Ryan Lochte Sucks

Written by :
Published on : August 22, 2016

 

So far, this is the strangest story out of the Rio 2016 Olympics. American swimmer, Ryan Lochte, is at the center of a public relations tidal wave. It all started when Lochte and teammates Jimmy Feigen, Gunnar Bentz and Jack Conger went out for a night in Rio. After that, the facts get hazy. But one thing is clear, Ryan Lochte sucks and his actions are an awful distraction from an entertaining Olympic games. This is how it all went down.

 

The first reports stated that Lochte and crew were robbed at gun point while out on the town. Not just by anyone, but by someone saying they were the police. Lochte said badges were shown and that one of them even pointed a gun in his face before they took all their cash and valuables. Don’t worry no medals were lost. It sounded like a tragic tale where our American athletes were the obvious victims.

 

 

The police in Rio didn’t buy the story. Plus this claim is particularly offensive because Brazil has a history with crime and corruption. But something was off. A local judge had questions too, so the passports of the swimmers were seized while everything was sorted out. Turns out Lochte was lying. He picked any easy target to blame. And he got to do it on a grand scale which sucks because the story is bullshit. Lochte lied to cover his ass at the expense of Brazil’s integrity.

 

The truth of that happened that night in Rio was finally revealed when Gunnar Bentz released a statement that explained everything. Turns out, Lochte and the boys weren’t victims, they were villains of this story. After an evening of partying, the swim team stopped at a convenience store. Finding no bathroom, they went behind the building and pissed everywhere. Then Lochte vandalized the back wall by ripping a metal sign down. The wrecking crew got back into their cab and tried to leave when two security guards stopped them and forced them out of the car at gun point.

 

 

The guards demanded money for the destruction team USA caused. Lochte apparently got into a heated exchange with the guards and Conger had to calm him down. The guys paid whatever they had and were allowed to leave. They got back to the Olympic village and that’s when the the lying started. Lochte weaved his fantastic web but thankfully, it all fell apart on him and the truth shined through. Lochte later admitted he was under the influence of alcohol not that like that is a valid excuse. I’ve done some stupid shit after too many beers but I wasn’t a 32-year-old Olympian representing my country in a foreign land.

 

The swimmers paid some fines, gave a statement, then flew home. It’s a bummer that this is the last story out of Rio. But we need to let everyone know that you can’t act like Ryan Lochte. He needs to learn something about class. About not just playing but acting like a champion. That’s what the greats do.

 

Smh.

 

 


Team USA Women’s Gymnastics owns Rio

Written by :
Published on : August 18, 2016

 

 

The women’s gymnastics events are all over. Each medal has a new home with a very proud owner. The lion’s share of that hardware is coming home to the United States thanks to “The Final Five.” This nickname is for the last five women to be trained under the tutelage of famed national team coordinator, Marta Karolyi, before she retires. The five gymnasts are Simone Biles, Aly Raisman, Gabby Douglas, Laurie Hernandez and Madison Kocian, and they straight owned the Rio games. This is how it all happened.

 

The team all-around. The first leg of the journey. Each gymnast does vault, balance beam, uneven bars and floor exercise and the highest combined team score wins. Team USA shined as they easily dominated the field. The final standing saw the crew up a whopping eight points ahead as they captured gold. It was a great start but there was much more to come.

 

usa-gymnastics-final-five-cereal-box

 

Individual all-around. By rule, each country can only send two gymnasts so Simone Biles and Aly Raisman got the nod. This is no knock on the others. Actually, Gabby Douglas averaged higher scores than any of the athletes competing for the other countries. She might have been the only person to give Biles and Raisman a challenge as she was the gold medalist in this event back in 2012. That’s how strong this team is. We have Douglas, the defending champ on the bench. That’s wild. No hard feelings I’m sure. All five are team first. Do it for Marta. Biles wins gold, Raisman silver.

 

On to the solo events. First was vault. Only Simone Biles qualified for the finals. Don’t worry she won gold and yes, she stuck the landing. Next up, the uneven bars. Both Douglas and Kocian made the medal round but Russia’s Aliya Mustafina took the top prize. Madison Kocian won silver after an incredible routine. She is only 16, so remember her now because she will be around.

 

 

Balance beam would be the only other gymnastic gold the American women would be denied. Sanne Wevers of the Neatherlands saw to that with a nearly flawless run. Beside her on the podium was Laurie Hernandez with the silver and Simone Biles with the bronze.

 

The last event, floor exercise. Biles and Raisman once again blew the doors off the joint with a super-heroic display. Biles could not be stopped. The 19-year-old claimed her forth gold of the Olympics. Her teammate, Raisman, followed up her 2012 floor exercise gold with a 2016 silver one. She too has a nice collection going.

 

 

The US women’s gymnastics program is legit and this isn’t news. They rocked the London Olympics in 2012 and all the big tournaments leading up to Rio. Then smashed the 2016 games. There is no reason to think this will change in 2020. Biles is the best in the world and she is surrounded by amazing talent. Reporters asked Raisman if she would retire but she hinted that maybe we could see her in at the next games. So who knows?

 

America leads in the overall medal count and more than a few of those puppies are thanks to the women on our excellent gymnastics team. So let’s take a second to honor them and their effort. And if any of The Final Five are reading this, I just want to say, I see you. I see your hard work and I thank you for it. Thank you for representing our country with class and grace.

 

Can’t wait for Tokyo 2020.

 

 


Olympic updates from Rio

Written by :
Published on : August 14, 2016

 

The 2016 Rio games are off and rolling. There is so much Olympic action that it is truly hard to keep up. Don’t fret, your buds here at ScoreBoredSports got your back. This is all the big news out of Rio de Janeiro. Things you may have missed and all the top stories. Here is what has happened so far.

 

Host Brazil

Opening ceremony was cool. Weird, but cool. Like if Cirque Du Soleil did a show about Paula Abdul. I mean there was lots of dancing. Then there was the parade introducing each country. The star of the show was the flag bearer from Tonga. So shiny and shirtless. Also, things have gone pretty smoothly in Brazil.. There was tons of chatter that Rio wasn’t ready but so far, so good (beyond the green water in the pool). And Zika seems to be more of a bad punchline than a real issue. In terms of medals, the host country only has a few. One gold and two bronzes in judo, plus a silver in shooting.

 

Tonga-Flag-Bearer

 

Team USA

– Swimmer Michael Phelps wins gold medal number 23. That’s 28 total medals in his career. Making him the most decorated American Olympian ever.

 

– 19 year old, Katie Ledecky continues her dominance in the pool. Racking up four gold medals (200m Free, 400m Free, 800m Free and 4x200m relay) in Rio. While scattering a few world records. She is the future of swimming.

 

– Making history was Ibtihaj Muhammad. She claimed bronze in fencing for team USA but she made history as the first American athlete to compete wearing a hijab. An overall awesome story.

 

– Simone Manuel is the first African-American to win an individual swimming medal. She took gold in super dramatic fashion. Hats off to that.

 

 

– The US women’s gymnastics straight up owns. Winning gold in the team event, plus Simone Biles and Aly Raisman took gold and silver in the overall. Look for the Americans to sweep the individual events as well.

 

– Men’s Basketball avoids the upset against Australia on the shooting of Carmelo Anthony. Then barely sneaks away from Serbia. I can’t tell if they are headed for ruin or if this rough patch is what they need to galvanize the team.

 

Rest of the World

– In women’s soccer, Sweden knocks out favorite, USA, in penalty kicks. For the reigning World Cup champs, this is the first time they have ever missed the final round. The door is now open for Sweden to run the table and capture the top prize.

 

– China is second in the overall medal count with multiple golds in weightlifting, diving, and table tennis. Plus, single golds in swimming, track and field, shooting and cycling (track).

 

 

– We have seen Great Britain excel in rowing and cycling (track) but not much else. Step it up or the queen will have your head.

 

– Japan is doing well. They have taken top hardware in judo, swimming and gymnastics. Don’t sleep on the island.

 

– Russia naturally has multiple golds in judo and fencing. Because everyone thinks of Russia when it comes to judo and fencing. En garde comrade.

 

– A big surprise for me was South Korea and their dominance in archery. Of their six golds, four are in the sport. Bullseye.

 

 

– USA made a lot of swimming headlines but let’s take a second to recognize Hungary. The nation has seven medals in swimming so far and three of their seven are gold. Very nice. Way to make a splash.

 

Current medal count HERE.

 

There is plenty I left out. But the games have been great so far. Watch some. Even if it’s not your sport, check it out. You may just fall in love with the energy and effort. Or keep being lazy and check back here and I’ll tell you what happened. Plus jokes. Your choice.

 

Champions.

 

 


Support Us
Support ScoreBoredSports on patreon!

patreon-medium-button
Sponsors

Hide Error message here!

Forgot your password?

Error message here!

Error message here!

Hide Error message here!

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link to create a new password.

Error message here!

Back to log-in

Close