The Cincinnati Bengals stink

Written by :
Published on : September 16, 2017

 

It’s only two weeks into Cincinnati’s season and things are already looking bleak. They are 0-2 after a brutal loss on Thursday Night Football at the hands of the Houston Texans. That was a home game where they lost to a rookie QB making his first ever start. You can’t judge a team by just two weeks but there is little to be hopeful about with the team’s performances so far. Let’s go over everything we know.

 

The Cincinnati Bengals are 0-2 with both losses coming at home. The season opener they were shutout. Just an awful start for the local fans. Franchise star quarterback, Andy Dalton, hasn’t thrown a touchdown yet. Actually, the team has hasn’t scored a touchdown in their first 25 possessions. Dalton has 4 interceptions in that span. Yuck. AJ Green has been the lone bright spot on offense while backs, Gio Bernard, Jeremy Hill and rookie Joe Mixon have all failed to produce a spark. As a reaction, Bengals brass has decided to let offensive coordinator, Ken Zampese, go. Maybe this shake up will help turn things around? Or maybe this will set the unit back even further?

 

Embed from Getty Images

 

The Bengals defense has been decent in terms of points allowed. They gave up 20 to the Ravens in week 1 and only 13 to the Texans in week 2. Those numbers should keep this crew competitive but the issues on offense are so great that sadly it doesn’t really matter what the D does save for scoring on multiple takeaways each outing.

 

One might think, “they are due for a win” well the schedule says otherwise. Week 3 is a trip to Lambeau Field to face the Green Bay Packers. Maybe they score a TD or two but they take another L for sure. That will be 0-3. And with that record, people will be asking for coach, Marvin Lewis’ head. And for good reason. This Cincinnati team has some great skill players but never seem to be able to put it all together. At what point does the ownership let someone else have a shot?

 

Embed from Getty Images

 

Week 4 is at Cleveland. If they lose this battle of Ohio then Lewis will be fired for sure. Some will want Dalton gone too. Maybe he gets traded for picks. There are some stud QB’s coming out of college, so it doesn’t sound far fetched.

 

Maybe this all too knee-jerk from two bad weeks of football. Or maybe the writing is already on the wall. We shall see how it all plays out. But as of right now, the Cincinnati Bengals stink.

 

Bungles .

 

 


Overreaction: NFL Week 2

Written by :
Published on : September 20, 2016

 

 

Week 2 is over. The 2016 season is officially off and running. Some would say it’s still too early to know anything about the identity of teams but those people have obliviously never met me. Listen up while I spout off wild, speculative snap judgements on all 32 NFL teams after only two games completed.

 

– The Bills are 0-2 and their season is already over. It was fun while it lasted Buffalo. Maybe they should have let Rock Star Bon Jovi buy the team a few years back.Well, better luck next time. Living on Prayer.

 

– The Jets offense is great as long as Matt Forte stays healthy and keeps moving them down the field. Without him, this team is doomed to be a sub .500 unit.

 

– The league office still hates the Detroit Lions. The conspiracy continues. In the 15-16 loss to the Titans, the Honolulu Blue and Silver were flagged 17 times for 138 yards. None worse than the two fantom calls that negated TD’s on back-to-back plays. Those calls completely changed the landscape of the game.

 

 

– The Titans are now 1-1 but this crew showed me little to make me believe in them. They exploited a super injury-weakened Lions D and scored some late points but that seems more situational than skill. It was mostly just smart play calling. I’m obviously still salty about this but this team sucks plain and simple.

 

– The Panthers got back on track in week 2 with a solid performance against the 49ers. Cam had 4 TD’s with two going to Kelvin Benjamin. This offense is even better than last year because Benjamin is back. Panthers look bound for another deep playoff run.

 

– San Fransisco blew out the Rams last week and no one knew what to make of them, but hanging with Carolina tells me they are more complete than most think. They leave the bottom of the barrel of last campaign and join the blurry middle of the pack.

 

– The Cincinnati Bengals cannot beat the Steelers. They melted down in the playoffs last year and failed again at Heinz field this Sunday. Marvin Lewis needs to figure a way to slay this dragon or else they might never get Andy Dalton that postseason win.

 

– The Steelers are legit. They score bunches of points and this is all without star running back Le’Veon Bell. If Big Ben stays off IR than the steel city boys are eyeing another division crown and maybe a meeting with the Patriots in the conference finals.

 

 

– Speaking of the AFC North, the 0-2 Cleveland Browns still suck. What’s new? Week 3 may see the Browns start their third QB of the year. Ouch. This team is done. Go hang out with the Bills. Your year is over.

 

– Baltimore is 2-0, sounds great but they barely came back against Cleveland and squeaked by Buffalo week 1. Two close wins against the worst of the NFL does not inspire confidence.

 

– Washington is 0-2 after losses to Dallas and Pittsburgh. Kirk Cousins is playing on the Franchise Tag trying to prove he is worth a big contract. So far, he hasn’t shown that moxie of 2015. Things better turnaround quick or the D.C. area may have to start rebuilding, again.

 

– The Cowboys got their first win with rookies Dak Prescott at QB and Ezikel Elliot at RB. This young team is lead by that great offensive line but I don’t see them going too far with all that inexperience running the show.

 

– Giants are looking good. I talked shit about them before but at 2-0 they are now the favorites to win the NFC East. The defense has played well and they have showed guts in two close contests.

 

 

– The Saints are winless. It feels like the same story every year with these guys. They can score lots of points and Drew Brees keeps it close but they can’t string the W’s together. No chance at the playoffs.

 

– The Miami Dolphins. A squad full of talent and names that never seems to be able to put it all together. Another slow start at 0-2 and Arian Foster is already dealing with health issues. Call the nurse, we have another dead team. Sorry not Sorry.

 

– The New England Patriots are undefeated and playing without Gronk or Brady. Their next two games are at home and untested rookie, Jacoby Brissett, may start at QB for the injured Jimmy Garoppolo. If the Pats are ever going to lose, it may be next week against Houston, but after that, they will probably run the table. As per usual.

 

– The Houston Texans will win the AFC South. They are 2-0 and the most complete team in the division. I’m sure JJ Watt can’t wait to introduce himself to Brissett on Thursday night.

 

– Kansas City Chiefs are a hard team to read. They beat the Chargers week 1 but lost to the Texans. They will hang around the Wild Card spot most of the year only to drop off at the end.

 

 

– The Los Angeles Rams are one of the worst teams in the league. It pains me to type that because they are now my second favorite. It’s a mystery how they beat Seattle but it was a 9-3 ugly affair. They should start planning their draft picks now.

 

– The Seahawks are 1-1 after that bizarre game with L.A. that saw injuries to Thomas Rawls, Tyler Lockett and Russell Wilson. Russ stayed in the game but was clearly ailing. Seattle will weather the storm and make a serious push for the playoffs.

 

– Arizona lost a close one with the Pats in week 1 and took their anger out on the Bucs in week 2. This is a solid team top to bottom. They will be hosting a postseason game. Hopefully Carson Palmer can last that long.

 

– Tampa Bay is 1-1. They have some nice pieces across the roster but don’t get too excited. They are not ready for prime time. Maybe they can finish second in the NFC South. No postseason though.

 

– Jacksonville Jaguars were a breakout pick from many talking heads in the sports world. I’ll admit they have many promising players but they still suck.

 

 

– San Diego Chargers are once again battling the injury bug. Already, key starters Keenan Allen and Danny Woodhead are done for the year. This trend will unfortunately continue because that’s what happens in San Diego.

 

– The Falcons sit at 1-1. Matty Ice leads an even attack that is more than effective but the lack of close out defense will limit Atlanta’s potential. No playoffs for you, one year.

 

– The Raiders have all the tools needed to make the postseason and they will finally punch their ticket this year. Move over Warriors, Oakland’s true love is going to the dance for the first time since 2002.

 

– The Colts can’t stop anybody so they will keep losing. They are 0-2 and have zero chance of winning their division.

 

– Broncos will be playing without DeMarcus Ware for a bit but it’s okay, that defense is still so nasty that they will be in every game. Look for Denver to have another serious playoff run.

 

 

– Green Bay is 1-1 after a win over the Jags and a loss to the rival Vikings. Jordy Nelson doesn’t look 100% and Eddie Lacy is still fat. I hope and pray the wheels fall off but they will probably turn it around all over the my Lions this Sunday.

 

– The Sam Bradford project is working in Minnesota. The Vikings beat the Packers which is all you need to do to win over the locals. The team is 2-0 but may have lost Adrian Peterson for extended time. I still see them in the hunt for a Wild Card birth.

 

– Carson Wentz looks good in two games. The Eagles are 2-0 and those monsters in Philly must be smiling. Just wait for some adversity and those cheers will turn to boos. The Eagles can’t keep this up.

 

– Bears are really bad. Jay Cutler is worse. And the schedule doesn’t get any easier. At least the Cubs are good.

 

Is it week 3 yet?

 

 


Three playoff teams from last year that won’t be back

Written by :
Published on : July 28, 2016

 

 

There are some teams in the NFL who seem like they make the playoffs every single year. These organizations continually field competitive squads that give their fans something to cheer for every Sunday. For the rest of us who aren’t spoiled little shits living in New England, we hope and pray that enough things can go right for us to make the playoffs every once in a while. We are the salt of the earth when it comes to NFL fandom. We know what it’s like to miss the playoffs because it happens more often than not for most franchises. The following playoff teams will be joining us this season in the land of the have-nots as they fall from grace and miss the NFL postseason after making it to the dance last year.

 

Cincinnati Bengals

 

This has got to be the year that Marvin Lewis and the Bengals get exposed. For the first time since 2010 they will not make the playoffs. With the losses of Marvin Jones and Muhammad Sanu, and the injury to Tyler Eifert, I find it hard to believe that they can get back to the postseason. With that much yardage and that many touchdowns out the door, there may be times when the Bengals’ offense looks stagnant. They have some new faces along the offensive line and it might take some time for them all to gel. Because of that, we will see Andy Dalton regress a bit from last season. With the Steelers as the favorites in the division and the Ravens not likely to stay down for long, this could be Cincinnati’s year on the outside looking in.

 

Kansas City Chiefs

 

The Kansas City Chiefs rattled off 11 wins in a row last season before losing to the Patriots in the divisional round of the playoffs. That is no easy feat in the NFL and one that they are not likely to repeat. I still find it kind of unbelievable that they were able to do it last year actually. Andy Reid has been a consistently solid head coach during his career, but too much of this team’s success is predicated on the health of Jamaal Charles and Justin Houston. Both of whom are another knee injury just waiting to happen. If Alex Smith can make some magic they might be headed back to the playoffs but I see the San Diego Chargers as the favorite to win that division, leaving the Chiefs out in the cold.

 

Minnesota Vikings

 

Apologies to staff writers Bryce and Noah, but I can’t help but see the Vikings as anything other than wildly overrated by just about everyone. They are a nice team with some solid pieces, but by no means are they world beaters. They have a talented starting running back in Adrian Peterson to be sure, but he is also getting older by the day. I don’t care what he says, once you get over 30 years old as an NFL running back, the decline in production is real. Without a dominate AP, I don’t think that Teddy Bridgewater can keep the offense afloat. You also have to factor in that the Green Bay Packers should be back in their usual form and that I already picked the Lions to make the playoffs too. That just doesn’t leave much room in the postseason for the Vikings.

 

Sorry to all these teams but you’re in for a disappointing 2016 campaign. You really might as well not even play the season. I’m just kidding. But don’t be surprised to see these guys imploding come December. You heard it here first.

 

 


How to Win your Fantasy Football Championship

Written by :
Published on : November 22, 2015

 

There are only a few weeks left of the regular fantasy football season. Many leagues play until week 13 then have the playoffs weeks 14-17 of the NFL schedule. Here are some pro tips from a pro choice dude that has been playing fantasy for over 10 years. I’ve also won the whole damn thing a few times and am on the podium more often than not (7-3 current record). So listen up if you want to win your fantasy football championship.

 

First things first, you gots to make the playoffs to even have a shot at the gold. Different leagues have different rules but you still need a ticket to the dance. Let’s start with improving your roster. Trades are the best way to drastically change your lineup. Look around your league, who has surplus talent at what positions? What is your weak point? Make a deal. Points on your bench will drive you mad and make you second guess your coaching skills. Stop pulling your hair out deciding between which QB (or WR, RB, TE) to play. Pick your favs, trade the others away and increase the value of your starters.

 

trade

 

Often there is a trade deadline just before the playoffs to make sure a losing squad doesn’t make a shady deal to help a friend. My advice is to make that shady deal NOW while you still can. And if there is no deadline then great, you are free to collude with your buds all you want. If you are new to cheating, this is how collusion works. You are team A and you have a solid group. Your friend is team B and his crew stinks. Team B trades all his good players to team A and then if A wins the championship, the two friends will split the winnings in secret. Betraying your friends’ trust for money, doesn’t that sound fun!

 

bribe

 

Okay, you make the playoffs, what now? Time to step your game up. Trades are off the table so we move to the waiver wire. This is the only source of new blood and the pool should be smaller now that the non-playoff bound owners have mentally checked out. This makes watching the games and staying informed very important. You need to know which star is hurt and who is taking over. My team just lost WR Julian Edelman for the year. My division rival Joe already grabbed Danny Amendola, his likely replacement. In one move, I lost a key weapon and Joe gained a high volume target who will start the rest of the way out. These are the moves champs make.

 

Danny filling the void

 

Anticipate. Save a few bench spots for long shots. Maybe get the backup to one of your opponents’ players and hope they get benched or hurt. Remember that week 17, the championship game for fantasy, is often a game where NFL coaches sit star players if their team already has their playoff situation wrapped up. Like maybe have a back up plan for QB’s Cam Newton, Andy Dalton or Tom Brady for that last game. Staying on top of these small details will help push the odds in your favor.

 

If Cam sits, who you gonna start?

 

Last but not least, pray. I like to make a sacrifice to any number of Pagan deities but you can pick whatever god you are most comfortable with. And just like managing a team, you want to be proactive with your offerings. Don’t waste time trying to make up for bad luck or games lost, instead focus on future contests. Don’t be stingy here. It’s better safe than sorry. Just ask Odysseus (Ulysses for my Latin speaking friends) about the perils of offending the gods.

 

So make trades, stay active on the waiver wire, take a chance on some sleepers and don’t piss off the spirits. If you follow all theses steps then the trophy and bragging rights will soon be yours. Now, don’t say I never gave you nothing.

 

 

 

 


Champ and Chump: Week 5

Written by :
Published on : October 15, 2015

 

 

Welcome back to another installment of Champ and Chump. The Major League Playoffs are in full swing, college football is at the halfway point of the season and we are beginning to separate the contenders from the pretenders around the NFL. Hockey is back, and the NBA is on its way with a few more preseason tilts left for each team. Be sure to check out a couple recent articles by Antoine and Patrick to educate yourself on what to expect from the NHL and NBA this season. As for me this week, here’s a look at the champs and chumps.

 

Champ: University of Michigan Football

Harbaugh and khakis have led the Wolverines to the nation’s top ranked defense.

 

It was only a matter of time before Jim Harbaugh was going to revitalize the football program at Michigan, but I’m not sure even the biggest Wolverine slappy thought it would be this fast. Just like Rome wasn’t built in a day, realistic expectations had Michigan needing a full season under their belts before they could compete for a conference championship, let alone a national championship. After just 6 games, Harbaugh and company look primed and ready for potentially both as they dismantled Northwestern this past weekend 38-0. It was the third consecutive shutout for the Wolverines who have outscored their last three opponents 97-0. Michigan has the nation’s #1 ranked defense and the offense seems to be finding a groove too. Climbing up to #12 in the rankings has folks in Ann Arbor ready to explode and with in-state rival Michigan State coming to town this weekend, expect the college football world to be glued to some Big Ten action.

 

Honorable Mention:

MLB Divisional Rounds- With at least two of the four going to the maximum 5 games and the other two looking like they may as well, the 2015 playoffs have gotten off to an awesome start.

Eli Manning- For as much shit as people give this guy (myself included), he’s having one hell of a season and Sunday Night was no exception. He went 41-54, for 441 yards and 3 touchdowns including the winner with 21 ticks left.

Andy Dalton- Leading the Bengals to an undefeated record thus far is anything but expected but perhaps something we need to get used to. After all, the guy’s made the playoffs every year. He went 30-44, for 331 with 3 touchdowns in an overtime win over the Seahawks Sunday afternoon.

 

 

 

Chump: Bret Bielema

 

If you didn’t see it, Bret Bielema and the Arkansas Razorbacks went down to Tuscaloosa to take on the Crimson Tide this past weekend. While Alabama went on to win the game, Bielema himself looked like a loser on two fronts. One, he coached the losing team, which is no embarrassing feat when you play Bama. However, after an interception in the first half, a little shoving happened, all of it very mild and the type of behavior you’d expect to see on a football field after almost every play. Bielema is seen in a video getting in between the players to separate this “confrontation” that is clearly not going to escalate, and then sells a shove by flopping away from the Bama player, getting the referee to throw a flag. This immature small victory causes Bielema to celebrate like a 5-year old who just knocked down his first couple pins in bumper bowling. I’m a big soccer fan, and much like we see in the NBA nowadays too, I am ok with a little selling of the foul every once in a while. Granted, there better be some contact, I am 100% against completely flopping. In the case with Bielema, you’re a coach. You should be setting the example for the players on the field, and instead you’re desperately trying to sell that to get your team 15 yards? It is cheap, classless and down right embarrassing. Stay on the sidelines and let the players determine the outcome of the game because after all, you were hired to coach. You do remember how to coach right? (12-19 career record at Arkansas)

 

Dishonorable Mention:

Rutgers QB Chris Laviano- Ugh this poor guy. In the final seconds, on 4th down near midfield with his team down 7, he spikes the ball trying to stop the clock turning the ball over to Michigan State.

Golden Tate- Saying that Lion fans have “turned their backs” on the Lions? Really?! You’re 0-5, have one playoff win in 57 years, you find any and every way to lose while making millions of dollars, yet they owe you more?… he has since apologized but the damage is done.

US Men’s Soccer- On Saturday night, the USMNT had one last chance to clinch a spot in the 2017 Confederation’s Cup after losing during the Gold Cup this past summer. Played in Pasadena, California, the US Men got on the board early only to lose 3-2 in extra time. These guys have been absoluty Jekyll and Hyde recently, when it matters most they’ve faltered.

 


Support Us
Support ScoreBoredSports on patreon!

patreon-medium-button
Sponsors

Hide Error message here!

Forgot your password?

Error message here!

Error message here!

Hide Error message here!

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link to create a new password.

Error message here!

Back to log-in

Close