We are now looking forward to the Conference Championship and that’s only a stone’s throw from the biggest game around: Super Bowl. Many will fill their favorite bar or restaurant while others will watch in solitude in their living room, but the coolest of your friends will be going to parties on Super Sunday. Now, if you have a buddy that always hosts a party then great. Ask what you can bring and take your shoes off at the door. But if you are like me, you are throwing the shindig and that can get a little tricky. So here is a guide to having one kick-ass Super Bowl party.
The bigger the better. I’m not normally in favor of the giant screen but you need it for the big game. Ideally, you get a projector and take up a whole wall. You need some good speakers too. This sounds expensive so open a credit card, get your stuff then return it Monday morning.
Seating is just as important. Don’t get lazy here. Pre set chairs, couches, bean bags, etc with good eye lines. Don’t assume everyone will figure it out come kickoff. Don’t make the rows too tight, you need easy access to re-up on snacks, drinks or for a bathroom break.
You may have the urge to pick one thing and make a theme of it but in my experiences it’s the variety you want. So go ahead and get pizza. But also get wings, BBQ, grill burgers and dogs, make a big salad, get all the chips you can find, maybe something awesome to dip those chips in. Like chili or cheese or salsa or hummus or Nutella.
Don’t forget the dessert. This can just be store bought cookies, mini cupcakes, something. Bake some brownies the night before and cut them into tiny pieces. The smaller the portion, the less guilty people feel about eating them. Even if they have eight.
Remember, anyone not watching the game will be hovering around the food. So try and situate the grub so lots of hands can get access to it. Don’t put everything in your tiny kitchen. Or all on one counter. Get some folding tables and spread that stuff out. And don’t hide your trash can. It may not look the prettiest but you want to make it clear where refuse is supposed to go. Recycling too.
Lots of beer. Cold, American beer. Something cheap and easily consumed. Like Coors Light. No place for that fancy, microbrew shit. If you aren’t going to spring for the keg then do cans. You will have lots of empties and you don’t want to deal with all that glass. Also, other drinks should be made in plastic solo cups. No glass, no breaks, no blood. Leave a sharpie on the bar and everyone can personalize their cup.
As far as the bar goes, keep it simple. Get base liquors like Vodka, Whiskey, Rum. Gin if you’re British. And then a few mixers. Soda, Tonic, Coke, Sprite. Get more than you need cause you may have guests that don’t drink all together. One sober dude can kill a whole 2 liter. I’m not really a big fan of Red Bull but when you have it, people drink it and it makes you look legit. Your friends will be like “damn, he bought the 24 pack!”
Non-football related activities. A good SB party will have more than a few non-sports fans. And that’s okay. Hell, it’s needed. And you need to have stuff for them to do. I suggest beer games like Pong or something like Washers, Bags (AKA Cornhole), Darts. Make sure these games are far enough away that they don’t interfere with anyone’s viewing pleasure. Please be carful with those darts. It’s also fun to make a small pool and bet on the score of the game or other similar wagers.
A clean bathroom with a locking door. Well stocked with toilet paper. And either matches or air freshener. No one wants to poop at another person’s house. But sometimes it needs to happen. Don’t punish your guests for it. Maybe throw a fun magazine in there or a Calvin and Hobbes book.
Follow these rules and you will be hall of fame status with all your homies. If you are in the Los Angeles area on February 7th, 2016 then you can see these teachings in action at the first ever ScoreBoredSports Super Bowl Bash. Or SBS SBB for short. More details to follow but free food, open bar, games and jokes provided by me. Warning, jokes cannot be turned off. It will be a guaranteed blast. So please wear your team gear, bring a friend and see how the big kids do it. It’s Super Bowl 50. Get hype.