Dear NFL owners, build a dome

Written by :
Published on : December 31, 2015


Do you hate your fans? Build a dome. The sun/cold can straight up ruin a game. Tickets, parking, concession, all that ain’t cheap. You’re killing me already. So it’s $200 dollars to sit in discomfort for 3 hours? Are you trying to make me go to Buffalo Wild Wings? Owners, if you are drawing plans for a new home then think of us, the fans. You say you love us, if that’s true then put a roof on it.


I appreciate the old gridiron nonsense of yesteryear but this is a new game. It’s built for speed and scoring. The rules committee saw to that. So we all need to adjust. And that includes the majority shareholders. There are some great outdoor stadiums and I’m not saying to tear them down, but if we have a chance to create a new one then I think we really have to consider the experience we are providing. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the Super Bowl is normally held somewhere warm or at an arena with a dome. The league knows they don’t want to punish the people who can afford a ticket for the big game. I mean would you pay $5,000 to sit outside at Lambeau in February? The only outdoor/cold Super Bowl host I can think of was in 2014 at the new (at the time) Giants/Jets’ home (in New Jersey) MetLife Stadium.


 Minnesota is building a new dome and they will host the 2018 Super Bowl


Climate change is real. I know that might me hard to hear (or read) but it is the truth. The winters are going to be worse. And that’s when we have our playoffs, so we need to head indoors. Build a real roof and let’s climate control our Sundays. I know some fans will read this and say “I tough it out for my team” and I love that spirit but we know fans are crazy and will do insane things for the team. I’m just saying it shouldn’t have to be something we “tough out,” not anymore. Not in the billion dollar NFL era. Stadiums have fancy foods, craft beers on tap, huge HD jumbotrons and outrageous StubHub prices. None of that pairs well with thermal underwear and two sets of gloves, so you don’t get frostbite.


Looking around the NFL, the divisions that all have outdoor facilities are the AFC North (Baltimore, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh) the AFC East (Buffalo, Miami, New York Jets, New England) and the AFC West (Denver, Kansas City, Oakland, San Diego) while the NFC divisions all have at least one indoor arena. The Arizona Cardinals have a very cool home at the University of Phoenix Stadium because the roof is retractable and has a roll-in natural grass playing surface. This is the modern engineering we need. The folks in the desert know that their weather is mostly great but they wanted the flexibility to shut the roof and crank the AC. Hats off to that. And lord knows we need it, fellow SBS staffer Michael got heat stroke outside tailgating once and would have died if not for the cool, indoor conditions.


 Pull up to the scene with my ceiling missing


We’ve had some great times in some cold ass games, the Brady “tuck rule” versus Oakland in the snow or famous “Ice Bowl” AKA the 1967 NFL Championship game where Lombardi’s Packers edged the Cowboys in -15 degree temperatures. But it’s time to warm up to the new reality. The game is becoming a premium viewing experience and dealing with weather is for farmers. I’m proud to say the Lions have always rocked a dome (Ford Field, Pontiac Silverdome) in my lifetime. It’s the one thing that the organization has done right. Now we just need some cheerleaders and then maybe we can win a playoff game, but that’s another topic altogether.


So NFL owners, please hear my totally original words: if you build it, they will come. And you can charge more and they will pay.


Dome mention it.



Roger Pretzel’s Review ‘N Brew: Week 10

Written by :
Published on : November 20, 2015



In this little corner Roger Pretzel will review his favorite play of the week along with a thoughtful review of what beverage he was imbibing at the time.



Week 10: Crezdon Butler Breaks-up Crucial Packers Two Point Conversion

A once in a quarter century game saving play.




Amidst the ruins of the smoldering slagheap that is the Lions wasted 2015 season, I am pleased to come up with at least one Detroit play worthy of the Review ‘N Brew. Sure, it was nice to have our first win at Lambeau since 1991, and I good-naturedly ate up all the horseshit little news pieces about what was going on in ’91 to show just how long it’s been. That was a cakewalk however, compared to the obvious truth that it wasn’t exactly a resoundingly successful win for the Lions. They gave an imploding Green Bay squad every chance to steal the game away, until Mason Crosby said “enough is enough” and squibbed the ball when he should have been trying for a field goal.


Teryl Austin’s defense finally made an appearance this season, showing up in a big way against a division rival. They were the most successful force on the field all day, and new kid on the block Crezdon Butler made the big play after just being signed; a week ago he was washed-up and watching the NFL from his couch.


Much credit belongs to linebacker Josh Bynes who rushes straight through both lines, making Aaron Rodgers throw early. Still, Davaonte Adams has space on the quasi-fade pass and jumps for it… until Butler gets a solid hand on the ball’s nose sending it scoreless to the oft-commented on lush grass of Lambeau Field. It should have been a game clincher but in true Lions heart-attack style the next 30 or so seconds would be nail-biting misery until the fat lady finally sang.




Week 10: Really, Really Expensive Scotch


It’s no secret that I am a man who enjoys the finer things in life, and when I drink scotch I want my wee dram to be from a bottle that costs roughly as much as the down-payment on a house. To celebrate the Lions unlikely win, I lit the lamp and headed down into the depths of my private cellar, returning with three very august bottles.


Glengoyne 35 Year-Old Single Malt

 photo 35_006_1__zpsq3fxndj3.jpg

As the aroma wafted up into my schnozz from the opened bottle, I knew I was in for a treat. The elixir in my palm-warmed snifter gave up scents of vanilla, almond, honey, and old-man balls. Whetting my tongue ever so slightly, I was impressed that the flavor of elderly gentleman scrotum was both subtle, yet undeniable along with hits of cooked fruit, and dried peat. A lingering note of geriatric testicles made for a sublime tasting experience.


Pro tip: This Glengoyne pairs particularly well with a milder cigar, particularly one that tastes like the taint of a middle-aged construction worker.



Port Ellen 14th Release 35 Year-Old Single Malt

 photo Dec14-PortEllen14th_zps8gw19had.jpg

The Port Ellen was next up. As I uncork the bottle I feel joyous and warm, both from the Lions’ victory and from my previous snoot. Perhaps a little hastily, I dove into this one without lingering too long on the bouquet. This little gem proved smooth and honeyed, with loads of soft smokiness to spare and a heady dose of geezer nutsack. I regained control of myself and slowed down, noting the bourbon, grandpa gland, and maple elements. I cleansed my palate with some table water crackers and took another sip. “This is some expensive shit,” I thought pleasurably to myself as the bold flavors of the balls of old gray kings danced across my tongue. Let’s try one more before bed I thought…



Lagavulin 37 Year Old Single Malt

 photo 22200-158-2_zps0hc0wnmh.jpg

Ah Lagavulin, what a trusty friend you are! I keep a bottle of the 16-year regularly stocked in my personal bar, but today is a special day, for the Lions have defeated the Green Bay Packers for the first time in 24 years at Lambeau Field. While I certainly appreciate the 16-year, it cannot compare to the 37 in the complexity in which the flavors of old duffer gonads mix with the rich malt and sherry. I’m getting sleepy and curl up with an old volume of Byron as I take tiny sips. The poetry on the page is worthy of the poetry in my glass as I savor the essence of ancient dude-berries in a hairy and weathered sack attached to some venerable old general.


My glass is now empty and I fall asleep in my easy chair with the fire raging. What a wonderful day it’s been.



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