Angelino in the Outfield (Episode IV: Whose Number Should Every NL Team Retire Next?)

Written by :
Published on : March 22, 2016


During the upcoming 2016 season, Ken Griffey Jr., Pete Rose, Mike Piazza and Wade Boggs will have their numbers retired by the Mariners, Reds, Mets and Red Sox, respectively. And that got me thinking about which players should be next in line for those honors. So sit back, relax and enjoy while I go through all 30 teams and tell you who’s the most deserving. First, let’s do the National League.



 Time to retire #25


Retired Numbers: Warren Spahn, Eddie Mathews, Hank Aaron, Phil Niekro, Dale Murphy, Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine, Bobby Cox, John Smoltz, Chipper Jones.
The easy answer would be Andruw Jones. But once upon a time the Atlanta Braves used to be known as the Boston Beaneaters and their star pitcher was Kid Nichols, who was the youngest pitcher ever to win 300 games. Granted, I’m sure there’s not a lot of love out there for a guy who retired 110 years ago. But Warren Spahn never pitched in Atlanta either. And Eddie Mathews only played one season there. I could go on, but I feel you judging me. Fine. Have it your way. It’s Andruw Jones.



Guess it’s gota be him


Retired Numbers: Hank Aaron, Rollie Fingers, Robin Yount, Paul Molitor, Bud Selig.
You leave me no choice, Brewers. It’s Ryan Braun. I don’t want it to be, but I can’t say it’s Ben Sheets or Cecil Cooper or Teddy Higuera. So either I close my eyes and pretend I don’t know about the PED issues or how the guy seems like a grade A asshole… or I can just wait until somebody like Orlando Arcia gets called up and becomes the shit. So I guess we wait.



 He is a machine.


Retired Numbers: Stan Musial, Dizzy Dean, Bob Gibson, Lou Brock, August Busch Jr., Ken Boyer, Red Schoendienst, Enos Slaughter, Ozzie Smith, Bruce Sutter, Whitey Herzog, Tony La Russa, Rogers Hornsby.
It’s Albert Pujols. Did you think it wouldn’t be Albert Pujols? It seems like the Cardinals retire everybody’s number, so I’m kinda surprised they’ve never done Ted Simmons or Jim Edmonds or Ray Lankford or Ducky fucking Medwick. And maybe they’re coming. But Pujols was a monster in St. Louis and they gotta hang up #5. Until then, the other obvious answer is Cool Papa Bell of the St. Louis Stars. Everyone who has a statue outside Busch Stadium also has their number retired inside the stadium except George Sisler (who played for the St. Louis Browns, who are now the Baltimore Orioles) and Cool Papa. Let him in, guys.



 Make it Dawson


Retired Numbers: Ernie Banks, Billy Williams, Ron Santo, Ryne Sandberg, Greg Maddux, Fergie Jenkins.
Cap Anson was a racist piece of garbage and basically the entire reason for baseball’s color line that lasted until Jackie Robinson. So it can’t be him. Ever. And I’m not sure Cubs fans would take kindly to “Sammy Sosa Appreciation Day” yet either. And the Cubs have no real sense of history from 1909 until 1969. So you’d get a lot of confused shrugs for Stan Hack or Gabby Hartnett. And anything involving ‘Tinker to Evers to Chance’ or Three Finger Brown reminds everyone of the Year That Shall Not Be Named. So your best bet here is honestly Andre Dawson or Mark Grace. The Nationals un-retired Dawson’s Expos number when the franchise moved to Washington. And I’m sure the Cubs would love to retire anything ’08 related, if you know what I mean. For Grace, just Google ‘Mark Grace slumpbuster’ to know why he’s a legendary figure on the broey North Side of Chicago. By the way, what if the only way the Curse of the Billy Goat can be broken is if Mark Grace finds Steve Bartman and/or some relative of Billy Sianis and has to sex with the fattest woman they know? Just putting that out there as the potential plot of Field of Dreams 2.



 Why do you hate Curt Schilling?


Retired Numbers: Luis Gonzalez, Randy Johnson.
So everybody must really hate Curt Schilling, huh? They could try to say that Gonzalez is their best position player in their short history and the Big Unit is their best pitcher. But c’mon. 2001. So unless you can sell me on Brandon Webb or waiting for Paul Goldschmidt, I just assume everyone there hates Schilling. Dude was co-MVP of the 2001 World Series. Why do you hate Curt Schilling???



How is #34 not retired yet?


Retired Numbers: Sandy Koufax, Roy Campanella, Jackie Robinson, Walter Alston, Jim Gilliam, Duke Snider, Pee Wee Reese, Don Drysdale, Tommy Lasorda, Don Sutton.
The Dodgers have never officially retired Fernando Valenzuela’s number, although his #34 has been out of circulation since his retirement. I think it’s about time. I mean, have you ever been to Dodger Stadium? I’d say about 1/3 of the people there are rocking El Toro’s jersey. And way more people would care about that than if it were say, Zack Wheat or Dazzy Vance, even though they were better players. Oh, and also there’s the whole history of Chavez Ravine and the Dodgers fucking owing him. And I don’t even need to talk about Clayton Kershaw or the rest of the 1988 team. You give that to Fernando.



 Will they ever forgive Barry?


Retired Numbers: Carl Hubbell, Mel Ott, Willie Mays, Willie McCovey, Juan Marichal, Bill Terry, Orlando Cepeda, Gaylord Perry, Monte Irvin, Christy Mathewson, John McGraw.
Call me crazy, but I have this weird suspicion that it’s not going to be Barry Bonds any time soon. Even though he’s the best player in Major League history to not have his number retired by anybody. And I also don’t think there’d be much support for old timers like Roger Connor or George Davis. Or Travis Jackson and Ross Youngs, even though they’re both in the Hall of Fame and played their entire career with the Giants. So either the collective members of the even-year’d Giants teams of this decade retire (and that means Buster Posey, Pablo Sandoval, Matt Cain, Tim Lincecum and Madison Bumgarner) or we forgive and embrace Barry. You know, whichever comes first.



 Maybe Stanton, I guess?


Retired Numbers: Nobody.
Wow. I guess I agree with the Marlins, since the best player in their franchise history is probably Hanley Ramirez. And Andre Dawson and Mike Piazza are the only Hall of Famers to ever play there. You know, famous Marlin, Mike Piazza. So unless they go with Livan Hernandez from the 1997 team or Josh Beckett from the 2003 team, I guess they could honor Ichiro, should he get his 3000th hit with Miami. Or they could just wait for Giancarlo Stanton to keep being awesome when he’s not hurt. But this is a weird situation for them. This team has two World Series trophies and absolutely zero history.



 Do it for the Straw!


Retired Numbers: Casey Stengel, Gil Hodges, Tom Seaver, Mike Piazza.
Unofficially, the Mets have also retired the numbers of Gary Carter and Willie Mays. And I’m assuming they’ll eventually make those official. And they’ll probably eventually honor David Wright at some point as well. But you have no idea how bad I wish they’d do something for Dwight Gooden and Darryl Strawberry. I know, I know. But it’s not even that big of a stretch. Who’s better than those two guys in the history of the Mets that I haven’t already named? Jose Reyes? Please. The ’86 Mets have a special evil place in my heart and in their noses. I think they deserve to be honored.



 But when will Bryce’s hair get its number retired?


Retired Numbers: Nobody.
When the Expos moved to D.C. in 2005, they un-retired the numbers for Gary Carter, Andre Dawson, Tim Raines and Rusty Staub. So we know we can’t hold out for them or for guys like Steve Rogers, Tim Wallach or Vladimir Guerrero to get honored. But starting in 2005 also means the best player in their franchise history is Ryan Zimmerman. I mean, it will be Bryce Harper. But the Nationals need to take their own lead from outside their stadium (where they have statues of former Senators greats, Walter Johnson and Frank Howard, as well as Homestead Grays great, Josh Gibson) and hook it up inside. Start there. We can talk about Sam Rice and Goose Goslin and Buck Leonard later.



 It’s got to be Peavy


Retired Numbers: Steve Garvey, Randy Jones, Dave Winfield, Tony Gwynn, Trevor Hoffman.
How happy am I that the Padres are using brown uniforms this year? Anyway, this is hard. Kevin Brown was silly in ’98, the last year they went to the World Series. But that was his only year on the team. So it has to be Jake Peavy. I mean, I don’t want it to be Jake Peavy. But I won’t condone any celebration of Andy Benes.



 It should be Chase Utley


Retired Numbers: Robin Roberts, Richie Ashburn, Steve Carlton, Mike Schmidt, Jim Bunning, Pete Alexander, Chuck Klein.
They can’t slap an old timers thing next to Pete Alexander and Chuck Klein for Ed Delahanty or Sherry Magee? Fine. Then they’re going to have to do something for Chase Utley and Jimmy Rollins. If not also Ryan Howard and Chalie Manuel. See, children. There was a time not so long ago when the Philadelphia Phillies didn’t absolutely suck.



 Give Arky his due!


Retired Numbers: Honus Wagner, Billy Meyer, Pie Traynor, Roberto Clemente, Danny Murtaugh, Willie Stargell, Bill Mazeroski, Ralph Kiner, Paul Waner.
Is there any good reason why the Pirates never retired Arky Vaughan’s number? Or Bob Friend’s? Or Max Carey’s? Or Babe Adams’? Or Fred Clarke’s? You know, other than Carey and Adams hating Clarke, and Clarke being bona fide clubhouse poison during the 1926 season. I looked that up. Anyway, the Pirates need to do a better job with honoring their long history. Because the next best pick is Skinny Barry Bonds until Andrew McCutchen stacks more on to his career numbers. Is the world ready to honor Skinny Barry Bonds?



 Bid McPhee!


Retired Numbers: Fred Hutchinson, Johnny Bench, Frank Robinson, Joe Morgan, Ted Kluszewski, Tony Perez, Sparky Anderson, Dave Concepcion, Barry Larkin, Pete Rose.
Bid McPhee! Come on! The guy is in the Hall of Fame after playing his entire career with the Cincinnati Reds. They even ripped off his handle bar mustache for their stupid logo. But somehow, they can’t honor the guy by name inside the ballpark. YOUR LOGO IS A BASEBALL DISGUISED AS BID McPHEE, CINCINNATI! Anyway, after Pete Rose, the only position players for the ’75-76 Big Red Machine to not have their numbers retired are the outfielders – George Foster, Cesar Geronimo and Ken Griffey Sr. And Foster is just as good a choice as anyone else. Except Big McPhee. They’re seriously killing me the with no Bid McPhee.



What exactly are they waiting for?


Retired Numbers: Todd Helton.
I don’t know what they’re waiting for with Larry Walker. And it’s not like Troy Tulowitzki is coming back any time soon. So unless they’re also hung up on Walker’s home/road splits, they should pull the trigger or just give it to Ubaldo Jimenez for actually having one decent season pitching in the thin air of Denver in 2010.



That’s it for the NL, stay tuned for the American League!



6 Things I Learned From Watching the Baseball Hall of Fame Coverage

Written by :
Published on : January 9, 2016



Announcement Day for the Baseball Hall of Fame is one of my favorite days of the year. The kid in me loved seeing an impossibly aged, 46-year-old Ken Griffey Jr. – a guy who I idolized and whose posters were all over my bedroom walls growing up – get the official phone call from the Baseball Writers Association of America. I also loved seeing the elation of a guy like Mike Piazza, who had to wait years because of the dark cloud of PED speculation swirling over his head, finally getting in as well. But mostly, like I said in my last blog, the baseball nerd in me loved seeing guys like Bob Costas, Peter Gammons and other baseball writers and experts weigh in on the candidates and spark debates that I could watch all day. And so I did. I watched the pre-pre shows. I watched the four hours of coverage. I watched the post-coverage and the post-post coverage. I watched it all. And here’s what I learned.


1. Everyone But 3 Writers and Tom Seaver Wanted Griffey to Get 100% of the Ballots.


Ken Griffey Jr. was on 100% of the early ballots reported and everybody seemed really giddy about it because that’s never happened before. Not with Willie Mays. Not with Hank Aaron. Not with anybody. The highest vote total ever was actually Tom Seaver’s 98.84% in 1992. But when all of the ballots were finally in, Griffey ended up at 99.30%. Which means that three people didn’t vote for him. There are already all kinds of theories as to why that would be, and witch hunts for who those three people are, but my best guess would be that two people accidentally voted for David Eckstein and one person accidentally voted for Garret Anderson. The math works and so does the logic. Otherwise, holy shit.


Also, one thing that I found really interesting after Griffey and Piazza were elected, there were get-well wishes from Johnny Bench and Tom Seaver. And if you’re thinking, “How nice. Seaver congratulated the guy who surpassed his vote total and Bench congratulated the guy who surpassed him as the greatest hitting catcher of all-time,” then you’d be wrong. Bench congratulated Griffey, who grew up around Bench’s Big Red Machine because of his dad and Seaver congratulated Piazza because they were both on the Mets, decades apart. I mean, they could have said other stuff. But this is all they showed. And it’s way more fun to be catty.


Another fun moment was when they dug up Griffey’s first manager, Jim Lefebvre, to congratulate him. First of all, Lefebvre had no idea how the voting process worked and kept saying, “For this young man to get 100% of Hall of Famers to vote for him is truly a remarkable accomplishment.” And that’s just no. And second of all, Griffey seemed slightly confused and annoyed as to why he had to talk to Lefebvre to begin with. Plus the show’s host, Greg Amsinger, basically had to get a shepherd’s hook to shut Lefebvre up every time he was rambling. It really made no sense to have him there. Jim Lefebvre only managed the Mariners for three years. So Lou Piniella must have been too busy angrily tossing bases around on some Little League diamond or something to be bothered.



2. Griffey is Only the 4th Center Fielder to Be Elected Since Duke Snider.



And that’s counting Robin Yount (who was a shortstop) and Andre Dawson (who, as a Cub’s fan, I consider a right fielder). So really, Ken Griffey Jr. and Kirby Puckett are the only center fielders since Willie, Mickey and the Duke to get elected to the Hall of Fame. That sounded like it had to be wrong, but it isn’t. And the weird thing is, since 1964 (the year Snider retired) nobody else has really been in the conversation. I mean, are you actually going to argue for Jimmy Wynn and Chet Lemon? Sure, this was used as more of a devil’s advocate argument for Jim Edmonds than anything. But Kenny Lofton was one-and-done on the ballots. So was Bernie Williams. And, unfortunately for him, so was Edmonds. The position is currently highly underrepresented as it is. But after Griffey, we’ll have to wait and see the fates of Andruw Jones, Carlos Beltran and Torii Hunter. And then probably just hope Mike Trout and Andrew McCutchen can keep it up.


3. This is the Class of #1 and #1,390.



Griffey was the first pick of the 1987 Draft. Mike Piazza was the 1,390th pick in the 1988 Draft. So that makes for a good story. Especially since Griffey was also the first number one overall to go to the Hall of Fame. Not Harold Baines in 1977, not Darryl Strawberry in 1980. Certainly not Shawon Dunston in 1982. But that feat will soon be equaled by Chipper Jones. Possibly A-Rod. Possibly Joe Mauer. And (dare I say) possibly David Price. Plus it gives hope to down-on-their-luck guys like Bryce Harper and Carlos Correa who nobody ever talks about like they’re any good.


4. Trevor Hoffman Will Get In. Because Mariano Rivera.



I want you to listen to me. Trevor Hoffman getting more votes than Curt Schilling and Mike Mussina is INSANE. Schilling pitched 3,261 innings in his career. Mussina pitched 3,562. On the other hand, the two new relievers to the list (Hoffman and Billy Wagner) only pitched 1,089 and 903. That’s not even close to the same thing. And don’t tell me how they were used was not their fault. If either Hoffman or Wagner were good enough to start, they would have. Clayton Kershaw isn’t a relief pitcher. You want him going seven instead of one. When John Smoltz started to suck, they sent him to the pen. When Kerry Wood started to suck, they also sent him to the pen. And then they were both somehow good again. Like, do you know what Curt Schilling would have done as a one inning relief man? He would have made everybody in question, Rivera included, look like fucking chump change. Rivera was a failed starter. Wagner was a failed starter. Hoffman was a failed shortstop who could throw hard for one inning. The logic of voting for Hoffman over any starter is so stupid to me. But since everyone blindly decided that Mariano Rivera (and his 1,283 innings) was this infallible super god, then we have to deem the #2 guy with almost the same respect. But the fact is, if Rivera was just slightly better, he could have been a mediocre #3 starter. Give me a break.



5. I Changed My Mind on Larry Walker and Fred McGriff.



Larry Walker isn’t getting in, period. I think they said the lowest vote total anybody has gotten and still eventually been elected was Duke Snider’s 17%. Walker is currently sitting at 15.5% and wasn’t even covered in any of the discussions leading up to the announcement. And that’s because his home/road splits are bananas. No pun intended. So I guess I’ll have to give up on Walker for now. Your move, Todd Helton. On the other hand, I’ve come to the realization that the 1994 strike completely fucked Fred McGriff. And somehow that argument had never occurred to me. Maybe because I don’t like thinking about the strike. But McGriff is just seven home runs shy of an automatic Cooperstown bid. And through 113 games in 1994, he had 34. So yeah, he would have gotten seven more if they’d played the season out. So I’d switch my votes out for those two if we were ready to play the game all over.



6. There’s a Real Movement to Soften on Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens.



They’re different than the rest of the steroid guys, you see. And they might well be. So we’ll have to see if people are willing to forgive and forget over the next six years. Or if they’ll be banished to Mark McGwire/Rafael Palmeiro Island. And while we’re at it, there seems to be another real movement to let the BWAA vote on Pete Rose. Just to be clear, Shoeless Joe Jackson was on the first ever Hall of Fame ballot in 1936. He got two votes and was never back on. But Rose has never gotten that opportunity. And aren’t being banned from baseball and being in the Hall of Fame two different things?



Okay. That about wraps up my excitement from Hall of Fame Announcement Day. See you next year when Jeff Bagwell and Tim Raines finally get in. And I complain even more about Trevor Hoffman.



My Pretend Ballot for the 2016 Baseball Hall of Fame

Written by :
Published on : December 20, 2015


Well, it’s that time of year again. The Baseball Hall of Fame will be announcing its new inductees on January 6th and, until then, we’ll all get to argue with our idiot friends about why their favorite player, although actually pretty good, does not deserve immortality in Cooperstown. It’s also a time where idiots like me, who have no real business voicing their idiot opinions, get to do so nevertheless. So let’s take a look at this year’s ballot and let the arguments begin.


First, the Steroid Guys. Yes, Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens were absolutely bona fide Hall of Famers before their foray into performance-enhancing drugs. Yes, Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire helped ‘save’ baseball in 1998. But I don’t think it’s quite time that we honor these men with shiny plaques. I think the best possible solution to the problem is to let their peers on the Veterans Committee deal with them. If their contemporaries vote the Steroid Guys in, there’s really nothing left to be said about it. But as for now, I won’t be voting for them in this hypothetical blog posting. So I’ll preemptively stamp NO on Bonds, Clemens, Sosa, McGwire and Gary Sheffield.




Secondly, I’m not that in to relief pitchers. I know, I know. I would probably vote for Mariano Rivera in the future, but for the most part, relief pitchers are just guys who aren’t good enough to start or go 7 innings. There are plenty of examples of that, including Rivera. Plus, a ‘save’ wasn’t even a thing until the sixties. And the actual amount of work most of them do is grotesquely minuscule compared to the starting pitchers on the ballot. I could go on, but I don’t do that here. Just know I’m also giving a NO to Lee Smith, Billy Wagner and Trevor Hoffman. That being said, let’s get started.


1. Mike Piazza

(on 69.9% of ballots in 2015)
The only thing that prohibited Piazza from being a first-ballot Hall of Famer (instead of a 5th, which he’ll likely be) is the vague assumption that he might have done steroids. Other than that, he’d be in. Piazza was the best catcher in baseball for most of the nineties and at least the best catcher in the National League from 1993-2002. During that time, he made 12 All-Star rosters and received MVP votes in 9 different seasons, including finishing second in 1996 and ’97 and third in 2000. Plus, his career numbers are comparable to Johnny Bench, Yogi Berra, Gary Carter, Carlton Fisk, Gabby Hartnett, Bill Dickey and Duke Snider. Not bad for a 62nd round draft pick. If you’re still not convinced because of Piazza’s steroid whispers, just consider that a) if he really did them, it’s amazing that we don’t know by now and b) how much fun it would be to picture Roger Clemens’ seething face watching Piazza’s induction speech from home.

My vote: YES.


2. Jeff Bagwell


In a perfect world, Bagwell could have gone in with his Killer Bees teammate, Craig Biggio last year. For like, 15 years those guys WERE the Astros. But like Mike Piazza, Bagwell also has PED whispers. Nevertheless, his resume is fantastic. Bagwell was one of the best NL first basemen in the nineties, when there was especially tough competition to be that. He received MVP votes in 10 different seasons, including winning the award in 1994 and getting second two other times. Bagwell’s career numbers are similar to Frank Thomas and Willie Stargell. And JAWS has him ranked as the 6th best first baseman of all time. It goes Lou Gehrig, Albert Pujols, Jimmie Foxx, Cap Anson, Roger Connor and then Jeff Bagwell. Pretty impressive. Oh, and the Red Sox trading him to Houston for Larry Anderson is probably the second-worst trade in their team’s history. So there’s that too.

My vote: YES.


3. Tim Raines

I know as a baseball nerd I’m supposed to say YES, but I just can’t find a good enough argument for the guy. Raines never came close to winning an MVP award. He played for 23 years, but doesn’t have any sure-thing milestone numbers other than stolen bases. And I feel like people have to do rhetorical gymnastics to portray him as anything other than a marginal pick. I really wish I could say YES, but I can’t. He’s an A+ Vince Coleman and a C+ Rickey Henderson. However, I will say that spending $40,000 on blow in 1982 does make him the Wade Boggs of Cocaine.

My Vote: (Regretful) NO.


4. Curt Schilling


I would guess that Randy Johnson and Pedro Martinez had to get in before most voters were willing to give Schilling a real chance. And it also probably didn’t help that Curt Schilling has always been a gigantic asshole to the press. Actually, Schilling is a Born Again, George W. Bush backing, Iraq War loving, homophobic Creationist. So I don’t think we’d get along too well either. But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t an outstanding pitcher. Schilling finished second in Cy Young voting three different times, has over 3,000 career strikeouts and three World Series rings. You remember the Bloody Sock in 2004 and the outstanding 2001 performance with Randy Johnson that earned them Sports Illustrated‘s co-Sportsmen of the Year. I’d say Schilling is the 6th-best pitcher of my lifetime (behind Clemens, Greg Maddux, Johnson, Martinez and Mike Mussina). And although his career numbers are closer to Kevin Brown, Bob Welch and Orel Hershiser, I think his multiple postseason performances push him over the hump. Plus, homeboy was on the ’93 Phillies. That team deserves SOMEBODY in the Hall.

My vote: YES.


5. Edgar Martinez

Two years ago, Frank Thomas proved that a true DH can make it into the Hall of Fame. But Edgar Martinez isn’t exactly the Big Hurt. Thomas has 521 career home runs and two MVP awards. Edgar has the career numbers of Will Clark and John Olerud. Yes, he held his own on teams with Ken Griffey Jr. and Alex Rodriguez and sometimes had seasons with higher WARs than both of them. And he’s the only DH to ever win a batting title (which is bizarre, if you think about it). But when the career totals are iffy, being a lowly DH makes it easier to say NO.

My vote: NO.


6. Alan Trammell


Maybe some day in the future, the Vets Committee can make all of Detroit happy by inducting Trammell and Lou Whitaker into the Hall together. And the sports media can attempt to appreciate their 19 seasons together with the Tigers, where they completed more double plays than any other combo in history. But as of now, he ain’t gettin’ in. Trammell was good, but he wasn’t quite Robin Yount or Cal Ripken Jr. or Ozzie Smith or Barry Larkin (you know, Hall of Famers). He was on Magnum P.I. once though. And that will have to be his consolation prize.

My vote: NO.


7. Mike Mussina

Now that all the top tier pitchers from his era are in the Hall of Fame (sans Clemens), I think it’s time to take a look at Mussina. I said that about Curt Schilling a little earlier, but Mussina was actually a better pitcher than Schilling. I also actually think he was better than John Smoltz. Mussina was one of the best pitchers in the AL for a decade. And although he never won a Cy Young, he received votes in 9 different seasons and should have won the award in 2001. Mussina won 270 games in his career, including 20 in his last season. His career numbers are comparable to Juan Marichal, Jim Palmer and Carl Hubbell. And he’s got 7 Gold Gloves to boot. Simply put, Mike Mussina is the best pitcher in the history of baseball who is not in the Hall of Fame. Sans Clemens.

My vote: YES.


8. Jeff Kent


I honestly thought I’d be able to look at Kent’s power numbers and try to slide him into the YES column by comparing him to other second baseman. But Kent wasn’t quite Craig Biggio or Roberto Alomar or Ryne Sandberg or even Lou Whitaker. I don’t even think he’s as good of a candidate as Chase Utley. And if I really wanted to be mean, I’d say he also sucked at defense and didn’t deserve the MVP award he won in 2000. But I wouldn’t do that. The man went on the DL one time after “washing his truck” for Chrissakes and I wouldn’t want to kick a man with that kind of bad luck.

My vote: NO.


9. Fred McGriff

After the Devil Rays released McGriff in 2004, nobody came calling. And the Crime Dog had to retire with 493 career home runs. That’s seven (SEVEN!) short of being an automatic selection for the Hall (sans the Steroid Guys). Think about how stupid that is. Because of that, I wish I could vote YES, but I still can’t. Sure, with 400 + home runs McGriff has similar career numbers to David Ortiz, Willie McCovey, Willie Stargell, Jeff Bagwell, Frank Thomas, Billy Williams and Gary Sheffield. But he never finished higher than 4th in MVP voting, so the peaks aren’t really there. What would his Cooperstown plaque say, “6th-best first baseman of the nineties?” Because that’s kind of what he was. JAWS ranks him as the 29th-best first baseman of all time. Which is totally not helping. If he’d just gotten that call and hit seven more… Then I’d start a petition to get the cap on his plaque to sit high on top of his head and say, “Baseball World” like in the Tom Emanski Baseball Fundamentals commercials. But sadly, he’s still just seven short.

My vote: (Very regretful) NO.


10. Larry Walker


Are players from the Colorado Rockies not allowed to be in the Baseball Hall of Fame? Just wondering. Because nobody who’s ever played for that team is in it. And that’s got to be the reason Walker is finishing so low in the vote totals. It’s not like Walker wasn’t good in Montreal. He just happened to be much better once he got to the high altitudes of Colorado. Or so it would seem. In Walker’s MVP season in 1997, he hit more home runs and had a higher OPS on the road than at home. And that was in the nineties, when Walker’s advanced stats were just as good as all of the Steroid Monsters. He has three batting titles and seven Gold Gloves. And the career stats of Miguel Cabrera, Duke Snider, Joe DiMaggio, Johnny Mize, Vladimir Guerrero and Lance Berkman. And JAWS lists him as the 10th best right fielder of all time. It’s not like everybody in Denver is doing that.

My vote: YES.


11. Nomar Garciaparra

Boy, things sure started out hot for No-Mah, didn’t they? It looked like he was going to be in the same conversation as A-Rod and Jeter for the great shortstops of his generation. But if career numbers matter, Garciaparra is well short of a Hall of Fame career. He’s the 12th-best shortstop of my lifetime. Even the previously-cursed Red Sox couldn’t win it all until he went to the Cubs (conspiracy!) in the middle of the 2004 season. At least he has Mia Hamm.

My vote: NO (MAH).


Okay. Time for the 1st ballot guys. And I have to say, most of them don’t even pass the sniff test. Like, I could analyze the pitching career of Mike Hampton, or tell you that JAWS has him as the 301st-best pitcher of all time. David Eckstein is the 112th-best shortstop of all time. Mike Sweeney is the 101st-best first basemen. And so forth and so on. Jason Kendall, Brad Ausmus and Randy Wynn never got a single vote for MVP or Cy Young throughout their entire careers. Not to say that they weren’t good players. These guys made All-Star rosters. But I’m just saying most are not really worth analyzing. Except for two. And they are…


12. Ken Griffey Jr.


YES. First ballot. 630 career home runs. An MVP award in 1997. 13 All-Star Games. 10 Gold Gloves (only trailing Roberto Clemente and Willie Mays as an outfielder.) And no known allegations of steroid use. He’s as automatic as it gets.

My vote: YES!!!


13. Jim Edmonds

While the 8 Gold Gloves are impressive (and like Griffey, holy shit did he make some bonkers catches – that ’97 catch at Kauffmann???), the offensive stats aren’t there. I’m curious if he gets the necessary votes to stay on the ballot. But he probably shouldn’t.

My vote: NO.


In summary, my picks are Piazza, Bagwell, Schilling, Mussina, Walker and Griffey. I’d assume it will be Griffey and Piazza this year. Or just Griffey. But we’ll obviously have to wait and see. The good news is, we can start all over in 2017 with Pudge Rodriguez and Manny Ramirez and Vladimir Guerrero and Jorge Posada and so forth and so on. Because, after all, if you’re a baseball fan and an idiot like me, isn’t this part of the process the most fun anyway?



Support Us
Support ScoreBoredSports on patreon!


Hide Error message here!

Forgot your password?

Error message here!

Error message here!

Hide Error message here!

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link to create a new password.

Error message here!

Back to log-in