Six Things Tim Tebow Can Do If His MLB Career Doesn’t Work Out

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Published on : August 26, 2016

 

 

Watch out, baseball. Tim Tebow is coming for you. The former Denver Broncos quarterback has invited major league scouts to a public workout he will be holding on August 30th in effort to jumpstart a professional career. Tebow hasn’t played baseball regularly since he was a high school junior back in 2004. The good news: there’s no shame in failure. And there’s still plenty of career options out there for you.

 

Sandals Resort Bartender

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Looking to switch careers? Why not try the island life? Spending all day on the beach mixing drinks sounds perfect for a retiree like yourself. Just don’t expect anything cool to happen. It’s still an island.

 

Rock and Roll Church Preacher

NEW YORK, NY - JULY 19: Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran performs onstage at the Apollo Theater on July 19, 2016 in New York City.  (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

 

Your commitment to your faith is well-documented. And you’re already selling autographed baseballs for $125 on your website. Why not put those shill skills to work for the Lord?  #TebowsTravelingJesusShow

 

Join the Coast Guard

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Serve your country proudly by keeping our coastlines safe from whatever. You may be too old for active duty, but you’re still eligible for the Reserves. That’s only two days a month, plus an additional 12 days a year. Totally reasonable.

 

Stepdad

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You really want to be a man? Then you got to be there for Megan. Because she’s a good kid with a lot of potential. And that asshole Terry is never going to change. So step up!

 

American GladiatorAmerican-Gladiators

 

Too bad this isn’t still a thing. You would have fit right in with Malibu, Nitro and the rest of the gang. If you really want another sports job, don’t go pro-wrestling. That shit will wreck you.

 

Kidnapping Victim

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You’re a smart guy. Just cooperate and this will all be over soon.

 

Just kidding, Tim. Good luck Tuesday. We’ll be watching.

 

 

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