The Sports Oscars

Written by :
Published on : March 30, 2017



Award season has come and gone. And in honor of the recent 89th Academy Awards, ScoreBoredSports would like to present the 1st annual Sports Oscars. Just what America needs, another award show! Press your tux and fill your flask because it’s time to walk the red carpet and hand out some gold statues to the year’s best sports performances. And to all the winners, don’t forget to thank your agent and your mom. Now, let’s get this show on the road. The first category is:


Best Supporting Actor

Draymond Green of the Golden State Warriors. After Kevin Durant came to town, Dray’s role on the team shifted. He no longer was needed to score the ball but instead had to become the defensive leader and do all the small things that help win games. No better example than back in February, when Green had the most unconventional of Triple Doubles. With only 4 points, he also tallied 12 rebounds, 10 assists and 10 steals (along with 5 blocks).



Bryce Harper of the Washington Nationals. This was a tough one but Bryce’s under-eye black takes the cake. It’s kind of looks like Harper is the 5th member of Kiss mixed with a little Hawk and Animal from the Legion of Doom (WWF/WWE). I think more pros should follow the face paint lead. It’s a great way to show off some personality and it just washes off when you’re done.


Washington Nationals v St Louis Cardinals - Game Two


Best Editing

The New England Patriots. These guys always seem to make the perfect roster moves They add players you think are only okay and then they preform insanely well and they cut talent you think is irreplaceable only to see them underperform with their new team. Perfect example: Lions cut ties with LB Kyle Van Noy after him not working out in Detroit. They trade him to New England. Cut to Van Noy flying around being one of the difference makers for the Pats, in the Super Bowl.


Best Original Screenplay

Jaromir Jagr of the Florida Panthers. The dude is 45-years-old and writing his own story where only he knows the ending. The man has 763 career goals, that’s good for third all-time behind Howe and Gretzky. Jagr has more points over the age of 40 than even Howe. So he is the best older hockey player we have ever seen. He loves to play and has no plans of stopping. I hope this story has a few more chapters.


Costume Design

The University of Michigan Men’s Basketball team. On their way to D.C. for the Big Ten tournament, their plane was forced to abort takeoff and then roughly skid off the runway. The Wolverines barely made it to the game but their luggage with their uniforms were still stuck on the plane. U of M channeled their inner Tim Gunn and had to ‘make it work’ because they rocked their practice jerseys, looked dope and won the game.



Documentary Feature

This is the only award that both SBS and the real Oscars agree on. We both have O.J.: Made in America as the winner for best doc. It’s superbly well-made and very captivating. You should check it out. And it’s not just for sports or murder fans. It fun for the whole family.


Best Score

Lionel Messi of Barcelona. Messi is a wizard with the ball in space but he is just as lethal when it comes to free kicks. This zinger comes from a stretch of 3 games where Messi had a free kick goal in each. That’s just insane. Click HERE to watch the clip and be amazed.


Best Actress

Serena Williams. Her huge win at the Australian Open gives her 39 total titles (singles, doubles, mixed doubles) in tennis. If this category is about incredible individual effort, than I can think of no one more accomplished than Serena. She is a joy to watch and has elevated the entire sport of tennis. Not just the women’s game. Serena Williams is a champion.



Best Director

Joe Maddon, skipper of the Chicago Cubs has to win this one. His arrival seemed liked the real turning point for this franchise. From his first weeks in Wrigley, it seemed liked things were different. Maddon directed the Cubs to their first World Series win in a jabillion years and for that he wins the award.


Best Picture

Maybe my Michigan bias is showing but the image is truly stunning and it was a huge moment/game for two teams hunting the NFL playoffs. I really wanted to be cool and just say “presented without comment” but that’s totally a comment. And I’m way better than that.



That’s going to do it for the first ever sports Oscars. List your favorite player or performance in the comments below. Not bad for our first award show. At least we never called the wrong winner.





WWSHD: What Would Steve Harvey Do?

Written by :
Published on : December 23, 2015



This week, Comedian/Author Steve Harvey may have had the most horrendous gaffe in the history of live television. During a live recording of the Miss Universe Pageant, Harvey announced Ariadna Gutierrez of Colombia the winner of the contest. However, Harvey read the card incorrectly and had regrettably made a mistake. He then went on to announce the REAL winner, Miss Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach of the Philippines. As you can imagine social media has taken Harvey to task in memes and Vines.



Although the world can be unforgiving, I am one to say give the man a break! It was a honest mistake that could happen to anyone. The situation got me thinking: what if Steve Harvey was involved in some of sports’ most controversial moments? What would Steve Harvey do?



1. University of Michigan Power Forward Chris Webber calls timeout (1993). Referee Steve Harvey grants team a timeout even though they don’t have any.

weber timeout


In this scenario, referee Harvey has the authority to force a timeout. This would be to the dismay of Duke University coach Mike Krzyzewski and his evil empire. The Wolverines would go on to win the championship and be cemented as one of the best basketball teams ever. The NCAA sanctions would still ban the Fab 5 from being affiliated with the school. However, maybe the relationship of the Fab 5 would remain intact 20 years later. A championship for the Wolverines would have changed the trajectory of all the careers of those famous players.


2. Last season playoff (2015) contest between the Dallas Cowboys and Green Bay Packers. Dez Bryant goes up for catch on 4th down. Referee Steve Harvey rules the catch complete.


Bryant makes the catch and the Cowboys are in scoring position to win the game. A playoff game! Harvey has single-handedly changed the fortunes of “America’s Team.” The Cowboys go on to face the Seattle Seahawks as a favorite. From there they go on to face New England Patriots and with properly inflated balls, Tom Brady stands no chance against Dem Boys. The first championship for the Cowboys since Deion Sanders Jheri curl was still full of Soul Glo.


3. Ronda Rousey is KO’d in the second round by Holly Holm. Steve Harvey declares Rousey the winner by disqualification.


Holm is shaking hands and kissing babies until she hears the announcement. Rousey is still on the ground asking the referee “Why won’t you play duck duck goose with me?” In a sudden rage, Holm gives Harvey a roundhouse kick to the chin which forces his mustache into his nostrils. Meanwhile, Rousey is unaware that she has won. Instead, she is preoccupied making snow angels with her blood on the mat. Good work Steve.


4. Honorable Judge Harvey receives the ruling from the jury but instead finds O.J. Simpson guilty of first degree murder (1995).


The case had the country clearly divided. Whether it was race or socioeconomic status that caused the divide, there was tension with the pending outcome. The murders were done in such a vile and malicious fashion. If O.J. Simpson had been convicted then maybe it would have curtailed some of the heinous crimes committed by other athletes. Simpson getting away with murder (in some people’s eyes) set a poor precedent that if you hire a revered attorney then you can possibly evade the law.


5. Miami Hurricanes are on the cusp on winning a National Championship in 2003. Ohio State is near the goal line. It’s 4th and 3 and Buckeye QB Craig Krenzel passes into the end zone. The pass is incomplete. The game is over and the Hurricanes win their 35th straight game and second consecutive national championship.


Lead referee Harvey never throws a pass interference flag on cornerback Glenn Sharpe. This changes the direction of both franchises as Hurricane coach Larry Coker gets an extended stay with the program. Meanwhile, Buckeye coach Jim Tressel will have to reassess his program and answer to critics that deem him an underachiever. Harvey leaves the stadium unscathed and the Hurricane fans are forever indebted to him.



That’s the world according to Steve. Now let’s all watch some Family Feud then go suit shopping.




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