LeBron James and Nike Get Married

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Published on : December 9, 2015





If you haven’t heard yet, congratulations are in order for LeBron James and his new life-partner, Nike. The two got married earlier this week in a private ceremony near his home in Cleveland, with a few of their closest friends and family. Press photographers weren’t permitted access but reports are that it was a beautiful ceremony.


                                                                          The Blushing Bride


After a 12 year relationship, Nike finally decided to make an honest woman out of LeBron. The dower that Nike provided is rumored to be significantly more than the original reports of $500 million. It seems like a paltry price to have the (arguably) best basketball player on the planet on your team for the longest of hauls, the rest of his life. LeBron James and Nike are simply meant for each other and I, for one, am glad that they decided to take it to the next level. It’s a match made in basketball heaven.


In the 44 years history of Nike, it is the first lifetime commitment they have made to an athlete. Michael Jordan is assumed to be a de-facto partner for life, but even he can’t get Nike to commit publicly or make it ‘Facebook Official’, and they’ve been together since 1985. So this is a big step for Nike, and it really seems like they are growing up and putting aside all those ‘fast’ athletes. For once they are buying the cow even though they’ve had the milk for free.


                                                     If you have enough money you can vacation in space!


So now that these two lovebirds have tied the knot, I guess the next question is where do they go on their honeymoon? They have more money than they know what to do with, so that’s not really an issue. The sky is the limit. And even that might not be the case. I bet if they pooled their funds, they could take their honeymoon on Mars or even Titan. I hear the Lakes are lovely and the views of Saturn are beautiful this time of year. If they aren’t up for that long of a trip, I guess they could go somewhere lame like Bali or the Seychelles, but I think they’re better than that. They are probably already building a heavily branded space ship for their deep space love voyage as we speak. Once the season is over they’ll blast off to the heavens and hopefully get to work on making some adorable little Nike/LeBron babies, or at least some new version of the LeBron shoes.


Either way, I wish them the best in their new life together and hope they have many years of happiness. I would have sent a gift but I never found out where they registered. I bet it was somewhere really fancy like Williams-Sonoma… Guess I’ll just have to make sure I get them something when they renew their vows in decade or two. Until then, congratulations to America’s favorite new husband and wife, Nike and LeBron James.



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