In this little corner Roger Pretzel will review his favorite play of the week along with a thoughtful review of what beverage he was imbibing at the time.
Week 7: Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie Pick-Six
Week 7’s divisional matchup was chock full of excellent highlights, mostly by the Giants, but there were certainly some memorable plays by the ‘Boys too. Unfortunately for Matt Cassel, the week’s highlight comes from a brilliant read and pick by DRC.
Cromartie gets three strong steps into the underthrown ball as Terrance Williams is forced to dive backwards, but once the cornerback gets the ball he’s just plain gone. Even with the showboating and high-high stepping Cromartie takes it back to the house lightning quick with a big ‘ole convoy of blockers to protect him. I’m definitely a bit sad that we’ve already run out of Cowboys/Giants matchups this season.
Week 7: Honorable Mention – Greg Hardy and Dez Bryant Are Gross. Odell Beckham Whines a Bunch.
There’s nothing like watching the league’s premier diva and one of its biggest scumbags jaw at each other like babies as “emotions run high.” We’ve seen Dez in this position before and I’m sure we’ll see him there again before long. As for Hardy, the Cowboys organization better thank their lucky stars that the special teams clipboard wasn’t a woman…
Speaking of divas, it looks like the Giants have got one in training with ODB. It became pretty apparent in the pre-season that his predilection for whining for flags on perfectly legal coverage was increasing. What is he trying to convey on this play, that it was a facemask? Just shut up and catch the ball, and if you miss it, return to the huddle or sidelines. Everyone’s always talking about how football is a “man’s game.” Is it really manly to complain directly to the officials? Odell, that’s what the postgame press conference and Twitter are for.
Week 7: Sum Poosie Energy Drink Mixed With Crystal Palace Vodka
Feel that bass, dogg. Feel your heart palpitate as you pump your fist in time to the music. You’re jacked up and amped up and kinda pissed off all at the same time. You’re gonna get laid tonight, dude. Dude, you better. Look at all your homies taking over the floor.
Look at all the fine tail in here, bro. Dogg, your shirt cost so much money and it looks so good on you. Throw back another “Poosie and Palace.” Don’t bother to tip the bartender. Just dance so all these fly ladies see you. Try and freak on this girl. Back up, she doesn’t seem into it. Dude, you might be having a heart attack. No, it’s cool.
Your shirt’s all sweaty now though. Party foul. Did that bitch just give you stink eye? Fuck that, bro. Better get cleaned up in the bathroom. Grab another P & P on the way to the john. Gulp half of it in one go. That wasn’t a good idea. You’re not having a heart attack; you’re having a wicked panic attack.
Hide in the stall. Gasp and sob until your homies find you there at 3:00 AM and drive you home. Wake up in the morning. Have the worst hangover of your entire life.
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