Which Athletes Would Make the Best Thanksgiving Dinner

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Published on : November 26, 2015

 

Today is Thanksgiving, which means 3 things; football, food and finding a way to avoid getting stuck hearing your crazy Aunt Beatrice talk about her cats. Just kidding Aunt B, I love hearing about Mr Fluffles, and yes I would love to see more pictures of him. Anyways, I thought that before I fall into a turkey-induced coma, that it might be fun to talk about which athletes, past and present, would comprise the best Thanksgiving dinner.

 

Turkey – Larry Bird

He may be the turkey on our plate but he was no turkey on the court.

 

This seems like a no-brainer. He is one of the greatest basketball players in the history of the game and his name is Bird for Christ’s sake. As one of the best shooters, defenders and fiercest competitors to play the game, you can’t go wrong with making him the centerpiece of your Turkey Day feast.

 

Mashed Potatoes – Jamal Mashburn

Get some of this Mash.

 

A prolific scorer whose 12 year career was sadly marred by chronic knee problems, Jamal Mashburn averaged 19.1 ppg while playing for the Mavericks, Heat and Hornets. He could drain the rock and I can’t figure out if his name has something to do with potatoes or some sort of by-product from a backwoods whiskey still. Either way, he’s our mashed potatoes.

 

Stuffing – “Mean” Joe Greene

You do not want to mess with this man.

 

Joe Greene was a beast in the middle of the defense for those legendary Steelers teams of the 70’s. Sure his name doesn’t sound like food, but he gets to be the stuffing on our plate this year because his work on the inside made sure that opposing running games were stuffed more often than not.

 

Cranberry – Eric Berry

Mr. Berry himself.

 

This dude is one of the best stories in the entire NFL. He had his 2014 season cut short after being diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, and it looked as though his career might be over. Apparently someone forgot to tell him that because he completed his treatment in remarkably fast time in order to be ready for the start of the 2015 season. He has played in every single game this year and is beginning to shine as the season progresses. His courage and dedications earn him a place on the plate as our cranBerry.

 

Gravy – Gary Payton

“I’m the gravy!”

 

Gary Payton is one of the best defenders at the point guard position of all time. He was nicknamed ‘the Glove’ for his ability to lock down the opposition. The Glove covers everything, just like the gravy on my Thanksgiving plate.

 

Dinner Rolls – Antrel Rolle

“I’m trying to make it to dinner!”

 

Every dinner needs some bread in there. He is our dinner Rolle. A Super Bowl Champion and three-time Pro Bowler at the safety position, he has 26 interceptions and 5 defensive touchdowns in his career.

 

 

So there you have it, the ultimate Thanksgiving dinner as represented by some of the best athletes ever. Now, I’m more of a go back for seconds and thirds, and skip dessert kind of guy, but if I have to pick something I’m going to finish my meal off with a little Walter “Sweetness” Payton with some Paul Coffey on the side. If you’ll excuse me there’s a turkey in dire need of some basting.

 

 

 

 

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