It’s been a rough first quarter-plus of the NFL season for some of us. Being a Lions fan usually means that our season is over by November, but very rarely do we have the chance to pack it in before we’ve even hit mid-October. Alas, that is where we sit at this point of 2015. I want to have hope but I’ve been so battered and bruised that I know there’s just no reasonable chance that there is any coming back from the 0-5 grave that this Detroit team has dug for themselves. So as we lay the 2015 Lions to rest beneath 6 ft of earth and a millions pounds of their own ineptitude, let’s take a walk through the NFL Graveyard and visit the final resting place for some teams whose seasons are dead and buried already.
This one just hurts so bad. Coming off a playoff appearance (and damn near a win), I was sure that the Lions would be serious contenders. But it just hasn’t happened. The defense has kept the team competitive to a point, but once again the offense is absolutely terrible. The rebuilt offense line has had some serious growing pains but more shockingly the offensive play calling has been some of the worst I’ve seen in a long time. I mean really, really bad. And it’s made Matthew Stafford look like one of the worst quarterbacks in all of football. It’s just pitiful. They sit at 0-5 and are the NFL’s lone winless team. This latest loss to Arizona proves that they are dead and buried. Time to fire everyone and start planning for next season.
San Francisco 49ers
After what was the most tumultuous offseason in recent memory, I don’t think there were many people who didn’t see the 49ers sitting in the graveyard by this point of the season. They lost their head coach and what felt like a million of their star players, especially on the defensive side of the ball. With that said, they jumped out of the gates this season on Monday Night Football and dominated the Vikings at home. Since then they have gotten slapped around by everyone but the Giants. They rank at the bottom the league in offense and very near the bottom on defense. Colin Kaepernick has looked like garbage and has been sacked the 4th most of any QB in the league. It’s no surprise but this team sucks and is in the midst of it’s last gasps for air in the 2015 season. Call the morgue, they’re flat lining.
While the Lions need to start firing everyone, the Dolphins have already fired head coach, Joe Philbin. After spending big money to bring Ndamukong Suh to town and to ensure that Ryan Tannehill sticks around, many people thought this was the year that the Dolphins put it all together and challenged to win the AFC East. Instead the team has vastly underperformed on both sides of the ball. The defense, that was supposedly stacked with the likes of Suh, Cameron Wake and Brent Grimes, has allowed themselves to get beat by teams like the Jets and Jaguars and ranks 20th in the league in terms of points against. Meanwhile, the offense hasn’t put up more than 20 points and averages 16.2 points per game, ranking at 31st in the league behind only the lowly 49ers. The whole thing is a mess and serves to prove that you don’t win through free agency but through the draft. I thought it was a long shot for them to contend in their division but I didn’t think they would be this bad. But they are. Bury them. they’re dead.
New Orleans Saints
Most people felt like this would be a rough year for the Saints. Their salary cap situation is very ugly and it seriously hampered their offseason efforts. As a result they have one of the worst defenses in the league, allowing 28.6 points per game. The loss of Jimmy Graham has been felt as well and the offense ranks 20th in the league. There’s already talk of coach Sean Payton leaving town after this season and word is he has issues with Saints ownership. If they continue to lose this season, which they will, this team could start to give up very soon, and it’s going to get real ugly. I know they beat the Falcons on Thursday, but I see that more as a result of the Super Dome being a hard place to play and going undefeated being an even harder thing to do. It’s best we dig this team a hole right now and kick them into it. Their issues go very high up the totem pole and there’s just no coming back. RIP 2015 Saints.