All Joke NBA Free Agency Tracker

Written by :
Published on : July 12, 2016

 

In the wake of the trillions of dollars already spent in this madness known as NBA free agency, we bring you a satirical look at the current free agent market with our All Joke Free Agency Tracker. These are jokes people, so don’t get all butt-hurt. Well, until they come true.

 

– President Barack Obama signs with the Washington Wizards. When asked about the 4yr/$83 million contract, the small forward said “I love the city, I love the game but I told them it’s gotta be a four year deal, with an option for four more years.”

 

-Air Bud joins the New York Knicks. Listed as a power forward, how will Bud fit in with Derrick Rose, Carmelo Anthony, Joakim Noah and Kristap Porzingis? More importantly, can Air Bud stay out of legal trouble in the big city (lots of cars to chase if you know what I mean) to earn his massive 3yr/$61 million dollar contract?

 

Air_Bud_Header

 

– The Los Angeles Lakers finally get their big man of the future in Dwight Howard. But before Dwight can sign his 6yr/$153 million dollar deal, he is informed at he has already signed with the Atlanta Hawks and that he already came to LA and it didn’t work. Bummer.

 

– LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh all opt out of their deals to join the Toronto Raptors at the veteran minimum. Sources say Bosh only ever agreed to go to Miami if the Big 3 would eventually go to Toronto to finally bring home a championship to Canada. As rapper Drake requested.

 

– While at a Brooklyn Nets charity event, actor/comedian Adam Sandler is mistaken for a pro hooper because of his basketball shorts and athletic physique and offered 1yr/$8 million deal. Nets need another ball handler and scorer but Sandler is not the solution. Thankfully for the Nets, Sandler turned down the deal stating “I can take a crap in a red envelope and send it to Netflix and they pay me $80 million dollars. Shabadadooooo!” 

 

sandler hoops

 

– LeBron opts out of his Toronto deal and announces he is “coming home” to Cleveland. Again. To help restore the city back to its 2016 glory. Because in those few minutes he was gone, fans set his jerseys on fire and those flames spread downtown and destroyed most of the skyline.

 

– Reggie Miller comes out of retirement to give the Indiana Pacers another quality shooter to help star, Paul George, get into the playoffs. The offer is a reported 2yr/$17 million. After hearing details of the contract, sister Cheryl Miller works out for the Pacers and is quickly signed to a 3yr/$27 million sheet.

 

– Ice Cube had at least four teams including Golden State, Houston, Dallas and Detroit interested in him after he “messed around and got a triple double” but it has been revealed that those stats were inflated. Cube did record 21 points, 11 rebounds and 23 blocks in one game, but he was playing one-on-one with Kevin Hart. At this time no one is offering Cube a deal, other than TBS. But that’s for a family TV show.

 

cube hart

 

– Trickshot experts Dude Perfect sign with the Los Angeles Clippers. The amount is undisclosed but I’m not sure the front office understands that they are a crew of guys and not just one player. Either way, Dude Perfect should bring some much needed three point shooting and entertainment to the Clip Show.

 

– And the last thing off the Free Agency Tracker isn’t a major contract but some juicy breaking news. It is being reported that NBA analyst, Stephen A. Smith, has lost his cell phone. Please help him find it. It’s a black iphone 4S with a cracked screen and Buzz Lightyear case. He needs it for work so please help. Until it shows up, just message him on Facebook.

 

That’s all for now. Keep your ears to the hardwood for more news, gossip and bullshit from the All Joke NBA Free Agency Tracker. Who knows who will be on the move the next? Only God and Larry Bird know for sure.

 

Track, don’t stalk.

 

 


The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: NBA Logos

Written by :
Published on : June 21, 2016

 

 

 

We’re back for the newest edition of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, and this time we are focusing on NBA logos. This is a pretty difficult one for the simple fact that almost every NBA logo is some variation of a basketball. I’m going to have to get pretty creative with my reasons here, but it will probably revolve around the fact that I hate your teams colors. Here we go…

 

The Good

HeatLogo

 

Miami Heat- The flaming basketball going through the hoop is totally badass. He’s on fire!

 

Detroit Pistons- It may be simple but it’s a classic. The red, white and blue is perfect for the city that built America. I talk a lot of trash about teams with simple basketball logos in this piece, but my hometown team gets a pass here. Sorry, not sorry.

 

Golden State Warriors- Not normally a fan of the color yellow, but for the Golden State Warriors it works. And the silhouette of the bridge is just beautiful.

 

Celtics Logo

 

Boston Celtics- This logo features a totally chill leprechaun spinning a basketball on his finger while smoking a pipe. I hate the team, but I love this logo.

 

Chicago Bulls- Another team I hate that has a logo I love. Pissed off bull with no basketball in sight. Once upon a time this was the most feared logo in sports.

 

Memphis Grizzlies- Imposing grizzly bear. Love it.

 

San Antonio Spurs- This logo turns the ‘U’ in the team’s name into a spur, which is the team’s name. Genius. And the black and silver colors are tough as hell.

 

Minnesota Timberwolves- That wolf looks meaner than fuck! That alone wins me over.

 

The Bad

Rockets

 

Houston Rockets: What’s going on here? It’s uninspired and boring. Just change it to a silhouette of James Harden’s beard already.

 

Utah Jazz- One of the NBA logos with mountain in the background. Nothing to do with Jazz music. Fail.

 

Sacramento Kings- I guess there’s a crown there, and some lances crossed in the background. And the purple makes me think of Prince, not a king.

 

Portland Trailblazers- I really like the colors red and black, but that’s about all I like about this thing. What is it, and how does it relate to blazing trails?

 

Los Angeles Lakers- Just a basketball with the name. And the colors of gold and purple are hideous. Sorry Mr Johnson but there’s no magic here.

 

Pacerslogo

 

Indiana Pacers- Hey guys, what if we make the logo the letter ‘P’ with a basketball in the middle!?! Piss off…

 

Denver Nuggets- Another team with a logo featuring a mountain. I think they could have done better here. Give me a grizzled old prospector holding some gold nuggets or something.

 

Cleveland Cavaliers- Once again, you guessed it, a basketball. But this time with a sword going through it. It’s red and yellow but they try to class it up by saying “wine and gold.” Who are they fooling?

 

Brooklyn Nets- The simple black and white looks pretty clean but other than that it’s another lame ass basketball logo.

 

washington_wizards_2015_logo_detail

 

Washington Wizards- The old Wizards’ logo featured this weird looking wizard. I would much rather have that than this oddly phallic current version featuring the Washington Monument.

 

Atlanta Hawks- The old logo was a Hawk with a basketball clutched in its talons. Not bad right? The new logo fails to impress.

 

Phoenix Suns- Another color scheme that doesn’t really jive with me. Plus this thing looks a lot more like a shooting star than a sun.

 

The Ugly

Clippers logo

Los Angeles Clippers-  The newest edition of the Clippers logo blows. Its a ‘C’ with the ‘LA’ inside. Great.

 

Milwaukee Bucks- The Buck kind of sucks. And the colors are garbage.

 

New Orleans Pelicans- A pissed off pelican featuring the colors red, blue and gold. They should have been called the New Orleans Dogs, because this thing is ugly. Woof!

 

Thunder logo

 

Oklahoma City Thunder- How do you make a visual representation of thunder? I have no idea and neither do the Thunder.

 

New York Knicks- These colors are hideous. Enough said.

 

Philadelphia 76ers- Red, white and blue, and some stars. And and awful basketball team. The logo is kind of ugly but not as ugly as the product they put on the court every year.

 

Dallas Mavericks- Another basketball with a weird looking profile of a stallion inside of it. No thanks.

 

Raptors logo

 

Toronto Raptors- Another team that totally fucked up by ditching their old logo. It used to be a totally rad, basketball-playing, cartoon raptor. Now, it’s a weak basketball with three claw marks going through it.

 

Charlotte Hornets- Sure, the old Hornets’ logo was pretty cartoonish but it was far superior to what the team has now. This attempt to looking threatening falls far short of scaring anyone. Except for those colors. Those are pretty awful.

 

Orlando Magic- Nothing magical here.

 

I would have to say that overall, I think most NBA logos kind of suck. There’s just too many basketballs. We know you’re a basketball team, why don’t you be more creative with your logo. Props to those teams that do have something cool going on, and feel free to tell me why you think I’m full of shit down in the comments section.

 

 


3 Improbable ways the Raptors can beat the Cavs

Written by :
Published on : May 17, 2016

 

You may have read my Western Conference Finals preview, highlighting three reasons the Thunder will beat the Warriors, and three reasons the Warriors will beat the Thunder. I’m obviously a man of clear, concise opinions. Well this one is going to be a little different. With my apologies to Drake, I just don’t think the Raptors have a realistic shot to beat the Cleveland Cavaliers. I know, Toronto fans feel like they get no respect. They’re playing up in Canada with no nationally televised games and no one is taking them seriously, even with second best record in the Eastern Conference.

 

But the fact is, you’re going up against a team that has LeBron James, Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love. Your answer to that is DeMar DeRozan, Kyle Lowry, and Jonas Valanciunas, who’s out for game one and doubtful for game two. Don’t get me wrong, those are good players, but Cleveland has great players. You’re running into a Cavs team that’s playing their best ball since bringing LeBron back to Cleveland and assembling their big three. The Cavs swept their way through the first two rounds with ease, while out-Warriors-ing the Warriors by shooting a ridiculous 46.2% from beyond the arc while knocking down 16.8 three-pointers per game.

 

There’s always one big question for any team preparing for a series against LeBron James: Who’s going to guard him? Toronto’s big offseason free agent acquisition, DeMarre Carroll, will likely take the bulk of this task, as he did as a member of the Hawks last season when they were swept by the Cavs. LeBron averaged 30.3 points, 11.0 rebounds and 9.3 assists in that series (not too shabby). Carroll is an underrated player, and he’s capable of playing the lockdown defender role at times, but that tends to change when the man you’re trying to lock down is LeBron James.

 

I’m not trying to bring you down, Raptors fans. I just see two teams that are on completely different levels right now. Is it possible that the Raptors could knock off the Cavaliers and advance to the NBA Finals? Sure. But a lot of crazy stuff would have to happen to lead to that result. So here it is…

 

 

3 Improbable ways the Raptors can beat the Cavs:

 

1. LeBron retires

LeBron press conference
                                         We just hope he wears that hat to the retirement press conference.

 

LeBron James never really runs into serious injuries, so it might be more likely that he retires before, or during, the Eastern Conference Finals. Maybe he pulls a Michael Jordan and wants to try another sport while he still has some good years left in his body. There’s always been talk that he could play in the NFL. OTAs start in about a week for most teams, so if he wants to take a shot at a football career, now is the time. Or maybe he decides he wants to leave Cleveland again and go back to Miami, but he wants to get it over with before Cavs fans get their championship and become that much more attached. If, by some unforeseen circumstance, LeBron James doesn’t end up playing in the series, the Raptors would have a pretty good shot. Unfortunately, they will likely be facing a Cavaliers team that will feature LeBron James playing a lot of minutes in every game and doing a lot of incredible LeBron James things. This means Cleveland will likely be coasting back into the NBA Finals. Unless…

 

 

2. The Cavs get Bismack’d!

Get Bismack'd!
                                                                                  Get Bismack’d!

 

Ok, I’ll admit, I just wanted to work Bismack’d into an article… But the Raptors backup center, Bismack Biyombo, will actually be a key factor in this series. Not only does he feature one of the best names in the NBA, but he proved he can be a force down low against Miami. When starting center, Jonas Valanciunas, went down in game three with a sprained ankle, Biyombo stepped in admirably. Starting the final four games of the series, Biyombo averaged 11.0 points, 12.0 rebounds, and 2.5 blocks per game.

 

Biyombo has shown he’s up for the challenge before. In the 22 games he started in the regular season, he averaged 12.2 rebounds and 2.0 blocks. He also led the league in Bismacks, but apparently that’s still not an official NBA statistic. He’s an athletic, high energy big man who can rebound on both sides of the court, swat shots, and find ways to get points down low. Sure, it may be overly optimistic to think Bismack Biyombo could be the secret weapon that gives Toronto an edge against Cleveland. But with Valanciunas expected to miss the first game, and likely more, the Raptors will need to rely heavily on their Congolese big man. I’m just hoping he plays well enough to keep his name relevant so I can keep saying Bismack Biyombo. Try it: Bismack Biyombo… Watch out Cleveland, or you might just get Bismack’d!

 

 

3. The Raptors make the Cavs a one-man show

Can they make him do it alone?
                                                              Can they make him do it alone?

 

I’ll admit it, the odds of LeBron James retiring in the middle of the conference finals are very slim. The odds of Bismack Biyombo putting the Raptors on his shoulders and leading them to a major upset over Cleveland might be even slimmer, regardless of how cool his name is. Unless the Raptors are counting on a series of shocking misfortunes to strike the Cavaliers, much like the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant softball team faced, causing Mr. Burns to lose all of his MLB ringers leading up to their big game against Shelbyvillle, Toronto will have to find a way to limit the effectiveness of as many Cavs as possible.

 

They’re not going to stop LeBron, but they can do their best to tempt him into shooting instead of letting him drive to the hole, draw fouls, get dunks and lay-ups, and make amazing passes to open shooters. If they clog up driving and passing lanes and limit LeBron’s ability to rack up assists, he’ll still do some damage in other ways, but it will at least help take guys like J.R. Smith and Channing Frye out of the game. It will also force Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love to create offense on their own instead of relying on LeBron’s playmaking abilities.

 

Kyle Lowry can potentially outplay Irving and win the point guard battle, and Love can be mentally taken out of games when he gets frustrated. Bottom line, the Raptors need to do a much better job limiting the production of Cleveland’s ensemble cast (we’ll call them the LeBronnettes) than the Hawks did, and they are certainly capable of doing that. But even if Toronto does turn Cleveland into a one-man show, that one man is still LeBron freaking James! Remember, when Springfield lost all their ringers, they still had one left: Darryl Strawberry. That one man was still able to lead them to victory (I know, Mr. Burns pinch-hit Homer for Strawberry and Homer got beaned with the bases loaded to score the winning run, but that totally ruins my analogy).

 

Cavs in 5.

 

 


Whoomp There It Is! Cleveland Cavaliers go off

Written by :
Published on : May 6, 2016

 

Whoomp! There It Is! Whoomp! There It Is! Party people, it was a three point party at the Quicken Loans Arena this past Wednesday in round two, game two. The Cleveland Cavaliers took on the Atlanta Hawks at home­ not only to win it, but to break the record for most 3 point shots ever scored in a single NBA game!!! The record for any game was 23 set by the Houston Rockets in 2013 and Orlando Magic in 2009. The Warriors had previously set the playoff record 11 days prior (without Steph Curry), scoring 21 threes…but that didn’t last long!

 

The whole season all we heard about was Steph Curry shooting threes here, shooting threes there. But come playoff time, the Cavs have proven that they can do that too, and even better! Fact is, we have a lot of good three point shooters: J.R. Smith, Love, Irving (even though he can take it to the house quite well too), Frye, Williams, Jones (when they play him), LeBron, and hell yes Richard Jefferson! I’m sure I’m missing a few. PS. Anyone remember that dope one­-handed dunk from Shumpert? That’s just called keepin’ it real.

 

Cavs 2

 

So all this being said, I was secretly wishing and hoping that Mo Williams would have been the one to actually break the record by scoring the 24th three pointer last night. To my surprise, they brought in my beloved Mo come time the fourth quarter. The entire game I was wondering, where is Mo? Why don’t they ever play Mo? Dress Mo? My Mo prayers were answered.

 

But as soon as Mo got in the game, he started to pass the ball. Is this Tyronn telling him to ease off on the shooting? Don’t be a ball hog? I don’t know, but I wanted to see Mo reign and conquer. And he almost did… right after reserve, Dahntay Jones, broke the ice and the record. Mo’s three was like the cherry on top of the sundae. Magic Number 25! And being the class act that he is, he held the ball in the last moments of the Cavs possession, so as to not rub it in.

 

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. According to Charles Barkley, we were rubbing it in, maybe even being disrespectful to the Hawks. I don’t think so, Chuck. I love you, but you know that the Golden State Warriors would have taken advantage of the opportunity just the same ­they just wouldn’t have scored so many threes. And to touch on Barkley’s comment that the Hawks needed to take someone out of the game ­ this isn’t hockey, Chuck. Yes, the rules and regulations have made the NBA a bit soft, but this is not bush league. We saw enough of that last year.

 

charles-barkley

 

Sidenote: I think I saw LeBron and J.R. trying to convince Lue to put J.R. back in to make the record breaking shot. But maybe that was Lue’s way of punishing J.R. for folding under pressure just like Origami in the past. It’s okay. J.R. made his mark by making 7 out of 13 three point attempts. He was kind of the rain­maker after all.

 

Okay to recap the playoffs for the Cavs thus far:

 

1. The Cavs have dominated the Hawks so far and will hopefully sweep them just like last year.

 

2. The Pistons put up a good fight, especially in game one. Regardless, they kept the Cavs on their toes and prepared them for round two and another great three­ point shooting game.

 

3. Mo Williams will play sometimes. Just not sure how often.

 

4. The big three maybe meshing quite well now. And with the powerhouse three point
shooter J.R. Smith on a hot streak, maybe it’s the big four.

 

5. J.R. has not folded under pressure…yet. Hopefully, he can keep up his confidence and perform in the Playoffs / Finals accordingly.

 

6. Varejao has been returning to Cleveland for sleepovers. (I have no actual evidence of this, other than the massive amount of empty pizza boxes, curly hairs, and nacho debris left behind.)

 

 

Havin' a ball
                                                                            Havin’ a ball 

 

7. They look like they’re having fun. They look like they’re rested. They look good.

 

8. The Heat might be hot, but these Cavs are on fire!

 

9. J.R. Smith is the new Steph Curry.

 

10. Draymond Green should not be making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on air. It’s boring.

 

11. Bone Thugs N Harmony have already done one half time show. We’ll be seeing them at the Crossroads again soon. Thanks Uncle Charley and Uncle Drew.

 

12. We don’t care about second place.

 

13. I won’t make 25 points….I’ll just skip to 25.

 

25. Jock Jams are still cool. Let’s Go Cavs!

 

#AllIn4Realzthistime

 

 


2015 NBA EASTERN CONFERENCE PREVIEW

Written by :
Published on : October 13, 2015

 

Fall is by far my favorite time of the year. We get football, the October Classic in baseball, and now NBA Basketball. What’s more is that we’re only about 2 weeks from Opening Tip Off! Last season was great in terms of team play and the evolving spread-the-floor/”3 and D” tactics. Although there was no major shifting of power between the two conferences, the Eastern conference hierarchy changed with the relocation of LeBron James from South Beach to Cleveland. The conference was also hit hard with injuries to their stars in comparison to the West. Assuming everyone is coming back at full health, here are my preseason Power Ranking for the Eastern Conference.

 

*Note: This is not an indication of playoff seeding

 

15. Philadelphia 76ers

Coach Brett Brown has his work cut out for him but will be given time to make it work.

 

“Trust The Process” is the slogan in the City of Brotherly Love. The team began that process roughly three seasons ago, trading away All-Star PG Jrue Holiday. Since then the team has drafted big men in three consecutive drafts, while acquiring draft picks to build their team cheap, while staying away from free agency. With Joel Embiid on the mend, the team drafted Jahlil Okafor 3rd overall in the 2015 Draft. Paired with Center Nerlens Noel, Okafor stands to see significant time at the power forward position. With a “replacements” cast around him and Noel, they will be a sub-20 win team for yet another season. Coach Brett Brown has a long leash that many coaches don’t get due to the rebuilding process. Hopefully, the process ends sooner than later for all parties involved.

 

14. Orlando Magic

A lot of young talent on this team with no coaching to spearhead their development. Shooting guard Victor Oladipo came out of college with Dwayne Wade comparisons. He is a good player but has to take his game to the next level for the team to crack the top 8. Elfrid Peyton meanwhile has the make up of a young Rajon Rondo, sans the attitude. This team will be competitive in many games and may even win 30. However, coach Scott Skiles must take advantage on his 3rd opportunity to lead a team. With no veteran presence I think this is a bad fit.

 

13. Brooklyn Nets

Will the Nets continue to squander Joe Johnson’s talent?

 

The fire sale is just getting started. With PG Deron Williams gone, the team must decide what to do with SG Joe Johnson. He has thrived in great offensive systems in Atlanta and Phoenix but has struggled in Brooklyn. He is not a clutch player and is too mild mannered to lead a team. Center Brook Lopez has struggled to stay healthy and most of his work comes underneath the basket. Coach Lionel Hollins of Isley Brothers fame (ok, I couldn’t resist! He does look like he will do a spin and sing ‘For the loveee of you!’) is a good coach but he needs his own players. When in doubt pass the ball to Andrea Bargnani, said no one ever.

 

12. Charlotte Hornets

When an injury to Michael Kidd-Gilchrist during the preseason is breaking news it says a lot about the lack of talent on your roster. Think about this; the Hornets acquired Jeremy Lin this summer. I could end my analysis there but I digress. Center Al Jefferson has been a solid player in the league since coming out of high school. He is an offensive force and I would argue that if he had not gotten hurt last season, the Hornets would have made the playoffs. I do like the addition of Nicholas Batum and the draft pick of Frank Kaminsky. It does not help to have Kemba Walker as your starting point guard and I think that will keep them out the postseason.

 

11. New York Knicks

With Carmelo at the helm, this ship will continue to sink.

 

I’ll make this one brief. Unless Phil Jackson can turn water into wine, make that roster into the 12 Disciples, and make Carmelo Anthony into a person slightly interested in defense, this team will be taking trade inquiries for Anthony by Christmas. There’s no way this team, as currently constructed, will make the playoffs with Anthony as the primary player.

 

10. Detroit Pistons

Coach Stan Van Gundy is making this Pistons team in the image of the Orlando Magic team that he led to the NBA Finals with a young Dwight Howard at center. Andre Drummond has unlimited potential as a defensive force in this league. Whereas Howard had limitations offensively that were masked by putback dunks, Drummond will have time to develop as Van Gundy places offensive weapons around him. Van Gundy still has to acquire more 3-point players to create the spacing needed to have the team where he would like it. PF Marcus Morris is capable of shooting mid range shots but Van Gundy must get a true stretch 4 in the mold of a Ryan Anderson. This team is on the cusp of being in the playoffs this season with some more roster movement.

 

9. Indiana Pacers

Can Paul George coexist with Monta Ellis?

 

There’s a lot to like about this team. Small forward Paul George will come back a more efficient player after that devastating leg injury. Although there’s speculation that he will play more 4 this year, he is best suited to defend the 3 position, as well as facilitate the offense from the perimeter. The team drafted Myles Turner but it will take time for him to develop into a solid center. I have never liked George Hill as the primary ball handler and point guard. He is not remotely close to a competent point guard and the team has failed to address that position. The addition of SG Monta Ellis will give the team another scoring option but how will that mesh with George’s touches? This team can be supplanted by The Pistons or Hornets if it fails to address the point guard and power forward positions.

 

8. Toronto Raptors

Despite having one of the best fan bases in the league this team will take a fall in the hierarchy of the East, but I still feel it’s a good team. The problem is that all their star players have reached their ceiling. PG Kyle Lowry is what he is now, a pitbull defender and an emotional leader. There is no improvement on the offensive end of the floor and I think the ball is glued to his hands at times. SG Demar Derozan is another player that has reached his peak far too early in his career. He is a solid 20 point per game player but does not offer much more than that. Outside of a 51 point game last season, SF Terrence Ross is merely a slasher. Collectively, this team has had chances the past two seasons with injuries on opposing teams to make a charge for the Finals and failed to do so. Coach Dwane Casey has to be exasperated with the lack of talent he has to work with. Anytime you trade one number 1 bust pick (Bargnani) with another (PF Anthony Bennett) you are in a world of hurt.

 

7. Milwaukee Bucks

Jason Kidd has a very young and talented team. Now he just has to lead them.

 

Coach Jason Kidd has to be the luckiest son of a gun ever. He walked in to an abundance of riches in talent and potential. His starting lineup last season had an average height of 6’6″, best in the league. The average age of his team is 25. This is without having arguably his best player in SF Jabari Parker. With his team intact, I think they can land from 3 to 8 in playoff seeding. They’re scary good. In a league where offense is the focus, his team was near the top in several defensive rankings. The length of his team starting with PG Michael Carter-Williams, SG Giannis Antetokounmpo (6’11”), and the addition of C Greg Monroe will make this team a tough matchup. Monroe is an underrated low post passer who will create more opportunities for the offense. Overall, if not for inexperience I’d have them in my top 4. They’ll be that good this year.

 

6. Boston Celtics

This team’s ranking is because of one man, Brad Stevens. Making the playoffs last year, albeit with a losing record, says a lot about the coaching of this young team. Whereas the Bucks have a talented roster and sufficient coaching, the Celtics have great coaching and decent talent. Acquiring PG Isaiah Thomas was a good pick up and the ongoing development of PG Marcus Smart will make for an interesting pairing in the back court. I am curious how Stevens will foster a good front court between PF Jared Sullinger and C Kelly Olynyk. SG R.J. Hunter is an intriguing draft choice and he fits Stevens profile for a scorer. If this team makes the playoffs it will be a credit to the coaching staff as there is no Alpha Dog on the team speak of. Maybe Evan Turner can truly blossom this year and live up to his 2010 2nd overall draft pick status.

 

5. Chicago Bulls

Jimmy Butler is making the Bulls his team.

 

I prefaced this article by stating my rankings depended on players remaining healthy. At time of publishing, former league MVP PG Derrick Rose will be on the mend from an orbital fracture injury. SG Jimmy Butler benefited most from former head coach Tom Thibodeau’s tutelage and he’s a hard nosed two way player. There’s reports that Butler is not enthralled with Rose’s work ethic. Butler is primed to become the unquestioned leader of new head coach Fred Hoiberg’s team. Center Joakim Noah is the same kind of grit and grind player and will eventually become his counterpart over Rose. Hoiberg will allow young players to do what they do best. SF Doug McDermott and PF Bobby Portis will get enhanced roles on the team and will likely lead to the departure of fan favorite PF Taj Gibson. This team will go as far as Butler will take it. Hopefully, Rose will follow.

 

4. Atlanta Hawks

Owners of the conference’s best record last year, the Hawks will take a step back to familiar territory this season. The Hawks have been a perennial playoff team but not contenders. Coach Mike Budenholzer impact has San Antonio Spurs written all over it. The team spreads the floor and plays unselfish ball. They were the first team to lead the conference in wins without a 20 PPG scorer. Absolutely amazing results last year. This year they’ve added some role players to a team of role players. PG Jeff Teague and C Al Horford will lead this team to playoffs again but there’s no player that can match wits with the top three teams of the conference. Coach Bud caught a lot of teams by surprise last year sadly by just playing team ball. This year with several roster changes and players coming back from injury the Hawks will go back to what they know best, a team that’s good but not good enough to win it all.

 

3. Washington Wizards

John Wall and the Wizards will pick up where they left off last season.

 

The back court of this team can rival any in the league. PG John Wall and SG Bradley Beal are growing together and I think will come to fruition this season. Beal was hurt for an extended time last year which led to some losses that otherwise would have propelled them to a better seeding in the playoffs. SF Otto Porter is turning the corner from being a potential bust to a solid contributor on this team. Having former teammate Paul Pierce for a year seems to have stoked his competitive fire and may lead him to a better role on this year’s team. Coach Randy Wittman has to demand more front court depth. The East isn’t deep with prominent front court players but having the depth may put the Wizards over the hump. Definitely keep an eye out for SF Kelly Oubre Jr as he gets minutes behind Beal and Porter.

 

2. Miami Heat

The Heat are by far the deepest team in the Eastern Conference. They’ve kept most of their team intact from their championship run. This year PF Chris Bosh will be healthy after a life-threatening blood clot ailment. PF Josh McRoberts is coming off a season ending injury. C Hassan Whiteside has gained nearly 15 pounds of muscle over the summer. PG Goran Dragic signed a new contract over the summer and the team still has SF Luol Deng, C Chris Anderson, and PG Mario Chalmers. Add the addition of draft pick SF Justice Winslow and you have a very deep roster. The success hinges on the health of SG Dwayne Wade. He showed flashes of “Flash” last year while playing a good number of games. If he can remain healthy and if there is any slippage of the #1 team in my ranking, the Heat will advance to the NBA Finals. They have one of the most underrated coaches in the league in Erik Spoelstra. He has done a phenomenal job of working with the talent he has regardless of the circumstances. If he has a healthy team come June then he has the tools to shock the world.

 

1. Cleveland Cavaliers

It’ll be Lebron’s conference to lose once again.

 

The Cavaliers returning to the Finals has everything to do with one thing, chemistry. The same core players are set to return. The competition shouldn’t differ much from last year. The underlying issue at hand is the chemistry and cohesiveness of it’s Big Three. LeBron James, PG Kyrie Irving, and PF Kevin Love have been great when on the floor together. Although Love has griped about his role in the offense, he can contribute in other ways than he’s accustomed to. Love is an excellent spot up shooter. When LeBron played with Bosh, Bosh was better when he expanded his game outside the paint. It provided LeBron more opportunities near the basket and allowed Bosh to pick and pop for easy 18 footers. It would behoove Love to follow that model. Irving simply has to remain healthy. Many people are quick to write him off as injury prone. Those detractors said the same about PG Stephen Curry when he battled ankle ailments early in his career. Irving must also facilitate the offense and not hog the ball. LeBron is better as a primary decision maker but Irving is a better ball handler. Add in PF Tristan Thompson, SG J.R. Smith, and PG Mo Williams and you have a championship quality team. They have a championship caliber coach in David Blatt (albeit with only international experience) and would be wise to trust in his in-game strategy. If James and Blatt can marry their philosophies they will win the championship this season.

The Eastern Conference will go through Cleveland, Ohio again. Maybe some Heat and Wizard-ry can derail a James 7th Finals appearance.

 

 


Support Us
Support ScoreBoredSports on patreon!

patreon-medium-button
Sponsors

Hide Error message here!

Forgot your password?

Error message here!

Error message here!

Hide Error message here!

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link to create a new password.

Error message here!

Back to log-in

Close