Roger Pretzel’s Haunted Dungeon Weeks 11 & 12 and “Night of the Lepus”

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Published on : November 30, 2016

 

Welcome back to Roger Pretzel’s Haunted Dungeon. In this spooky sanctum I’ve poured over all the replay tape to come up with my favorite NFL play of the week. Then it’s straight back to the projector to unspool a film you may have not been aware of…

 

Old Roger Pretzel loves him a Thanksgiving feast and this year was no exception, as friends and travel put me out of commission for the entire week. Now it’s back to work and we got some catching up to do!

 

Week 11: Steven Nelson Robs Mike Evans

 

VIDEO HERE

 

Cornerback is the hardest position in the league to play since you’re not allowed to sneeze on receivers, let alone touch them. Kansas City’s Steven Nelson shows great skill and dedication on this play, craftily slipping an arm between Mike Evans’s body and the ball, allowing him to tear it free from number 13 as the two went to the ground.

 

I’m seeing more and more plays like this as the rules and officiating evolve, with defenders playing to stop the ball with arms and hands, up close and personal with their target as opposed to more physical body positioning and plays where the defender tries to pull off flawless glove-like coverage. I like it. Let the ball come in and play it from there.

 

Week 12: Ndamukong Suh Stuffs Kaepernick For the Showstopper


The Niners have had an expectedly dismal season, but surprisingly the Miami Dolphins have been on a hell of a run as of late. Chip Kelly’s potentially tying drive in the game’s final minute showed pep and promise with some good throws by Kap and a great play by Torrey Smith to get out of bounds.

 

But with 2 seconds left on 2nd and goal Colin Kaepernick dithers for just a second as he decides whether to throw or run. Personally, I think he might have had this one if he committed to the run and turned on the jets, but ultimately one of football’s hardest working and most reviled bad guys, Ndamukong Suh, came back to pull Kaepernick down from behind as Kiko Alonso provided some steam-rolling insurance up front.

 

Weeks 11 & 12: Night of the Lepus

night_of_lepus_poster_02.jpg.html

Director: William F. Claxton
Released: 1972

 

The giant-animal-on-a-rampage film had its golden age in the 1950’s with nuclear and commie paranoia getting conjured up into massive ants, lizards, and tarantulas, amongst other beasties. The genre had a bit of resurgence, as well as a modification, with the “revenge of nature” films in the 1970’s as the country’s concerns about rampant pollution increased. This period provided us with gems like Food of the Gods (1976), and stinkers like Frogs (1972), but the most preposterous of them all was Night of the Lepus.

 

Night-of-the-Lepus

 

This is a movie about giant bunny rabbits that terrorize an Arizona town. Giant killer bunny rabbits.

 

Admittedly, the visual effects are pretty strong here with some great miniature sets and the occasional matte painting background. It also boasts performances by Psycho (1960) shower-scene victim Janet Leigh and Star Trek’s own Dr. Bones, DeForest Kelley, slumming it for the drive-in crowd. Oh, and let’s not forget the great Rory Calhoun either. Puppets are generally used for the attack scenes and while the picture’s questionable subject matter benefits from a deadly serious tone, the liberal use of paint-red blood in the wake of the carnivorous rodents is comically over the top.

 

lepus kelly and cast

 

The mad science behind the wascally wabbits is pretty well thought out for a film of this ilk with a hormone serum in testing, and a rabbit that is accidentally liberated from the researchers’ control group. There’s also some worthwhile social commentary with the rabbits becoming local pests in the first place due to humans killing off all the coyotes who were once the rabbits’ natural predators.

 

It’s ultimately a bit hard to watch Night of the Lepus and not struggle with a little cognitive dissonance: how can one take a movie about cattle-sized killer rabbits seriously even if the film is effective and dare I say… good on its own merits? Regardless, whether you’re in it for the novelty or are a true believer this one comes highly recommended.

 

nightofthelepus5

 

Scope out the trailer here:

 

 

Available for rental on Amazon and iTunes.

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 17

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Published on : January 2, 2016

 

 

Well folks, it’s been an incredible year making picks for the all the SBS staff. We’re a bunch of smart motherfuckers. Though there was a heated competition and I am currently a distant second, I will make my boldest prediction yet: I will become the ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks Champion. In fact, here is an excerpt of my acceptance speech:

 

 

But the real point here is more exposé than anything. What the hell got into SBS Editor and possible PED user Bruno? Here we are in a two-man race between myself and Ryan, comfortable on our laurels, when all of a sudden this dude Bruno gets the Shining and mounts a ridiculous comeback. In the last five weeks he’s been among the top two in picks, including blowing us all (out of the water) this past week. Sick of it. Someone needs to dig up the dirt.

 

Moving on, the trickiest game on the slate this week for me to pick was the Cardinals – Seahawks matchup, mainly because they’re both damn good.  The game is in Arizona, but there’s very little at stake for the Cards, already having won the NFC west, while Seattle and Russell Wilson were straight up Megachurching everyone in their path before that unfortunate Rams loss (yes, when it applies to Russell Wilson on the football field, I believe “Megachurch” can be used as a verb). That loss makes this game critical for the Seabirds, not so much for the Sandbirds, so I went with Seattle.

 

That about does it for the ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks for this year.  Thanks so much to the readers, we sincerely hope that you made money gambling illegally, using our tried-and-true methods of nonsense.  Here’s to a great end of the NFL season, playoffs, Super Bowl, and hopefully a Roger Goodell Satan-worshipping scandal in the off-season.

 

My New Year’s resolution for 2016:

 

 

Week 17

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Week 12

Week 13

Week 14

Week 15

Week 16

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 15

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Published on : December 17, 2015

 

Here we sit on the precipice of week 15. The ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks are almost done for the season and what a fun ride it has been. At least for Ryan and Antoine, who are the only ones who have had a legit shot at the title since the beginning of the year. With 3 weeks of picks left, it’s not likely that Ryan is going to be unseated from the top spot. I suppose he could have a couple of bad weeks and I could miraculously catch up, but this guy just seems to know how to pick winners. He’s a madman who can’t be stopped, and he should probably start gambling on sports.

 

But we can talk about Ryan’s future gambling addiction some other time, right now let’s look at this exciting slate of games. Actually the only game that really looks exciting to me is Panthers at Giants. Mostly because these last fews Panthers games are going to be really suspenseful as they try to go undefeated, but also because it seems like the Giants are finally starting to put it together. Some of that bad luck has turned into late season good luck with that win over the Dolphins last week and they sit in a 3-way tie for the top spot in the abysmal NFC East.

 

There’s also a bunch of garbage matchups, either between good teams who will crush their bad opponents ( Titans @ Patriots, Browns @ Seahawks), or between two bad teams ( Dolphins @ Chargers, Lions @ Saints.) Either way, those will all be hard games to watch, but we’ll watch ’em anyways, because it’s football. And we love football!

 

On to the picks…..

Week 15

 

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Week 12

Week 13

Week 14

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 14

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Published on : December 10, 2015

 

Hi, I’m Sandy, but no, I’m not a female. However, I am the staff writer that follows the NFL the least avidly despite working at NFL Red Zone last season (HINT: there’s a reason they wouldn’t have me back this year….).

 

So, it’s Week 14 and I couldn’t be happier that it’s almost the postseason for a litany of reasons. What makes me the happiest about entering the third trimester of the 2015-16 NFL season’s pregnancy is that SportsCenter will soon reach that sweet spot of the year in February where they’re basically only showing NBA highlights, and in my world NBA reigns supreme. The next best reason to be happy the regular season is almost over: Super Bowl parties. I do kind of love football, but my favorite part of football is easily the eating that goes along with it. Plus, playoff games are way better in general, but also because my team, the Detroit Lions, won’t be able to break my heart and open my mind to the possibility of NFL conspiracy theories against The D. Their season will simply be over. Football in the snow is cool too.

 

Granted I’m the least knowledgable writer for SBS regarding football, I’ve done pretty well predicting winners this season. As for this week, I predict the NFL to beat the film Concussion on account of Will Smith trying out a weird accent. When Will Smith is kicking ass in action movies, we all win. The Lions might lose the rest of their games, or least the ones they should win, but the NFL will always be undefeated against concussions, but will the Panthers?

Here are the ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks for Week 14:

 

Week 14

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Week 12

Week 13

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 12

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Published on : November 25, 2015

 

Thursday is Thanksgiving, the holiday that football owns the same way that Bill Murray owns Groundhog Day. It’s inescapable. If you’re not watching it on TV or playing it in the front yard, then you’re probably hiding in the kitchen filling up on hors d’oeuvres and making small talk with your boring cousin. Good luck with that. I’ll see you at halftime.

 

Meanwhile, these ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks remains a tight race. Ryan and Antoine still lead the pack. I find myself squarely in the middle —  ten points away from both highest and lowest record. Oh, and Alex and Mike both have the same stats (95-65). Not bad? Not good enough. All it takes it one good/bad week to change everything.

 

I’m not much for trash talk, so I’m going the opposite route this week — passive aggressive kindness. Enjoy your Thanksgiving, SBS staffers, and good luck with this week’s picks. Don’t choke.

 

Week 12

 

 

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 11

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Published on : November 19, 2015

 

Hello out there everyone,

It’s been since week 1 that I’ve written the intro to these ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks, and what a rollercoaster of a ride it has been. I spent the first few weeks in the basement of the standings but since then, I’ve really turned things around. I’ve had a 1st or 2nd place record for the past 4 weeks and I’m clawing my way back to relevance. Sure, I’m still 11 correct picks behind Antoine and Ryan but if they have just a couple more stinkers like last week then I’ll be right in the thick of it. I think I can, I think I can…

 

There are a few interesting trends in the way the SBS Staff picked this week’s slate of games. For instance, the Jaguars are the consensus winner over the Titans, as if the Jags are some sort of standard of excellence nowadays (or maybe the Titans are just THAT bad). Also, the Lions seems to have restored faith amongst quite a few of us here and as a lifelong Lions fan, that is the perfect time for them to let everyone down. Besides that, everyone is picking the Patriots and Panthers to win their respective games and remain the last two undefeated teams. How great would it be for both of them to lose? Anyways let’s get to the picks.

 

Week 11

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

 

 

 

 

 


Champ and Chump Week 7

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Published on : October 30, 2015

 

A great time to be alive my friends, a great time to be alive. A little something for everybody to enjoy sports-wise right now as we have the World Series going on, the NFL season is almost at its halfway point, college football is in high gear, hockey has been great thus far and now the NBA is underway. Hell, for guys like Antoine Poutine and me, the English Premier League is off to a very interesting start. This week, we honor a couple slingers of the football, say goodbye to a legend with the futbol and we keep on wishing that Greg Hardy would just go away.

The Champ and Chump of the Week ladies and gentleman…

 

Champ: Kirk Cousins

33-40, 317 yards, 4 TD’s (1 rushing) – Game winning TD pass with 24 seconds left

Cousins rushes for a TD in the second quarter of their wins over the Bucs.

 

The Washington Redskins trailed by 24 points in the 2nd quarter on Sunday, and the sports writers at the Washington Post were all but set to send in their articles for Monday morning’s print. A quarterback controversy was back, would RGIII get another shot? Is Colt McCoy going to be the signal caller next week? Staring a 2-5 start in the face, Cousins came out in the second half and took over, helping the ‘Skins outscore the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 31-6 for the rest of game. Now, at 3-4 and just a game out of first place in the NFC East, anything is possible. While I don’t see the Redskins winning the division, a big swing of momentum like this has been known to get a team on a roll, and make things more interesting than they otherwise would have been.

 

Honorable Mention:

Ryan Tannehill- Finished 18-19 for 282 yards and 4 touchdowns in a blowout win against the Houston Texans. Also, Tannehill broke the NFL record for consecutive completions going back to last week, with 25 straight.

Abby Wambach- After an incredible career, Abby announced her retirement from the US women’s team. The all time leading goals scorer in international competitions (male or female), went out on top after capturing the World Cup championship this past summer.

Montréal Canadiens- Started the season 9-0 while leading the NHL in goals scored and fewest goals against. Very impressive start as they look to bring Lord Stanley back for Canada for the first time since 1993.

 

 

Chump: The U

Lost 58-0 at home to Clemson this past Saturday.

They couldn’t have guessed just how bad this game would go.

 

As embarrassing as that score reads, I am not making the Hurricanes my chump so much for that particular game. Instead, it is for the sad state in which the program currently sits. Similar to what I said about Texas a couple weeks ago (though they beat rival Oklahoma the next week), this team is so far from its glory days that I don’t even know where they should start. I suppose you could say they have started with the firing of Al Golden, but when you’re a program facing NCAA sanctions, how much growth can any coach get from his guys. With postseason bans on the horizon, recruiting is going to take a big blow. Who wants to go to a school that has nothing to play for? Then the following year or two, because no real talent went there, they are so behind the 8-ball, talent wise, that when the post-season sanctions come off they don’t have a chance to match the skill level required to compete for championships. I always think parody is great for sports, but having the usual powerhouses relevant is just as important. A very interesting year it will be as USC, Miami, and potentially Texas all could be seeking new head coaches for next season.

 

Dishonorable Mention:

Ryan Mallett- After missing the team flight this past weekend to Miami, Mallett had to book his own flight. He also slept in and missed a practice during training camp. Today, Mallett finds himself without a team as the Texans cut him saying it’s time to move on.

Greg Hardy- A guy who could be in my “chump” category every week. It’s debatable whether this guy should even be allowed to play pro football, of course leave it to Jerry Jones to give him a chance. His sideline antics after the Cowboy’s special teams gave up a game-winning kick return was the icing on the cake to finally put Hardy on this list. Although calling him a chump is actually being kind.

Florida State- Who would have thought just a week after the Miracle in Ann Arbor we would have another ranked football team fall on a crazy, game-ending play? Kick Six Part 2. Florida State’s kicker Roberto Aguayo, possibly the nation’s top kicker, is about to attempt a field goal with 6 seconds left in a tied ball game and it’s blocked! Georgia Tech scoops up the ball and runs it for the touchdown to end the game.

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 8

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Published on : October 28, 2015

 

I may be the only football illiterate person on the staff. My wisdom for the weekly NFL Staff Picks is based on which place I’d rather live in, and random tidbits I pick up by listening to announcers.

 

Recently, I heard football spectators commenting on the Seahawks. They argued that they are not offensively ready to go on a winning streak following the royal beating they gave to the 49ers last week. My pick for the Seahawks was justified by Pete Carroll’s trajectory in USC football’s glory years. Trojans stick by each other, which is why I was rooting for him, not the team.

 

Anyway, I was struck by a comment in an email from Alex; “football is stupid.” While making my choices for the week 8 picks, certain thoughts came to mind: I barely watch NFL games, but my picks are doing alright; average at worst and better than I expected. Considering my success in making picks for the first time ever, I’ll wait to till the end of the season to confirm or deny if football is stupid.

 

 

Week 8

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

 

 


SBS NFL Picks Against the Spread: Week 7

Written by :
Published on : October 21, 2015

 

This things has gone totally off the rails. My NFL Picks Against the Spread got absolutely destroyed last week and I put up an embarrassing record of 4-9-1. There’s not a whole lot I have to say for myself and I’m going to need a stellar week if I’m to have any hope of getting even here. I’ve been just better than a coin flip up until now, but there’s not really any excuse for what happened. I had a bad week. Simple as that. But like any degenerate gambler, I know I can get it together this week! I can’t lose, so let’s take the plunge!

 

Winning picks in italics

 

Seahawks (-6) at 49ers: 49ers

Seahawks haven’t looked good enough to convince me that they win by more than a field goal. 49ers have looked pretty decent at home though so that’s my pick.

 

Bills (-5.5) at Jaguars (in London): Bills

This isn’t truly a road game for the Bills since it is being played in London and I don’t think the Jaguars are very good right now. I want to believe they can start to put it together but I think the Bills will just be too much to handle.

 

Browns at Rams (-5.5): Browns

I think the Rams will probably eek this out at home but the Browns have been pretty competitive of late. Look for this one to go the Rams’ way late but probably by a field goal or less.

 

Chiefs at Steelers (-2): Steelers

The Chiefs just haven’t been any good this season and their offense is in serious trouble without Jamaal Charles on the field. The Steelers beat a quality opponent last week in the Cardinals, despite having to roll with Landry Jones at QB after Mike Vick (who hasn’t exactly been stellar) got hurt. Le’Veon Bell and the Steelers receivers will be covering the spread, no matter who is at QB.

 

Texans at Dolphins (-4.5): Texans

Arian Foster looks to be getting back into game shape, and that makes all the difference for this Texans team. Between him and DeAndre Hopkins, who is tearing it up right now, this team could actually make a run to win the very bad AFC South. On the backs of those two, the Texans will beat the Dolphins.

 

Jets at Patriots (-9): Patriots

Last week my rule of taking the Patriots and Packers, no matter what the spread is, backfired on me. This one could be just as dangerous because the Jets have looked pretty strong, but isn’t this the perfect time for the Jets to trip over themselves? I see them going into Foxborough and getting a thorough beating at the hand of (arguably) the best team in the league.

 

Vikings (-2.5) at Lions: Lions

This one is also dangerous but as a rule, I don’t really like to pick the road team in a division game. The Lions are still pretty bad when you consider that it took overtime for them to beat the piss-poor Bears. I’m thinking they get Ngata back this week and take a little revenge for their mistake filled loss to the Vikings in week 2.

 

Falcons (-4) at Titans: Falcons

The Falcons lost their bid for an undefeated season last week in New Orleans but they are going to get back on track this week in Tennessee. Devonta Freeman is going to run all over the Titans and you can bet that Julio Jones will get in on the action too.

 

Buccaneers at Redskins (-3.5): Redskins

The Buccaneers running game might give them a chance in this one but I just don’t see Jameis Winston being successful in this road matchup. He has played mistake-prone football all year and I think the pressure of heading up north to play the ‘Skins will be too much. A few too many interceptions means that Washington covers the spread.

 

Saints at Colts (-5): Colts

Andrew Luck looked better this past week but he was still uncharacteristically inaccurate at times. One has to wonder if that injury is still bothering him but another week might help with that. If the Colts don’t get it together real soon, and cut out the bullshit trick plays, then they will be looking for a new head coach very soon. Pagano should just go out and coach his team to a win against a lesser opponent.

 

Raiders at Chargers (-4): Chargers

I’m almost tempted to pick the Raiders in this situation, but I’m not going to…. Remember that whole thing about division games on the road? Yeah, that applies here too. Phillip Rivers and Keenan Allen will win this one if they can avoid the ageless wonder, Charles Woodson.

 

Cowboys at Giants (-3.5): Giants

The Cowboys are playing a division game on the road. And they’re starting Matt Cassel at quarterback! They might as well just fast forward to next week. I don’t care that the Giants just got blown out by the Eagles, they will cover here.

 

Eagles at Panthers (-2.5): Panthers

The Panthers, and especially Cam Newton, are looking very good right about now. They will get the Eagles at home and are bound to capitalize on some Sam Bradford mistakes and keep the unbeaten streak going for one more week.

 

Ravens at Cardinals (-7.5): Cardinals

The Ravens are really bad and I’m regretting not including them in the NFL Graveyard article that I released last week. The Cardinals slipped up recently but will get back on track at home. Look for them to put up a ton of points and cover the spread.

 

 

Bears, Bengals, Broncos and Packers: Bye week.

 


 

 

Last week’s record: 4-9-1

 

Season record: 42-46-3

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 6

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Published on : October 14, 2015

 

Thanks for reading ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 6. So, one thing they don’t tell you when you begin the process of turning into a fifty-foot tall giant made of diamond, is how strongly such a transformation can affect those around you. For example, did you know that people sometimes resent perfect geniuses like myself who make incredibly insightful NFL picks each week? To quote SBS Co-Founder and bearded maniac, Bruno Tysh: “Why has God cursed me with such strength?”

 

This week, the SBS staff didn’t have our best showing, but we were still strong in making heady picks. Mike tied for the lead with that Bruno dude, and yours truly.  As unquestionable as my brilliant method is, the truth behind the veil is perhaps more deceptive than one might think.  Simply stated: my main strategy is to avoid feeling stupid after making a pick.  The best example of this I can think of came a few weeks ago, when the Texans played the Bucs. My logic in picking Houston? Boy, would I have felt like an idiot picking a rookie quarterback, who’s historically struggled against pressure, on the road, against the mythological creature known as J.J. Watt.  It doesn’t take a genius to make that pick, but it doesn’t hurt that I am one.

 

Week 6

Continue reading


SBS NFL Picks Against the Spread: Week 6

Written by :
Published on : October 14, 2015

 

Now we’re cooking with gas! For the second week in a row I posted a winning record, coming in at 8-5-1. I’m starting to get a good feel for the teams and I’m poised to increase my overall win percentage this week. The cream of the crop in the NFL is beginning to separate themselves from everyone else and that makes my life much easier. Until further notice I will be picking the Patriots and Packers to win no matter where they are or what the spread is (luckily they don’t play each other), and I suggest you do too. Here are the rest of the SBS NFL Picks Against the Spread for week 6.

 

Winning picks in italics.

 

Falcons (-3) at Saints: Atlanta

I normally don’t like to pick the road team in a division game, but the Saints aren’t any good. The Falcons on the other hand are one of the few undefeated teams. Atlanta has been beating people in the trenches on both sides of the ball and as a result they have been running the ball all over people. Falcons win big.

 

Broncos (-4.5) at Browns: Denver

The Broncos have won all all three of their road games by larger margins than this 4.5 point spread, and against arguably better competition. Their defense is going to eat up the Browns and you can bet that the offense will do enough to cover in this one.

 

Bengals (-3.5) at Bills: Bengals

This is a tricky but I think the Bengals have proven that they are a much better team than the Bills. Add to that the fact that the Bills will be without Tyrod Taylor, LeSean McCoy, and possibly Sammy Watkins, and I could see them getting shut out. The Bills defense will keep it close for a bit but they won’t be able to keep up with what has been a very, very good Bengals squad.

 

Chiefs at Vikings (-3.5): Vikings

The Chiefs were in trouble before Jamaal Charles went down for the year with a torn ACL. Now that their best player is gone, I think things could start to get real ugly in Kansas City. I see Teddy and Adrian going wild over a Chiefs defense that has been pretty disappointing this season. Vikes cover at home.

 

Texans (-1) at Jaguars: Jaguars

A battle of two bad teams means that home field will probably determine the winner. The Texans have the better defense and the Jags have actually looked pretty decent on offense. This one could go either way but I see Blake Bortles avoiding J.J. Watt for long enough to work some magic and win at home.

 

Bears at Lions (-3): Lions

These two teams are even worse than the previous two. I’m going Lions here only because they have got to win at some point right? I’m just assuming they will do it by a touchdown.

 

Redskins at Jets (-6): Redskins

The Jets are going to win this one at home but I don’t think it will be by that much. The Redskins have been bad but their defense ranks in the top half of the league. For that reason I think they will keep it close and cover the spread.

 

Cardinals (-3) at Steelers: Cardinals

How about them Cardinals, eh? Despite having a loss against the Rams at home, they deserve to be in the conversation for best team in the league, along with the Patriots and Packers. Their offense is electric, with Carson Palmer looking 10 years younger, and the defense is perhaps the most opportunistic bunch in football. The Steelers will probably still have Mike Vick throwing the ball. For these reasons, the Cardinals cover and win big.

 

Dolphins at Titans (-2.5):  Titans

To be honest this one could go either way. The Titans have shown just enough for me to believe that they cover at home.

 

Panthers at Seahawks (-7): Panthers

Have the oddsmakers watched the Seahawks this season? In all reality they should be 1-4 but they got bailed out by the refs in Detroit a few weeks back. I’m not sure they win this one straight up, let alone by 7. Take the Panthers.

 

Chargers at Packers (-10): Packers

Always take the Packers.

 

Ravens (-2.5) at 49ers: 49ers

There’s a lot of games between bad teams this week and this is another one of ’em. The fact that they are at home, along with Carlos Hyde’s work on the ground will make the difference for the 49ers.

 

Patriots (-8) at Colts: Patriots

See the explanation for picking the Packers above.

 

Giants at Eagles (-3.5): Giants

I have a feeling that the Giants will be winning in this game late in the 4th quarter and then will find a way to lose by a slim margin. Because of that I choose Giants because they will lose, but only by 2 points.

 

Cowboys, Raiders, Buccaneers, Rams: All on their bye week

 

 


 

 

 

Last week’s record: 8-5-1

 

Season Record: 38-37-2

 

 

 


SBS NFL Picks Against the Spread: Week 5

Written by :
Published on : October 7, 2015

 

I finally got my act together last week and posted a winning record. Sure, it was by the slimmest of margins and possibly aided by the fact that there was one less game, but I’ll take my 8-7 finish. This slate of games is a bit tricky and there are some very tempting spreads, but it seems to make sense to go with the favorite on a lot of these. The teams are starting to really settle in and take final form now that they’ve got a full quarter of the season under their belts and it’s becoming clear who the best teams are. With that said, let’s take a look at the winning NFL Picks Against the Spread for week 5.

 

Winning picks in italics

 

Colts (-3) at Texans: Colts

The Colts haven’t been great but neither have the Texans, and Indy has their star quarterback returning to the field (presumably). I’ve said this before but Luck has to start putting it together eventually and this seems like a good divisional road game to get the team back on track. Take the Colts to cover.

 

Jaguars at Buccaneers (-3): Jaguars

The Jags almost pulled off the upset last week but couldn’t get out of their own way. This week they are lucky enough to play a much less talented team in the Bucs. Jameis Winston should just change his name to “booty” because everything he has been producing the last few weeks has been crap. I can definitely see the Jaguars going down to Tampa and getting the win behind a strong game from their offense.

 

Bills (-2.5) at Titans: Bills

Rex Ryan is going to give his team hell this week in practice after they absolutely fell apart last week. They are going to come back on fire against the Titans and win by much more than the 2.5 point spread. Look for a big game out of Tyrod Taylor.

 

Browns at Ravens (-6.5): Browns

This is a division game and the Ravens haven’t exactly looked great so far this season. The Browns will cover this one, but it might be uncomfortably close.

 

Redskins at Falcons (-7.5): Falcons

The Falcons have looked really good this year and Julio Jones looks like the best wide receiver in all of football. The ‘Skins have looked much better than I originally thought they would but I don’t think they hold up in Atlanta and The Falcons win this by 2 touchdowns.

 

Bears at Chiefs (-9.5): Bears

I know the Bears have been bad all season but the Chiefs haven’t beat anybody by this many points and they still aren’t exactly airing the ball out. I think the Chiefs win at home but with a spread like this I’m taking anyone they play.

 

Saints at Eagles (-5): Saints

I’m sorry but Chip Kelly’s newly re-designed Eagles just aren’t very good. Maybe they shouldn’t have ditched all of their best players, but that’s another discussion for another time. Meanwhile the Saints aren’t very good either, but they still have Drew Brees and he will keep this one close enough for the Saints to cover the spread.

 

Rams at Packers (-9): Packers

Same thing I said last week. If the Pack is at Lambeau then you take them. No matter the spread, you just take them….. God I hate them.

 

Seahawks at Bengals (-3): Bengals

The Bengals are legitimately in the discussion for one of the best teams in the league and the Seahawks are coming off of an emotional win at home that they barely got and probably didn’t deserve. The ‘Hawks just aren’t the same team they’ve been for the last 4 years or so. Andy Dalton and his crew of offensive weapons will cover this spread and get the win.

 

Cardinals (-2.5) at Lions: Cardinals

The Cardinals took a bit of a step backward last week with a home loss to the Rams, but the Lions are a team that finds new and exciting ways to lose games each and every week. They will do the same this week and the Cardinals will cover the spread.

 

Patriots (-9) at Cowboys: Patriots

Another large spread that tempted me to take the underdog. But then I remembered that Brandon Weeden is the Cowboys QB and I came to my senses. It’s the Patriots, and all they do is win.

 

Broncos (-5) at Raiders: Raiders

The Broncos are thus far undefeated, but this seems like the perfect trap game for them. The Raiders have actually looked decent at times this year and in this divisional game at home.  I can see them at least covering the spread, if not winning outright.

 

49ers at Giants (-7): 49ers

The Giants are going to win this game at home, but I don’t think it will be by 7 points. I can see Eli making a few mistakes and letting the 49ers hang around long enough for them to cover the spread.

 

Steelers at Chargers (-3): Steelers

It seems like the Chargers have had a million injuries and that is going to catch up to them in this game. I know that Big Ben is out but I think the Steelers just have too many other weapons on offense for them to not at least cover the spread.

 

Dolphins, Vikings, Jets and Panthers: Bye week

 


 

 

Last week’s record: 8-7

 

Season Record: 30-32-1

 

 

 


ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 4

Written by :
Published on : September 30, 2015

 

 

Week 3 of the NFL football season is in the books, and here at ScoreBoredSports there was a lot of “Winning” with our NFL Staff Picks, to quote Charlie Sheen. That’s right all of our NFL “gurus” came in with winning records this week, with none of us predicting less than 10 winners, so I’ll cheers to all of you on that. Our big winners this week were Bruno and myself finishing the week with a gorgeous 13-3 slate.  Through week 3, I am now tied atop the leaderboard with Antoine, who seemed to copy nearly all of my picks last week…wise move. But in all seriousness, for any gamblers out there, continue to check back with Alex for advice on your bets, because after a week like this one, ScoreBoredSports could be your ticket to cashing in big time.

 

The NFL makes its first trip across the pond in 2015 as the New York Jets take on the Miami Dolphins in London. Meanwhile stateside, there are several intriguing storylines: Michael Vick returns to the gridiron in Pittsburgh, Peyton’s wounded ducks have carried the Broncos to a 3-0 start, the Colts breathed a sigh of relief after realizing they still play in the AFC South, nobody can stop Aaron Rodgers, and Tom Brady has the Patriots looking like a 16-0 team again. What does it all mean? Who knows, but let’s take a look at the picks.

 

The ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks for Week 4:

 

SBS NFL Staff Picks: Week 4

 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

 

 


SBS NFL Picks Against the Spread: Week 4

Written by :
Published on : September 30, 2015

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, this is getting a little ridiculous. The degenerate in me thinks that it would almost be better to lose horribly than to keep coming up even-money with all of these NFL Picks Against the Spread, but I digress. The fact is that if you’ve been following my advice you are probably a little poorer than when you started. And we all know that means you aren’t going anywhere. Check out this weeks picks and let’s try to get it together.

 

Winning picks in italics.

 

Ravens (-2.5) at Steelers: Steelers

I realize that the Vegas logic behind making the Steelers underdogs at home is that the Ravens are bound to get a win eventually. I just don’t think that it’s going to happen in Pittsburgh in a divisional matchup. I’ll take those 2.5 points and the Steelers to win.

 

Jets (-1.5) at Dolphins (in London): Jets

I thought for sure the Jets were going to win at home last week but I was wrong and they faltered against a mediocre Eagles squad. Next up, they travel to Wembley Stadium in London to play a Dolphins team that can’t seem to make it work. One of these teams is going to pull it together, and it’s the Jets.

 

Jaguars at Colts (-9.5): Jaguars

The Colts needed a wild comeback to get the win against the Titans. This week they take on the Jaguars in Indianapolis. The spread seems far too wide and I could even see the Jaguars winning outright. But with 9.5 points I’ll take the Jags all day.

 

Texans at Falcons (-6.5): Falcons

This pick is slightly borderline but I think the Texans QB play is the difference maker. No matter who it is, they just aren’t very good under center in Houston. The Falcons are going to continue to feed Julio Jones and Devonta Freeman and beat up on the Texans in Hot-lanta.

 

Panthers (-3) at Buccaneers: Buccaneers

Cam & Co are probably going to win in Tampa Bay, but after they let the lowly Saints hang around far too long last week at home, I see it being close. Jameis is going to start connecting with Mike Evans more often and that means that the Bucs have a chance to win and will cover the spread.

 

Giants at Bills (-5.5): Bills

How about them Buffalo Bills? They have been killing the game this year. The Giants have looked decent too despite two heartbreaking losses, but traveling to Buffalo does not bode well for them. The Bills win this game by 10 or more.

 

Raiders (-3) at Bears: Raiders

The Bears…. Woof. They suck and will keep on sucking. The Raiders might be one of the biggest surprises of the young NFL season. They will continue to trend upward, using the Monsters of the Midway as their next stepping stone.

 

Eagles (-3) at Redskins: Eagles

I guess the Redskins have looked better than I thought they would, but they still aren’t very good. The Eagles are going to start to hit their stride after picking up their first win and are going to run all over the ‘Skins.

 

Chiefs at Bengals (-3.5): Bengals

The  Chiefs will be coming off of a short week after getting murdered in Green Bay on Monday Night Football. Sadly for them, they are going to run right into the heel of AJ Green’s cleat. He and Andy Dalton have been on fire, and I’m not just referring to the latter’s hair. It’s going to be a blowout in Cincy.

 

Browns at Chargers (-7.5): Browns

The Browns were very disappointing in the home game against the Raiders last week. But then again, so were the Chargers, who got bitch-slapped up and down the field in Minnesota. The Chargers will win at home but it will be closer than the spread indicates. Take the Browns and those 7.5 points.

 

Packers (-8.5) at 49ers: Packers

Jesus Christ I hate the Packers, but take them. Always. No matter what the spread is.

 

Vikings at Broncos (-6.5): Vikings

Have the oddsmakers seen these two teams play the last few weeks? The Vikings will keep it much closer than this, even if they don’t win straight-up. Take AP, Teddy and those 6.5 points.

 

Rams at Cardinals (-6.5): Cardinals

Part of me wants to take the Rams here and believe that they are going to get back to their week 1 form. But the Cardinals are just too damn good, and they’re at home.

 

Cowboys at Saints (-4): Cowboys

The Cowboys are in a pickle until they get Dez and Tony back, but the Saints are just complete and utter garbage, especially on defense. Take the ‘Boys.

 

Lions at Seahawks (-9.5): Lions

The Lions are in huge trouble and their season is on life support. If they don’t win this one it will be time to start planning for 2016. I still think they lose, it’s just closer than most people think it will be.

 

Patriots and Titans: Both have off for their bye week.

 

 


Last week’s record: 7-9

 

Season Record: 22- 25-1

 

 


Champ and Chump: Week 2

Written by :
Published on : September 26, 2015

 

 

 

I’m a little late with my winners and losers of the champ and chump awards from this past weekend. But better late than never I suppose, and I used the extra time to nominate someone for an achievement from Tuesday even though it came after the weekend.  It’s my own article after all, so if you take issue with that then I’ll see you in the comments section! Without further adieu, here are my picks for champ and chump from this past weekend.

 

Champ: Jason Day

Won the BMW Championship on Sunday, becoming the #1 ranked player in the world.

Jason Day has been killing it recently.

 

About a month ago, I wrote a piece about how golf was in great hands with a young star like Jordan Spieth. In the article, I gave just a small nod to Jason Day as well by saying he also appeared to be ready for stardom, but apparently that compliment didn’t do him justice because since then, Day has been the one to take over the PGA Tour. By winning this past weekend’s event, Day has now won 4 out of his last 6 tournaments and is within striking distance this weekend to take home another prize. The winner of the Tour Championship this weekend ultimately could also decide the PGA Player of the Year award, an award that is likely up for grabs between Spieth and Day.

 

Honorable Mention:

Chicago Cub Starter Jake Arrieta- First pitcher in MLB to reach 20 wins this season. 2015 stats- 20-6, 1.88 ERA, 0.90 WHIP

LSU Running Back Leonard Fournette- Heisman hopeful ran for 228 yards and 3 touchdowns in a 45-21 thumping of Auburn.

Our very own Treasure Gutierrez- Perhaps less knowledgable than some of us here at ScoreBoredSports when it comes to football, but comes out and wins the week in NFL Staff Picks, going 9-7 here at the site, making the rest of us look like the Chumps.

 

 

Chump: DeMarco Murray

By far the coolest thing DeMarco has done this season.

 

DeMarco Murray was the catalyst behind the Cowboy’s season last year, rushing for over 1,800 yards. As he went, so did the rest of the offense. This past off-season, Murray decided to sign with the division rival Philadelphia Eagles and was expected to put up similar numbers in Chip Kelly’s high-powered offense. Through two games however, that has not been the case at all, as Murray was completely shut down against his former team. Murray finished with 2 just yards rushing and has just 11 yards for the season on 21 carries. How bad is his start to the 2015 season? Well, consider this, while it’s only been a couple games, last year Murray rushed for almost 2,000 yards, at this rate this season, he is projected to finish with just 88 yards.  Philadelphia is off to an 0-2 start and while Murray isn’t their only problem, averaging 0.5 yards per carry is definitely isn’t helping.

 

Dishonorable Mention:

NFL Survivor Pools- For thousands of leagues, (mine included) week 2 busted many survivor pools this past week. Upsets like Tampa over New Orleans, Oakland beating Baltimore and Jacksonville shocking Miami eliminated a lot of us before we even saw it coming. Damn you Drew Brees!

Ndamukong Suh- This is perhaps unfair because it’s somewhat speculation, but the guy makes the headlines for the wrong reasons seemingly every week. The latest being some reports that Suh “freelances” plays on defense, ignoring his assignment for the plays that are called.

Jamaal Charles- He put up good stats against Denver on Thursday night, but had two critical fumbles. The last one returned 21 yards for the game winning touchdown with 27 seconds left.

 

 


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