The Pens Won the Stanley Cup and No One Cares

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Published on : June 25, 2016

 

 

You may not have noticed, but the Pittsburgh Penguins won the Stanley Cup and no one (outside of Pennsylvania) seems to care. I dig hockey and I only saw a few games of finals. As stated before, I don’t like either the Penguins or the San Jose Sharks very much but still, something was off here and it wasn’t just me. Most of my hockey loving friends were equally checked out. What was going on? Why wasn’t there more excitement for the biggest stage of NHL competition? I asked a few buddies and tried to figure it out.

 

First stop, SBS’s resident hockey expert, Antoine Poutine. I was certain he would have something super thoughtful and revealing to say. I was kind of surprised by his answer:

“The Stanley Cup was a classic matchup between one of hockey’s all-time great bitches, Sidney Crosby, and hall-of-fame caliber bitch Joe Thornton. I watched it a little bit until it started burning when I peed, which is usually how I react to Crosby. Turning it off was soothing.”

 

 

Next, I talked to Steven, our Pittsburgh fan. At least he must be into it, right? I mean it’s a hometown championship. His words were few but spoke volumes to the phenomenon we are experiencing:

“Well, now I know what it’s like to be a Patriots fan.”

 

Maybe it’s because the Pittsburgh Penguins are so good that it’s boring. Both the outcome and the gameplay seem old hat. Look, I’ll give Phil Kessel his props, but I’m just not that interested. Maybe everyone just really hates the Sharks and Pens. I continued polling the staff and most seemed to agree with the frustration felt by Antoine.

 

Alex:

I could only dislike this more if it was the Blackhawks winning a Stanley Cup.”

 

Noah:

“As soon as Pittsburgh clinched a berth to the Stanley Cup Finals we knew it was over.  Props to SJ for making it interesting but overall I think people cared more about Warriors vs Cavs.”

 

 

Mike:

“It’s baseball season.”

 

Phred:

“I’d be more inclined to keep up with the Stanley Cup if ESPN showed any interest. They’ve got two analysts that cover the entire sport.”

 

Sandy:

“I’m just glad the Sharks and Warriors both lost so the Silicon Valley engineers could stop pretending they like sports and get back to work on the next social media app to look at boobies.”

 

Damn. that’s a lot of shade being thrown around. But all these different voices are pointing at something. A flaw. The NHL would be wise to closely monitor this situation. Looking beyond the ScoreBoredSports staff, we find proof backing up our claim. 2016 saw a steep drop off in TV rating for the Stanley Cup finals. SportsMediaWatch states a 29% drop in viewership since last year. That’s massive. I’m not sure what the league can do beyond pulling strings to keep Pittsburgh out, but it must do something or hockey will be headed for ruin.

 

Leave your thoughts about the Cup, the Pens, the Sharks or how you think we can fix this problem in the comments below.

 

Bored.

 

 

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