SBS Film Vault: Like Mike

Written by :
Published on : April 19, 2017

 

 

2002’s Like Mike is another orphan sports story just like Angels in the Outfield. But our hero isn’t watching from the sidelines, he ends up balling with real NBA pros. It’s really like Angels in the Outfield mixed with something like Rookie of the Year. But with basketball. Time to lace up your favorite sneakers and hit the hardwood for this latest update of the SBS Film Vault.

 

The story

13-year-old Calvin Cambridge (Bow Wow) lives in an orphanage where basketball is his biggest passion. He sells candy bars outside LA’s Staples Center for the orphanage’s crooked proprietor. Calvin remains upbeat and knows he is destined for something big. One day, Calvin finds an old pair of sneakers with the initials “MJ” on the faded tongue. Could they really be Michael Jordan’s old kicks? Well before we can find out, local youth home bully, Ox, tosses the sneakers onto a power line. Cut to later, Calvin and his buds go out in a rain storm with the hopes of getting the shoes down. Lighting, the power line, it’s all very Back to the Future. Calvin survives the lighting strike and now the Nikes seems magically charged.

 

like mike shoe

 

Later, the orphan kids win tickets to the game and then Calvin wins a chance to play 1-on-1 with LA Knights star (yeah, they have a fake team even though the rest of the league is real NBA) Tracy Reynolds (Chestnut) at halftime. Calvin laces up his shoes and wishes to be “like Mike” and after that, he is. He can dribble, shoot and dunk just like his Airness himself. That’s right, 4’8″ Calvin Cambridge can easily dunk the ball. Yeah it shocks everyone. Calvin gets signed to the LA Knights and this flick is off and rolling. The only catch being, he needs to be wearing the shoes for the magic to work.

 

The cast

Starring Lil Bow Wow or Bow Wow or Shad Moss, depending on how well you know him. The funny little kid from Jerry Maguire (Jonathan Lipnicki) and a whole host of real NBA stars. Including: Allen Iverson, Steve Nash, Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, Tracy McGrady, Dirk Nowitzki, Gary Payton, David Robinson, Rasheed Wallace and Chris Webber just to name a few. Also real actors like Morris Chestnut, Crispin Glover, Eugene Levy, Brenda Song, Jesse Plemons, Fred Armisen, Reginald VelJohnson and Robert Forster.

 

like mike poster

 

Takeaways

No it’s not the Lakers or Clippers, the made up Los Angeles team is the Knights which is great. Only thing better would have been the Hollywood Knights. Bob Seger rules! Tracy, the Knights other star, adopts the fucking kids at the end! Just like Angels in the Outfield. Both Calvin and his buddy Murph move in with Tracy. Who is another single man who spends all his time traveling for work and he just brings home two human beings like it’s picking up a pizza. Michael Jordan never shows up. You’d expect at least a small cameo, but nothing. I’m sure there was a very important card game he was attending.

 

This flick is really just a 99 minute commercial for Nike. I wouldn’t be surprised if the real Michael Jordan was a secret producer on this project. It’s all one big conspiracy to sell more sneakers and apparel. Seems like a bet MJ would take. I mean he is thanked in the credits. Just saying.

 

It must be the shoes.

 

 


WWSHD: What Would Steve Harvey Do?

Written by :
Published on : December 23, 2015

 

 

This week, Comedian/Author Steve Harvey may have had the most horrendous gaffe in the history of live television. During a live recording of the Miss Universe Pageant, Harvey announced Ariadna Gutierrez of Colombia the winner of the contest. However, Harvey read the card incorrectly and had regrettably made a mistake. He then went on to announce the REAL winner, Miss Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach of the Philippines. As you can imagine social media has taken Harvey to task in memes and Vines.

 

 

Although the world can be unforgiving, I am one to say give the man a break! It was a honest mistake that could happen to anyone. The situation got me thinking: what if Steve Harvey was involved in some of sports’ most controversial moments? What would Steve Harvey do?

 

 

1. University of Michigan Power Forward Chris Webber calls timeout (1993). Referee Steve Harvey grants team a timeout even though they don’t have any.

weber timeout

 

In this scenario, referee Harvey has the authority to force a timeout. This would be to the dismay of Duke University coach Mike Krzyzewski and his evil empire. The Wolverines would go on to win the championship and be cemented as one of the best basketball teams ever. The NCAA sanctions would still ban the Fab 5 from being affiliated with the school. However, maybe the relationship of the Fab 5 would remain intact 20 years later. A championship for the Wolverines would have changed the trajectory of all the careers of those famous players.

 

2. Last season playoff (2015) contest between the Dallas Cowboys and Green Bay Packers. Dez Bryant goes up for catch on 4th down. Referee Steve Harvey rules the catch complete.

 

Bryant makes the catch and the Cowboys are in scoring position to win the game. A playoff game! Harvey has single-handedly changed the fortunes of “America’s Team.” The Cowboys go on to face the Seattle Seahawks as a favorite. From there they go on to face New England Patriots and with properly inflated balls, Tom Brady stands no chance against Dem Boys. The first championship for the Cowboys since Deion Sanders Jheri curl was still full of Soul Glo.

 

3. Ronda Rousey is KO’d in the second round by Holly Holm. Steve Harvey declares Rousey the winner by disqualification.

 

Holm is shaking hands and kissing babies until she hears the announcement. Rousey is still on the ground asking the referee “Why won’t you play duck duck goose with me?” In a sudden rage, Holm gives Harvey a roundhouse kick to the chin which forces his mustache into his nostrils. Meanwhile, Rousey is unaware that she has won. Instead, she is preoccupied making snow angels with her blood on the mat. Good work Steve.

 

4. Honorable Judge Harvey receives the ruling from the jury but instead finds O.J. Simpson guilty of first degree murder (1995).

 

The case had the country clearly divided. Whether it was race or socioeconomic status that caused the divide, there was tension with the pending outcome. The murders were done in such a vile and malicious fashion. If O.J. Simpson had been convicted then maybe it would have curtailed some of the heinous crimes committed by other athletes. Simpson getting away with murder (in some people’s eyes) set a poor precedent that if you hire a revered attorney then you can possibly evade the law.

 

5. Miami Hurricanes are on the cusp on winning a National Championship in 2003. Ohio State is near the goal line. It’s 4th and 3 and Buckeye QB Craig Krenzel passes into the end zone. The pass is incomplete. The game is over and the Hurricanes win their 35th straight game and second consecutive national championship.

 

Lead referee Harvey never throws a pass interference flag on cornerback Glenn Sharpe. This changes the direction of both franchises as Hurricane coach Larry Coker gets an extended stay with the program. Meanwhile, Buckeye coach Jim Tressel will have to reassess his program and answer to critics that deem him an underachiever. Harvey leaves the stadium unscathed and the Hurricane fans are forever indebted to him.

 

 

That’s the world according to Steve. Now let’s all watch some Family Feud then go suit shopping.

 

#SteveHarveysLifeMatters

 


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