up. In the meantime, I’ll play it week by week. As Ricky Bobby’s dad ‘Reece’ said in the movie Talledega Nights “if you ain’t first, you’re last.” Then after getting kicked out of Applebees, he reminded us that you can indeed be second, third, heck you can even be fourth. I just want a chance at second place. That’s not too much to ask, right?

 

I hope you all are ready for this PERFECT week I’m about to lay down. Here are the staff picks for week 10 and I’ll see you all at the finish line.

 

Week 10

 

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 9

Written by :
Published on : November 4, 2015

 

Half the year is in the books. We have some clear frontrunners but there is still lots of time for folks to catch up.

 

Yours truly is solidly in third place, like I’ve been for weeks. I just can’t seem to catch either Antoine or Ryan. And to make matters worse, I got Sandy and Michael nipping at my heels. I guess the old rhythm is true:

first is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest.”

 

I do have a hairy chest, I just wish I was the best (at something other than being hairy). And to all my Detroit brothers on the staff: stop picking the Lions to win! I love them but they stink. Picks are supposed to be teams you THINK will win, not HOPE will win. I stopped going with my heart after their second loss. I suggest you all do the same. The Lions are on bye this week so that means brunch with my lady and a Sunday free of crying in front of the TV. That’s a win in my book.

 

In other news, I will not be running for President because I am not old enough and I’m still hoping my NFL career takes off. Also, invest in Bitcoins and be sure to brine your turkey for at least six hours before you put it in the oven. Here are your NFL Staff Picks for week 9:

Week 9

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

 

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 8

Written by :
Published on : October 28, 2015

 

I may be the only football illiterate person on the staff. My wisdom for the weekly NFL Staff Picks is based on which place I’d rather live in, and random tidbits I pick up by listening to announcers.

 

Recently, I heard football spectators commenting on the Seahawks. They argued that they are not offensively ready to go on a winning streak following the royal beating they gave to the 49ers last week. My pick for the Seahawks was justified by Pete Carroll’s trajectory in USC football’s glory years. Trojans stick by each other, which is why I was rooting for him, not the team.

 

Anyway, I was struck by a comment in an email from Alex; “football is stupid.” While making my choices for the week 8 picks, certain thoughts came to mind: I barely watch NFL games, but my picks are doing alright; average at worst and better than I expected. Considering my success in making picks for the first time ever, I’ll wait to till the end of the season to confirm or deny if football is stupid.

 

 

Week 8

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 6

Written by :
Published on : October 14, 2015

 

Thanks for reading ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 6. So, one thing they don’t tell you when you begin the process of turning into a fifty-foot tall giant made of diamond, is how strongly such a transformation can affect those around you. For example, did you know that people sometimes resent perfect geniuses like myself who make incredibly insightful NFL picks each week? To quote SBS Co-Founder and bearded maniac, Bruno Tysh: “Why has God cursed me with such strength?”

 

This week, the SBS staff didn’t have our best showing, but we were still strong in making heady picks. Mike tied for the lead with that Bruno dude, and yours truly.  As unquestionable as my brilliant method is, the truth behind the veil is perhaps more deceptive than one might think.  Simply stated: my main strategy is to avoid feeling stupid after making a pick.  The best example of this I can think of came a few weeks ago, when the Texans played the Bucs. My logic in picking Houston? Boy, would I have felt like an idiot picking a rookie quarterback, who’s historically struggled against pressure, on the road, against the mythological creature known as J.J. Watt.  It doesn’t take a genius to make that pick, but it doesn’t hurt that I am one.

 

Week 6

Continue reading


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 5

Written by :
Published on : October 7, 2015

 

 

 

 

Well guys, week 4 has come and gone and we find ourselves staring week 5 picks in the eyes. Who will win? Who will lose? Who will be absolutely cheated out of a potential victory by the refs, once again, forgetting to make the right call at the right time? Sorry, that last one got away from me. I’m a Lions fan. I pick them every week. And even though I knew that I would probably have another loss in the column, last night was a tough one to take.

 

But no more of my sadness! Let’s celebrate the top selections this week! Special shout outs to Ryan, Patrick, and Treasure. At this point, Ryan looks completely in the driver’s seat and it will take a miracle to unseat him. You know, like a miracle final drive at the end of a game when your offense finally comes alive only to have it taken away after your star WR fumbles the ball less than a foot away from pay dirt? Wow, sorry. I can’t believe that happened again. See you guys next week! I’ll pick the Lions again. Count on it.

 

Week 5

 

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 4

Written by :
Published on : September 30, 2015

 

 

Week 3 of the NFL football season is in the books, and here at ScoreBoredSports there was a lot of “Winning” with our NFL Staff Picks, to quote Charlie Sheen. That’s right all of our NFL “gurus” came in with winning records this week, with none of us predicting less than 10 winners, so I’ll cheers to all of you on that. Our big winners this week were Bruno and myself finishing the week with a gorgeous 13-3 slate.  Through week 3, I am now tied atop the leaderboard with Antoine, who seemed to copy nearly all of my picks last week…wise move. But in all seriousness, for any gamblers out there, continue to check back with Alex for advice on your bets, because after a week like this one, ScoreBoredSports could be your ticket to cashing in big time.

 

The NFL makes its first trip across the pond in 2015 as the New York Jets take on the Miami Dolphins in London. Meanwhile stateside, there are several intriguing storylines: Michael Vick returns to the gridiron in Pittsburgh, Peyton’s wounded ducks have carried the Broncos to a 3-0 start, the Colts breathed a sigh of relief after realizing they still play in the AFC South, nobody can stop Aaron Rodgers, and Tom Brady has the Patriots looking like a 16-0 team again. What does it all mean? Who knows, but let’s take a look at the picks.

 

The ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks for Week 4:

 

SBS NFL Staff Picks: Week 4

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 3

Written by :
Published on : September 23, 2015

 

Well that was one hell of a week. I did awful (5-11). The worst on the staff. That isn’t saying too much because only Treasure had a winning record (9-7). Let’s move on and not talk about it. Antoine pulled ahead and has solo control of first place. ***golf clap*** But screw him. I hope his crown is so heavy that his neck cramps.

 

Looking at the picks for week 3 we see some fun trends. Seems like we all think the Patriots and the Seahawks are going to win. But I put that too and apparently I suck at this, so we may all be wrong. Who knows? Don’t bet the farm. Wait, who owns a farm. Can I come by? See how the sausage is made? My big takeaway from week 2 is the Jets look legit. They owned a Colts team many had in or winning the Super Bowl. Also what are the Cowboys going to look like without Romo or Dez? So many questions? So much football.  Hold tight, here comes the business!

 

Here are your staff picks for week 3:

 

Week 3 Final

 

 

Week 1

Week 2

 

 

 


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