Most intriguing games of the upcoming NFL season

Written by :
Published on : August 12, 2017

 

The NFL season is so close I can practically taste it. It’s early August and we are just beginning to get some preseason football action. This is an exciting time of year when football (and Burning Man) is pretty much all I can think about. This is the time when I have an uneasy optimism about my beloved Detroit Lions as I allow myself to believe that maybe, just maybe, this will be the year we overcome the god damned Packers and win the division.

 

Aside from the Lions, I’m excited about the season in general and I’m starting to form opinions (based on nothing other than my own analysis and guess work) about who is going to be worth watching this year. With that in mind, I’ve started to take a look at the schedule and pick out games that I think will be exceptionally entertaining. Here are the most intriguing games of the upcoming NFL season.

 

Chargers at Broncos. Week 1.

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Bruno thought I was crazy for this one but hear me out. The Chargers still have Phillip Rivers and Melvin Gordon, and if the rest of the team can stay healthy they should have a solid squad. The Broncos should have a good defense with Von Miller leading the way and if they can find any semblance of a competent passing game then they should be in the running for the AFC West. This game, though early in the season, should go a long way to sorting out what that division will look like all year.

 

Cowboys at Cardinals. Week 3 MNF: League’s top young running backs (removed).

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Before the Cowboys electrifying young running back, Ezekiel Elliot, got suspended for being an asshole this was one of my favorite early matchups of the season. The Cardinals have my favorite running back and the MVP of my championship fantasy football team last year, David Johnson. This was going to be an epic battle on the ground, but now I just hope David Johnson rushes for 250 yards, has 200 receiving yards and scores 5 touchdowns.

 

Atlanta at New England. Week 7: Super Bowl rematch.

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Remember that one time the Atlanta Falcons had a Super Bowl Victory firmly in their grasp only to choke away a 25 point lead in the second half to Tom Brady and the Patriots? Well this is their chance to get some sort of payback.

 

Dallas at Atlanta. Week 10.

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This is the first of my potential conference championship game previews on the list. Atlanta represented the NFC in the Super Bowl last year and the Cowboys were favorites to make it to the conference final before running into the Green Bay Packers. Theses two teams will be in the running for it again this year and this first matchup should be a good one.

 

New England at Oakland. Week 11: Mexico City.

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In the next potential conference championship game preview, we have the Patriots facing off against the Raiders. I would bet money that the Patriots will be heading back to the AFC Championship game and the Raiders seem poised to build on a successful 2016 campaign that was derailed by an injury to their young QB, Derek Carr. Estadio Azteca in Mexico City will surely be rocking as the greatest quarterback of all time faces off against one of the best young gunslingers in the league.

 

New England at Pittsburgh. Week 15.

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This is a rematch of last years AFC Championship game and if us football fans are lucky, it will be a preview of this year’s. Give me Tom Brady vs Le’Veon Bell and Antonio Brown any day of the damn week. This is deep enough in the season to have serious playoff implications but not so late that Bill Belichick is resting half his team. Get ready for a barn burner in this one.

 

Green Bay at Detroit. Week 17.

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Normally no one is getting all that excited about any Detroit Lions game, but for the second year in a row the Lions will host the rival Green Bay Packers at home to end the season. Last year this game decided the NFC North and the hope is that it will be the same scenario. And hopefully my Lions will win the NFC North for the first time since the division was created back in 2001.

 

Well there you have it. The most interesting matchups of the upcoming NFL season as I see them. Are there any games that you think shouldn’t have made the list or any marquee games that you think I missed? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

 

 


Who are the 2015 Atlanta Falcons of this year?

Written by :
Published on : November 4, 2016

 

 

We all remember the 2015 Atlanta Falcons don’t we? They jumped out of the gates last season to start with a 5-0 record. They looked to be the class of the NFC South and of the conference overall. Hopes were high in Atlanta and it had people talking about them winning the division before the season had even hit its half way mark. They had a new head coach in former Seahawks defensive coordinator, Dan Quinn. And had as electrifying a quarterback/receiver combo as anyone in the league with Matt Ryan and Julio Jones. On the surface, they seemed to have everything it takes to win the conference and play for the Lombardi Trophy.

 

Then it all came crashing down.

 

After being undefeated through the first five weeks of the 2015 season, the Falcons would go on to finish 8-8 and 2nd in the NFC South to the Carolina Panthers, who would eventually go to the Super Bowl. They got exposed as being too one-dimensional on offense by relying solely on the talents of Ryan and Jones to carry the team. The defense was sub-par, despite it being the specialty of the head coach, and there just weren’t enough pieces to keep winning consistently.

 

This was how the second half of the 2015 season felt for the Atlanta Falcons.

 

In 2016, there are multiple teams that are sitting pretty at the half way point. The New England Patriots (7-1) are in a league of their own, as usual. In Dallas, the Cowboys (6-1) are riding a potent offensive attack led by two rookie of the year candidates. The reigning Super Bowl champion Denver Broncos (6-2) are in good position thanks to their defense and running game (sound familiar?), despite having an untested QB at the helm. These teams are, for the most part, balanced and capable of winning on any given day. They are headed to the playoffs.

 

There are two other teams that have only two losses that aren’t doing things quite as convincingly though. The Oakland Raiders (6-2) and the Minnesota Vikings (5-2) are both deeply flawed teams that seem to be on the verge of getting exposed. Let’s take a look at both squads and see which of them is destined to be this year’s 2015 Atlanta Falcons by falling flat on their faces in the second half of the season.

 

Oakland Raiders

The Oakland Raiders sit at 6-2 almost completely on the back of their offense and their risk-taking head coach. They’ve had the good fortune of playing mostly middle of the pack teams (Saints, Titans, Ravens, Chargers, Buccaneers) and one bad team (Jaguars). They’ve beaten all of those squads. The surefire sign of a good football team is that they beat the teams they are supposed to beat. The two teams they’ve lost to are this year’s Falcons (5-3 and much improved over last year with one of the most prolific offenses in football) and the Kansas City Chiefs (5-2). Both of these teams pretty good so you can’t really fault them for dropping a couple to top competition.

 

In short, the Raiders are getting the job done, if not always in convincing fashion. It took a ballsy as hell 2-point conversion to win the game with 47 seconds on the clock instead of heading to overtime in New Orleans in week 1. Let us also not forget the 513 yard effort from QB Derek Carr and the equally ballsy touchdown pass on 4th down with 1:45 left to play in overtime. This likely helped the NFL avoid yet another tie game. The Raiders also committed an NFL-record 23 penalties for 200 yards. When you figure those two very unconvincing wins against two of the NFL’s worse teams and the rest of their wins came by an average of 7 points, it’s easy to see that this team has some issues.

 

 Can the Raiders survive on the strength of Derek Carr’s arm and the size of Jack Del Rio’s balls alone?

 

The most glaring issues are penalties, which reared its head in a big way in week 8, and the play of the defense. The Oakland Raiders are at the bottom, or near the bottom, in all categories that relate to both of those things. Coach Jack Del Rio has the offense all figured out. The Raiders can put up points with most teams in the league, but if they don’t get these other issues figured out then this team could very well end up like the 2015 Atlanta Falcons, on the outside of the playoffs looking in.

 

Luckily for fans of the team, both of these things can be corrected, especially the penalties. That’s simply coaching and practice. This team HAS to get more disciplined if they want this run to continue and it’s totally within the realm of possibility. A bit more tricky will be improving a defense which ranks at or near the bottom of the league in points allowed per game and yards allowed per game. But there is hope. The star of the defense, Khalil Mack, is finally starting to put it together. He posted a 2 sack, 7 tackle, 4 qb pressure, 1 forced fumble stat line in the week 8 win over the Bucs. The defense also allowed a season-low 270 yards. If this is the beginning of a trend then there is a good chance that the 2016 Oakland Raiders will not be the second-coming of the 2015 Atlanta Falcons.

 

Minnesota Vikings

The Minnesota Vikings were everyone’s favorite pick to win the NFC before the season began. Then the injuries started, most notably with Teddy Bridgewater’s dislocated knee in the preseason. An injury that has the future of the young QB’s career hanging in jeopardy. This injury forced them to trade for perennial NFL whipping boy, Sam Bradford, and at first the move seemed to have worked out pretty well. Through 6 games Bradford has, for the most part, played as good or better than at any point in his 6 year career. In combination with a defense that is first in the league in points allowed per game, it’s easy to see why this team had such high hopes before the season.

 

But the injuries just kept coming.

 

In September, the team was forced to place all-time great running back (and noted child abuser) Adrian Peterson on injured reserved. Losing the other cornerstone of the offense was a big hit, but it didn’t stop there. The offensive line has seen an endless amount of injuries including season-ending ones for tackles Matt Kalil and Andre Smith. With the rest of the offensive line battling their own injuries or underperforming in their roles, the running game has taken a serious hit. As a result the team is averaging an abysmal 2.7 yards per attempt on the ground and offensive coordinator, Norv Turner, was given his walking papers following week 8. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

 

 A team can overcome the loss of one or two players, but when the entire offensive line goes down…

 

A month ago, the Vikings were owning every team they played and people were talking about them as a shoe-in to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl this year. In the last two weeks, they have been exposed by a solid Eagles defense and a poor Bears team. The team scored just 10 points in both of those matchups and Sam Bradford has been sacked a total of 11 times over both games. And we all know that if any quarterback in the league thrives under defensive pressure, it is definitely NOT Bradford.

 

With the problems that this team faces on offense, there is a good chance that they are in real trouble. And dangerously close to repeating what the Falcons did last year. The issues with the offensive line and running game aren’t going anywhere. Anytime a contender is forced to fire their offensive coordinator mid-season, there is ample reason to be worried. The team signed former pro bowl tackle-turned-revolving door, Jake Long, to try and stop the bleeding at the left tackle position and it has been a resounding failure. The defense is AMAZING but that might not be enough to win the division, let alone the conference.

 

Both of these teams have their issues, but for one of them those issues will not be resolved this year. That’s right, it is the 2016 Minnesota Vikings who will be this year’s Atlanta Falcons. The offensive line is paper thin and it is going to get Sam Bradford exposed for the fraud that he was during his first 4 weeks of play. He is not equipped to carry the offense by himself and because of that there’s a chance that these Minnesota Vikings will finish right around .500 and miss the playoffs. Just like the Falcons did last year.

 

 


Week 4: Steve Smith is Gone and Matango AKA Attack of the Mushroom People

Written by :
Published on : October 6, 2016

 

Welcome back to Roger Pretzel’s Haunted Dungeon. In this spooky sanctum, I’ve poured over all the replay tape to come up with my favorite NFL play of the week. Then it’s straight back to the projector to unspool a film you may have not been aware of…

 

The lights have dimmed, the wolves have ceased howling, and the mummies have been wrapped.

 

Week 4: Steve Smith Sr. Knocks Over David Amerson For Lightning Quick TD

 

This was one of the week’s big ones, but I had to chime in too since Sr has always been one of my favorite receivers and I’m gonna miss him when his inevitable retirement comes. Small, but sturdy and with alacrity to spare, Smith, shows that he’s 37-years-ageless with this 50-plus yard catch for TD off the play action pass.

 

Flacco throws a bullet here that Smith has to extend on, but the coverage ain’t there so once old 89 gets possession, he wastes no time giving Oakland CB David Amerson the unkindest cut by shoving him down to the turf with his shoulder as the poor guy struggles to make a tackle. You can almost hear that authoritative “sit down” that we all imagine in our heads.

 

Hard to blame Safety Reggie Nelson for the total half-hearted whiff on the tackle attempt because Dad’s off to races on a play that cut more than half the field, lasted mere seconds, and resulted in a score.

 

That is the quickness right there.

 

Week 4: Matango AKA Attack of the Mushroom People

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Director: Ishiro Honda
Released: 1963

 

Earlier this season we talked about the great George A. Romero and how his legacy will always revolve around the flesh-eating undead zombie trope he pioneered. Ishiro Honda’s career is marked in much the same way with being the grandfather of Japan’s most important (my opinion) export: Godzilla. While the original Gojira (1954) is a lot darker and more violent than many of us remember, Honda basically spent the rest of his prolific career at the Toho studios churning out a long line of less serious, but no less destructive or fun Kaiju movies, including some of the genre’s greatest classics like Mothra (1961), Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster (1964), and Destroy All Monsters (1968).

 

But amongst all the slumbering reptilians asleep under the ocean, aliens, and his very own bizarre rendition of Frankenstein’s monster, one of Honda’s strangest cinematic fever dreams would sometimes be retitled as Attack of the Mushroom People.

 

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When a gang of pampered city-slickers become stuck on an eerie rock that even birds seem to avoid, this “Gilligan’s Island” from hell is a very slow build where the danger of sexual assault against the women castaways mounts uncomfortably and the diminishing food supply is a cold hard truth. Thankfully (for the viewer!) this island is covered in all manner of wildly proliferating fungi, and when one member of the party succumbs to the hunger in his belly it’s inevitable that things start to take a turn for the monstrous.

 

This is going to be one of the best looking pictures we screen in the dungeon this season, with lots of great production design that includes an entire derelict wrecked ship and of course the many vividly colored examples of the island’s eerie fungal flora. And while as previously mentioned, this is a very slow build, there is indeed an actual payoff of “Mushroom People” in a way that is satisfying to horror fans that want a little bit more than pure psychology to dictate their frights. The strong sense of craftsmanship, partially thanks to this actually having been made at a major studio also carries over to the photography and most importantly to the genuinely creepy sound design with unnatural and jarring sonic stunts that complement the nightmare island presented onscreen.

 

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Take a nibble on these toadstools with the trailer here:
 

 

 

Or get fully weird with the entire picture for free!
 

 

 


Roger Pretzel’s Haunted Dungeon Week 1: Derek Carr and The Giant Claw

Written by :
Published on : September 14, 2016

 

 

 

Welcome to my new digs blobs and ghouls! While the last NFL season was spent woozily sprawled out on the couch with the room spinning, this year I’ve decided to take refuge in my macabre sanctuary. A place where I can obsess over the week’s best play as well as the week’s weirdest movie in peace. Without the cruel admonishments of so called “tasteful” film critics.

 

Pull up an electric chair, lay back on the rack, and get comfy as I run the tape.

 

Week 1: Derek Carr Strong Run and Vault For First Down

 

 

Now those familiar with the old Pretzel know that I have a certain weakness for the defensive side of the ball. As such, I was hoping to start the season with a big sack, safety, pick, or crucial stop, but after reviewing all the tape I couldn’t get this one out of my head.

 

It’s a tie game in New Orleans well before the half, and the Saints send a couple of extra guys after Carr on a 3rd and 9. After a quick scan downfield, the Oakland QB scoots to the left and takes off, and while most of the focus rightly belongs on his acrobatic flip-dive for the first, I really like the determined run that got him to that point. Even in slow-mo, the guy’s legs are a blur. There’s something about this play that while risky, also smacks of the irrepressible excitement of football’s return. I’m not saying that Carr wouldn’t be able to repeat such a feat in say week 15, but I am saying that the likelihood of it is rarer than an ex-convict’s first steak out of the joint.

 

Week 1: The Giant Claw

Director: Fred F. Sears
Released: 1957

 

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Val Lewton became deservedly famous for producing a series of fright flicks for RKO that traded in on atmosphere and what WASN’T seen, leaving the scares to your imagination and keeping the production’s budget manageable. But sometimes you just want to see the damn monster, and I want my monsters like this.

 

Behold The Giant Claw: A massive and indestructible flying chicken with the head of a vulture, a beak lined with rows of T-Rex teeth, and a bitchin’ Mohawk to boot. This one fits solidly into that 1950’s commie-hating, nuclear-annihilation-shit-scared, national-security-at-all-cost zeitgeist that gave us wonderful films like Them! and The Thing From Another World.

 

You’re obviously in this one for the ugly puppet, but television vet Jeff Morrow and female lead Mora Corday dabble in some genuinely clever and romantic back-and-forth dialogue that is much better than the usual filler these types of flicks tend to have between action scenes.

 

Behold the trailer!

 

 

And the entire thang for the craven and brave!

 

 

Until next week, gang… Stay creepy.

 

 


Top Holdout Candidates Other Than DeAndre Hopkins

Written by :
Published on : July 31, 2016

 

 

Yesterday, Pro Bowl wide receiver, DeAndre Hopkins, failed to report Houston Texans training camp with the purpose of holding out for a better contract. He (rightfully) wants to be paid in a manner commensurate with his contributions to the team and says that he will not return until a new contract has been worked out. At 24, he became the centerpiece of an otherwise lackluster Texans’ offense, piling up 111 catches for 1,521 total yards, good for third-best in the NFL. Hopkins was the only bright spot on an offensive unit that saw four different quarterbacks take the field, and he became the first player to ever have 100 yards receiving from those four different QBs.

 

 DeAndre just wants to get paid his fair share.

 

For someone who is as important to the offense as he is, the $1 million base salary that he is earning under his current contract for the 2016 season means that he is grossly underpaid. In a field of work where tomorrow is never guaranteed (like the contracts) and the future is never certain, NFL players must maximize their value when they have the opportunity. DeAndre Hopkins realizes that there might not ever be another chance to get paid like he can right now so he is gambling on himself and hoping that the team realizes how important he is.

 

The DeAndre Hopkins situation got me thinking about which other players are being way underpaid in the league right now. Here are my top candidates to be the next to holdout for a new contract. Maybe it won’t happen until next year, but these guys are definitely being underpaid, or at least they think they are.

 

Derek Carr

This is the big one. Derek Carr is one of the best young QB talents in the league and he is making a laughable amount of money for someone who is future of the franchise and made a Pro Bowl last season. His $733,346 base salary is less than guys like Kyle Van Noy, Shaun Draughn, and Bishop Sankey. The added $741,691 in bonuses helps a little, but the fact is that he is far underpaid compared to other quarterbacks who have a similar level of talent. There’s no doubt that the Raiders will pay him his due eventually, but we all know how volatile of an environment the NFL is for its players and their worth. He might be best served to holdout now and try to get that paper.

 

 The Raiders have their QB of the future. Now it’s time to pay him like it.

 

Michael Bennett

Michael Bennett has been complaining about his current contract situation for a minute now. In his opinion he is better than the 26th best defensive end in the NFL, which is where his current base salary is on the spectrum of DE contracts. Bennett hinted at the idea of a holdout earlier this offseason for the second year in a row, but he also showed up to training camp this weekend, so it seems like he might not really have the stomach to go through with it. Either way, if you talk about the idea of holding out, then there is at least a chance that you’d do it. That’s why Michael Bennett made it on this list.

 

 Michael Bennett has been unhappy about his contract for a while. And he’s been taking it out on opposing QBs.

 

David Johnson

This dude came out of nowhere for the Arizona Cardinals and finished his rookie campaign last season with 13 total touchdowns, a rookie record for the NFL’s oldest franchise. From the time he entered the starting lineup in week 13 until the end of the season, no other player in the league averaged more yards from scrimmage per game than Johnson’s 131.7. He is just as dangerous in the pass game as in the run game and his playmaking ability means that he will quickly silence doubters this coming season and hang on to the starting role over Andre Ellington and Chris Johnson. And he is making peanuts compared to other star running backs. The fact that the Cardinals were able to snag him in the third round of last year’s draft means that he will make an average of just $729,843 a season until he is an unrestricted free agent in 2019. That won’t happen. Look for David Johnson to light the world afire once more this season and get himself a fat new contract next offseason.

 

 David Johnson is the most electrifying player on the Cardinals offense.

 

Khalil Mack

The Oakland Raiders have a pretty good problem on their hands. They have two young stars who they are underpaying right now. That means they are getting a ton of value for their dollar in two very important positions. Khalil Mack was selected to the Pro Bowl last year and holds the Raiders franchise record for sacks in a game (5) against the Broncos. Mack’s average of $5.1 million per year ranks 31st among outside linebackers and he won’t be a free agent until 2018. With the physical demands of playing outside linebackers and heightened injury risk that comes with playing such a violent position, it would not be at all surprising to see Khalil Mack holdout for a new contract next offseason if he plays as well this year as he did last. The Raiders would be smart to start preparing for the idea of having to pay both Derek Carr and Khalil Mack very soon.

 

 The kind of guy who can give you 5 sacks in one game is the kind of guy you pay to keep around.

 

Who do you think is a serious candidate to holdout for a new contract in the near future? Leave your answer in the comments below or tweet us @ScoreBored_SBS.

 


Los Angeles Belongs to the Rams

Written by :
Published on : January 30, 2016

 

 

When I awoke from my slumber at the crack of noon yesterday, it seemed as though the Rams and Chargers were destined to share Los Angeles for the foreseeable future. The news was that the two teams had worked out a deal for the Chargers to move to Inglewood next year and share the brand new, state of the art mega-stadium complex that is being built on the site of the once majestic Hollywood Park Racetrack. This seemed like the right move in order for the Chargers to remain relevant in Southern California.

 

As Friday wore on, news changed a bit. Turns out the Chargers agreed to terms and have the option to move into the new stadium, but will remain in San Diego in 2016 and continue to try and get a new stadium built there. If they can’t come to an agreement on a getting a new home in San Diego this year, they will likely move to Inglewood next year, if for no other reason than to keep the Raiders out of Southern California. This makes sense because if the Raiders and Rams are both in LA, the Chargers position in SoCal becomes much less appealing. With the already well established Raiders fanbase in town, they will have gone from being the only kid on the block to third-fiddle. That will make it a lot harder to fill up any NFL sized stadium.

 

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                                                Artist rendering of the new Stadium in Inglewood

 

The City of San Diego doesn’t seem to be in much of a hurry to help finance a new stadium which leads me to believe that the team will probably end up in Los Angeles regardless. But by the time the team gets here it may be too late. LA has been desperate for a football team for a while now and once the Rams arrive the bandwagon will fill up quickly. If the Chargers were to come up north this year, the same time as the Rams, that would give Los Angelenos another initial option for football fandom, and a good amount of people would jump on the Chargers wagon.

 

With an entire year alone in the City of Angeles, the Rams have a chance to snatch up the Lions’ share of football fans, and no matter who arrives for the 2017 season. The Raiders at least have a history here and tons of devoted fans around the world, but the poor Chargers will be the Clippers no matter what. Simply put, by the time they get here the Rams will own this town. The Rams always made the most sense to come to LA because this was their city for fifty years and I anticipate the city getting behind them in full force. With one year as the only show in town they will have a stranglehold on pro football, and that spells bad news for anyone else who may come after. Sorry Chargers, but you missed your chance to gain a share of the market and now Los Angeles belongs to the Rams.

 

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 17

Written by :
Published on : January 2, 2016

 

 

Well folks, it’s been an incredible year making picks for the all the SBS staff. We’re a bunch of smart motherfuckers. Though there was a heated competition and I am currently a distant second, I will make my boldest prediction yet: I will become the ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks Champion. In fact, here is an excerpt of my acceptance speech:

 

 

But the real point here is more exposé than anything. What the hell got into SBS Editor and possible PED user Bruno? Here we are in a two-man race between myself and Ryan, comfortable on our laurels, when all of a sudden this dude Bruno gets the Shining and mounts a ridiculous comeback. In the last five weeks he’s been among the top two in picks, including blowing us all (out of the water) this past week. Sick of it. Someone needs to dig up the dirt.

 

Moving on, the trickiest game on the slate this week for me to pick was the Cardinals – Seahawks matchup, mainly because they’re both damn good.  The game is in Arizona, but there’s very little at stake for the Cards, already having won the NFC west, while Seattle and Russell Wilson were straight up Megachurching everyone in their path before that unfortunate Rams loss (yes, when it applies to Russell Wilson on the football field, I believe “Megachurch” can be used as a verb). That loss makes this game critical for the Seabirds, not so much for the Sandbirds, so I went with Seattle.

 

That about does it for the ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks for this year.  Thanks so much to the readers, we sincerely hope that you made money gambling illegally, using our tried-and-true methods of nonsense.  Here’s to a great end of the NFL season, playoffs, Super Bowl, and hopefully a Roger Goodell Satan-worshipping scandal in the off-season.

 

My New Year’s resolution for 2016:

 

 

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ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 15

Written by :
Published on : December 17, 2015

 

Here we sit on the precipice of week 15. The ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks are almost done for the season and what a fun ride it has been. At least for Ryan and Antoine, who are the only ones who have had a legit shot at the title since the beginning of the year. With 3 weeks of picks left, it’s not likely that Ryan is going to be unseated from the top spot. I suppose he could have a couple of bad weeks and I could miraculously catch up, but this guy just seems to know how to pick winners. He’s a madman who can’t be stopped, and he should probably start gambling on sports.

 

But we can talk about Ryan’s future gambling addiction some other time, right now let’s look at this exciting slate of games. Actually the only game that really looks exciting to me is Panthers at Giants. Mostly because these last fews Panthers games are going to be really suspenseful as they try to go undefeated, but also because it seems like the Giants are finally starting to put it together. Some of that bad luck has turned into late season good luck with that win over the Dolphins last week and they sit in a 3-way tie for the top spot in the abysmal NFC East.

 

There’s also a bunch of garbage matchups, either between good teams who will crush their bad opponents ( Titans @ Patriots, Browns @ Seahawks), or between two bad teams ( Dolphins @ Chargers, Lions @ Saints.) Either way, those will all be hard games to watch, but we’ll watch ’em anyways, because it’s football. And we love football!

 

On to the picks…..

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ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 14

Written by :
Published on : December 10, 2015

 

Hi, I’m Sandy, but no, I’m not a female. However, I am the staff writer that follows the NFL the least avidly despite working at NFL Red Zone last season (HINT: there’s a reason they wouldn’t have me back this year….).

 

So, it’s Week 14 and I couldn’t be happier that it’s almost the postseason for a litany of reasons. What makes me the happiest about entering the third trimester of the 2015-16 NFL season’s pregnancy is that SportsCenter will soon reach that sweet spot of the year in February where they’re basically only showing NBA highlights, and in my world NBA reigns supreme. The next best reason to be happy the regular season is almost over: Super Bowl parties. I do kind of love football, but my favorite part of football is easily the eating that goes along with it. Plus, playoff games are way better in general, but also because my team, the Detroit Lions, won’t be able to break my heart and open my mind to the possibility of NFL conspiracy theories against The D. Their season will simply be over. Football in the snow is cool too.

 

Granted I’m the least knowledgable writer for SBS regarding football, I’ve done pretty well predicting winners this season. As for this week, I predict the NFL to beat the film Concussion on account of Will Smith trying out a weird accent. When Will Smith is kicking ass in action movies, we all win. The Lions might lose the rest of their games, or least the ones they should win, but the NFL will always be undefeated against concussions, but will the Panthers?

Here are the ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks for Week 14:

 

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ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 12

Written by :
Published on : November 25, 2015

 

Thursday is Thanksgiving, the holiday that football owns the same way that Bill Murray owns Groundhog Day. It’s inescapable. If you’re not watching it on TV or playing it in the front yard, then you’re probably hiding in the kitchen filling up on hors d’oeuvres and making small talk with your boring cousin. Good luck with that. I’ll see you at halftime.

 

Meanwhile, these ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks remains a tight race. Ryan and Antoine still lead the pack. I find myself squarely in the middle —  ten points away from both highest and lowest record. Oh, and Alex and Mike both have the same stats (95-65). Not bad? Not good enough. All it takes it one good/bad week to change everything.

 

I’m not much for trash talk, so I’m going the opposite route this week — passive aggressive kindness. Enjoy your Thanksgiving, SBS staffers, and good luck with this week’s picks. Don’t choke.

 

Week 12

 

 

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 11

Written by :
Published on : November 19, 2015

 

Hello out there everyone,

It’s been since week 1 that I’ve written the intro to these ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks, and what a rollercoaster of a ride it has been. I spent the first few weeks in the basement of the standings but since then, I’ve really turned things around. I’ve had a 1st or 2nd place record for the past 4 weeks and I’m clawing my way back to relevance. Sure, I’m still 11 correct picks behind Antoine and Ryan but if they have just a couple more stinkers like last week then I’ll be right in the thick of it. I think I can, I think I can…

 

There are a few interesting trends in the way the SBS Staff picked this week’s slate of games. For instance, the Jaguars are the consensus winner over the Titans, as if the Jags are some sort of standard of excellence nowadays (or maybe the Titans are just THAT bad). Also, the Lions seems to have restored faith amongst quite a few of us here and as a lifelong Lions fan, that is the perfect time for them to let everyone down. Besides that, everyone is picking the Patriots and Panthers to win their respective games and remain the last two undefeated teams. How great would it be for both of them to lose? Anyways let’s get to the picks.

 

Week 11

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

 

 

 

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 8

Written by :
Published on : October 28, 2015

 

I may be the only football illiterate person on the staff. My wisdom for the weekly NFL Staff Picks is based on which place I’d rather live in, and random tidbits I pick up by listening to announcers.

 

Recently, I heard football spectators commenting on the Seahawks. They argued that they are not offensively ready to go on a winning streak following the royal beating they gave to the 49ers last week. My pick for the Seahawks was justified by Pete Carroll’s trajectory in USC football’s glory years. Trojans stick by each other, which is why I was rooting for him, not the team.

 

Anyway, I was struck by a comment in an email from Alex; “football is stupid.” While making my choices for the week 8 picks, certain thoughts came to mind: I barely watch NFL games, but my picks are doing alright; average at worst and better than I expected. Considering my success in making picks for the first time ever, I’ll wait to till the end of the season to confirm or deny if football is stupid.

 

 

Week 8

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

 

 


SBS NFL Picks Against the Spread: Week 7

Written by :
Published on : October 21, 2015

 

This things has gone totally off the rails. My NFL Picks Against the Spread got absolutely destroyed last week and I put up an embarrassing record of 4-9-1. There’s not a whole lot I have to say for myself and I’m going to need a stellar week if I’m to have any hope of getting even here. I’ve been just better than a coin flip up until now, but there’s not really any excuse for what happened. I had a bad week. Simple as that. But like any degenerate gambler, I know I can get it together this week! I can’t lose, so let’s take the plunge!

 

Winning picks in italics

 

Seahawks (-6) at 49ers: 49ers

Seahawks haven’t looked good enough to convince me that they win by more than a field goal. 49ers have looked pretty decent at home though so that’s my pick.

 

Bills (-5.5) at Jaguars (in London): Bills

This isn’t truly a road game for the Bills since it is being played in London and I don’t think the Jaguars are very good right now. I want to believe they can start to put it together but I think the Bills will just be too much to handle.

 

Browns at Rams (-5.5): Browns

I think the Rams will probably eek this out at home but the Browns have been pretty competitive of late. Look for this one to go the Rams’ way late but probably by a field goal or less.

 

Chiefs at Steelers (-2): Steelers

The Chiefs just haven’t been any good this season and their offense is in serious trouble without Jamaal Charles on the field. The Steelers beat a quality opponent last week in the Cardinals, despite having to roll with Landry Jones at QB after Mike Vick (who hasn’t exactly been stellar) got hurt. Le’Veon Bell and the Steelers receivers will be covering the spread, no matter who is at QB.

 

Texans at Dolphins (-4.5): Texans

Arian Foster looks to be getting back into game shape, and that makes all the difference for this Texans team. Between him and DeAndre Hopkins, who is tearing it up right now, this team could actually make a run to win the very bad AFC South. On the backs of those two, the Texans will beat the Dolphins.

 

Jets at Patriots (-9): Patriots

Last week my rule of taking the Patriots and Packers, no matter what the spread is, backfired on me. This one could be just as dangerous because the Jets have looked pretty strong, but isn’t this the perfect time for the Jets to trip over themselves? I see them going into Foxborough and getting a thorough beating at the hand of (arguably) the best team in the league.

 

Vikings (-2.5) at Lions: Lions

This one is also dangerous but as a rule, I don’t really like to pick the road team in a division game. The Lions are still pretty bad when you consider that it took overtime for them to beat the piss-poor Bears. I’m thinking they get Ngata back this week and take a little revenge for their mistake filled loss to the Vikings in week 2.

 

Falcons (-4) at Titans: Falcons

The Falcons lost their bid for an undefeated season last week in New Orleans but they are going to get back on track this week in Tennessee. Devonta Freeman is going to run all over the Titans and you can bet that Julio Jones will get in on the action too.

 

Buccaneers at Redskins (-3.5): Redskins

The Buccaneers running game might give them a chance in this one but I just don’t see Jameis Winston being successful in this road matchup. He has played mistake-prone football all year and I think the pressure of heading up north to play the ‘Skins will be too much. A few too many interceptions means that Washington covers the spread.

 

Saints at Colts (-5): Colts

Andrew Luck looked better this past week but he was still uncharacteristically inaccurate at times. One has to wonder if that injury is still bothering him but another week might help with that. If the Colts don’t get it together real soon, and cut out the bullshit trick plays, then they will be looking for a new head coach very soon. Pagano should just go out and coach his team to a win against a lesser opponent.

 

Raiders at Chargers (-4): Chargers

I’m almost tempted to pick the Raiders in this situation, but I’m not going to…. Remember that whole thing about division games on the road? Yeah, that applies here too. Phillip Rivers and Keenan Allen will win this one if they can avoid the ageless wonder, Charles Woodson.

 

Cowboys at Giants (-3.5): Giants

The Cowboys are playing a division game on the road. And they’re starting Matt Cassel at quarterback! They might as well just fast forward to next week. I don’t care that the Giants just got blown out by the Eagles, they will cover here.

 

Eagles at Panthers (-2.5): Panthers

The Panthers, and especially Cam Newton, are looking very good right about now. They will get the Eagles at home and are bound to capitalize on some Sam Bradford mistakes and keep the unbeaten streak going for one more week.

 

Ravens at Cardinals (-7.5): Cardinals

The Ravens are really bad and I’m regretting not including them in the NFL Graveyard article that I released last week. The Cardinals slipped up recently but will get back on track at home. Look for them to put up a ton of points and cover the spread.

 

 

Bears, Bengals, Broncos and Packers: Bye week.

 


 

 

Last week’s record: 4-9-1

 

Season record: 42-46-3

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 6

Written by :
Published on : October 14, 2015

 

Thanks for reading ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 6. So, one thing they don’t tell you when you begin the process of turning into a fifty-foot tall giant made of diamond, is how strongly such a transformation can affect those around you. For example, did you know that people sometimes resent perfect geniuses like myself who make incredibly insightful NFL picks each week? To quote SBS Co-Founder and bearded maniac, Bruno Tysh: “Why has God cursed me with such strength?”

 

This week, the SBS staff didn’t have our best showing, but we were still strong in making heady picks. Mike tied for the lead with that Bruno dude, and yours truly.  As unquestionable as my brilliant method is, the truth behind the veil is perhaps more deceptive than one might think.  Simply stated: my main strategy is to avoid feeling stupid after making a pick.  The best example of this I can think of came a few weeks ago, when the Texans played the Bucs. My logic in picking Houston? Boy, would I have felt like an idiot picking a rookie quarterback, who’s historically struggled against pressure, on the road, against the mythological creature known as J.J. Watt.  It doesn’t take a genius to make that pick, but it doesn’t hurt that I am one.

 

Week 6

Continue reading


SBS NFL Picks Against the Spread: Week 6

Written by :
Published on : October 14, 2015

 

Now we’re cooking with gas! For the second week in a row I posted a winning record, coming in at 8-5-1. I’m starting to get a good feel for the teams and I’m poised to increase my overall win percentage this week. The cream of the crop in the NFL is beginning to separate themselves from everyone else and that makes my life much easier. Until further notice I will be picking the Patriots and Packers to win no matter where they are or what the spread is (luckily they don’t play each other), and I suggest you do too. Here are the rest of the SBS NFL Picks Against the Spread for week 6.

 

Winning picks in italics.

 

Falcons (-3) at Saints: Atlanta

I normally don’t like to pick the road team in a division game, but the Saints aren’t any good. The Falcons on the other hand are one of the few undefeated teams. Atlanta has been beating people in the trenches on both sides of the ball and as a result they have been running the ball all over people. Falcons win big.

 

Broncos (-4.5) at Browns: Denver

The Broncos have won all all three of their road games by larger margins than this 4.5 point spread, and against arguably better competition. Their defense is going to eat up the Browns and you can bet that the offense will do enough to cover in this one.

 

Bengals (-3.5) at Bills: Bengals

This is a tricky but I think the Bengals have proven that they are a much better team than the Bills. Add to that the fact that the Bills will be without Tyrod Taylor, LeSean McCoy, and possibly Sammy Watkins, and I could see them getting shut out. The Bills defense will keep it close for a bit but they won’t be able to keep up with what has been a very, very good Bengals squad.

 

Chiefs at Vikings (-3.5): Vikings

The Chiefs were in trouble before Jamaal Charles went down for the year with a torn ACL. Now that their best player is gone, I think things could start to get real ugly in Kansas City. I see Teddy and Adrian going wild over a Chiefs defense that has been pretty disappointing this season. Vikes cover at home.

 

Texans (-1) at Jaguars: Jaguars

A battle of two bad teams means that home field will probably determine the winner. The Texans have the better defense and the Jags have actually looked pretty decent on offense. This one could go either way but I see Blake Bortles avoiding J.J. Watt for long enough to work some magic and win at home.

 

Bears at Lions (-3): Lions

These two teams are even worse than the previous two. I’m going Lions here only because they have got to win at some point right? I’m just assuming they will do it by a touchdown.

 

Redskins at Jets (-6): Redskins

The Jets are going to win this one at home but I don’t think it will be by that much. The Redskins have been bad but their defense ranks in the top half of the league. For that reason I think they will keep it close and cover the spread.

 

Cardinals (-3) at Steelers: Cardinals

How about them Cardinals, eh? Despite having a loss against the Rams at home, they deserve to be in the conversation for best team in the league, along with the Patriots and Packers. Their offense is electric, with Carson Palmer looking 10 years younger, and the defense is perhaps the most opportunistic bunch in football. The Steelers will probably still have Mike Vick throwing the ball. For these reasons, the Cardinals cover and win big.

 

Dolphins at Titans (-2.5):  Titans

To be honest this one could go either way. The Titans have shown just enough for me to believe that they cover at home.

 

Panthers at Seahawks (-7): Panthers

Have the oddsmakers watched the Seahawks this season? In all reality they should be 1-4 but they got bailed out by the refs in Detroit a few weeks back. I’m not sure they win this one straight up, let alone by 7. Take the Panthers.

 

Chargers at Packers (-10): Packers

Always take the Packers.

 

Ravens (-2.5) at 49ers: 49ers

There’s a lot of games between bad teams this week and this is another one of ’em. The fact that they are at home, along with Carlos Hyde’s work on the ground will make the difference for the 49ers.

 

Patriots (-8) at Colts: Patriots

See the explanation for picking the Packers above.

 

Giants at Eagles (-3.5): Giants

I have a feeling that the Giants will be winning in this game late in the 4th quarter and then will find a way to lose by a slim margin. Because of that I choose Giants because they will lose, but only by 2 points.

 

Cowboys, Raiders, Buccaneers, Rams: All on their bye week

 

 


 

 

 

Last week’s record: 8-5-1

 

Season Record: 38-37-2

 

 

 


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