Entries by: Sandy Danto

Old School? Not Cool…

Written by :
Published on : March 4, 2016




The NBA is in its prime. The Magic, MJ, Bird, Bad Boys era was incredible. But right now, the NBA is just as good and the proof lives online.



In general, can we all wrap our heads around the notion that things are not better right now than they will be? I know it’s popular to prep for doomsday, but that’s just one possible scenario. Can we try to band together to project a positive outlook regarding the innovations and changes taking place throughout our lifetime and beyond? The Earth might be a literal garbage dump, but it’s not too late to turn it around. Instead of lamenting about the so-called “Good Ol’ Days” of the way things used to be during “simpler times,” let’s realize now that life evolves. So when this generation of millennials ages, we don’t sound bitter and shortsighted. Just like Oscar Robertson talking about Steph Curry:

“He’s shot well because of what’s going on in basketball today, In basketball today, it’s almost like if you can dunk or make a three-point shot, you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread.

There have been some great shooters in the past. But here again, when I played years ago, if you shot a shot outside and hit it, the next time I’m going to be up on top of you. I’m going to pressure you with three-quarters, half-court defense. But now they don’t do that. These coaches do not understand the game of basketball, as far as I’m concerned.”


Barring a dystopian future (which is plausible, especially if Trump 2016 happens…), life could and should get better. All aspects can progress positively: technology, convenience, our attitudes toward improving the environment, our treatment of one another, quality of entertainment to distract us in case none of the above comes to fruition. When platforms like Vine and Snapchat dropped, I was very Oscar Robertson about them. Didn’t get it. Didn’t care. Bitched about them. Felt old and simply dismissed them. A few years removed from their inception, I can admit I was wrong. Vine has made my favorite sport, basketball even more fun and accessible.


Oscar Robertson
                                                                              Oscar Robertson


However, the old guard of the NBA loves to bitch about the state of the game. Lots of NBA Hall of Famers complain about the lack of defense due to rule changes and the focus on the league’s public relations making the game and players “soft.” Charles Barkley and Shaq, two of the game’s most entertaining players, both on and off the court, are also culprits of being such old timers who whine about “how much better the game used to be…” The game done changed. Just get on (hover)board so you don’t seem so dated.


I’m not saying The Diesel and Round Mound Of Rebound need to become the equivalent of a middle-aged white dude named Noah in a backwards hat and board shorts, calling everyone “Bruh,” attending Coachella year after year as he suppresses stories of Woodstock ’94 so he seems relevant. Noah’s old school buddy Dean still wears a 2012 AC/DC tour shirt unironically regaling anyone who will stand close to him about the “hey-day of culture” peppering in critiques of everyone having their nose in their phone, how computers ruined music and how rappers only rap about money. That’s what Shaq and Charles sound like when they bitch about guards not getting nearly paralyzed when they drive the lane and the league lacking “True Centers.” Hopefully one day people will be able update the way they operate easier than downloading the latest version iOS.


                                                                               Shaq and Charles


Fuck ESPN, they’ve jumped the shark (a term that itself has jumped the shark). ESPN is totally corporate and thus becoming obsolete, but it’s not going anywhere for the time being. Vine, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Reddit and Podcasts give everyone instant highlights, genuine coverage and access to all our favorite players, coaches, teams, plays and behind-the-scenes discourse. Social media, more than rule changes, player safety protections and PR concerns have revolutionized sports overall.  With the NBA being the biggest benefactor. Go ahead, bemoan “everyone being on their phones all the time” instead of engaging in the moment, but maybe you’re the one who isn’t engaging in this moment. You can cry about how “defense just isn’t the same” so players like Steph Curry wouldn’t be able to light it up in the past the way he does now.


Shout it from the rooftops how no one talks to each other face to face anymore. No one will hear you because you don’t have a relevant outlet/wifi signal. Regardless of whether you’re right or wrong, you’re wrong because your time’s expired. Society changes. Sports evolve with it. Games are watched in their most important 6-12 second increments on people’s phones without having to hear Stuart Scott-knockoffs make bad puns and bastardize current slang. Isn’t it convenient that there just isn’t that much footage of what Oscar Robertson is talking about is supposedly missing from the present day game of basketball? Cool grainy highlight of the Big O literally running circles around a bunch of dudes who would get cut from teams in China if they played today.


Nevertheless, coverage of every aspect of life has changed, it’s not so easy to hide mistakes, for better or worse. The way the NBA is played and consumed now is not perfect. Nothing is. The implications on our own personal entertainment being a distraction from the miserable, violent, unjust (and hopefully temporary) present state of the world has its pros and cons: the speed and efficiency of how we consume Steph’s latest 35 foot swish or Kristap Porzingis’s putback slam happen so rapidly we don’t get a break from our timelines of watching to think or do anything about who and what are hurting the world. That’s a cause I wouldn’t mind hearing retired sports legends speak out about. Ya know, those who lived through protests that brought about change.




They’d rather criticize DeAndre Jordan’s free throw percentage. Bill Russell gets overlooked for his on court talent because he absolutely annihilated inferior competition, but his contribution to activism gets overlooked along with it. Bill Russell dwarfed his competition the way social media is dwarfing Sportscenter. However, he didn’t have as much of a platform to spread his message to fix inequality during an era when people were more proactive about causes that meant something to them. Yeah, LeBron and some other players wore that t-shirt because their publicists told them to stand with Freddie Gray.


Nobody really remembers or cares because the media cycle revolves too quickly. Today, you don’t like the way cops treat black people. You tweet something self righteously or post something indignant on Facebook and get to feel like you’re part of the solution. You want to try to make a difference today? Your message has to be constant, but ya know, don’t mess up your endorsement deal. There are always drawbacks, holes to be poked in the innovations by those who have lived to witness the change, but not ready to accept it. Sometimes those flaws are very real, but the criticism is hard to take seriously when it’s served upon every stand-out player.


Way back at the beginning of this decade, before Snapchat, LeBron moved from Cleveland to Miami so he could play for a team with his best friends and win. Not a single NBA alumni even remotely encouraged LeBron to do what made him happy. That’s indicative of the difference between the old versus new guard: the old guard doesn’t understand or appreciate millennial’s choice to do what makes us happy.


                                                                                 James and Wade


Say you have a buddy from college, the kind of guy who partied his ass off but still managed to get all A’s. Charismatic, friends with everyone, the kind of guy who could stay up for two days on a bender then go to brunch with your parents and charm their pants off before acing a test he barely studied for. This guy graduates, but moves back to his hometown to work for a notoriously fledgling local business that has potential to turn it around now that he’s there, but has organizational problems that no one man could turn around on his own no matter how focused, talented or committed.


Then one day, this guys gets an offer to be a partner at a hot new start up, run by his college drinking buddies who still party, but are more mature now. The salary is comparable, company HQ is in a cool city with great weather, social life and no income taxes. If you’re this guy, what would you choose? We know what his parents and their friends would think. The older generation loves to glorify their loyalty, the same loyalty that makes them miserable. Romanticize sacrifice, suffering and hard work in the same breath exhaled with carbon monoxide-like sentiments.



That’s why old timers can’t let go of the notion that their way was better. They’re haters. Generally, most people over 47 can’t and won’t wrap their minds around today’s conveniences and innovations in both technology and lifestyle choices. Why? They’re “stuck in their ways,” which is old people code for “refuse to accept the possibility of an easier path.” Too tired out from doing what they didn’t want to have to do most of their lives. Sacrificing joy and satisfaction for “security.” I get it, it’s hard to change once you’re used to a routine, but what if that routine suddenly got way easier and more enjoyable, but just took a litttttttle bit of effort to figure out?


With all this said, when we as a generation hit middle-age, let’s all agree to examine the way things with an open mind. Realizing most things get better, not worse. Or at least let’s pretend to get on board so we don’t age faster than we need to. Being someone like Noah with grey hair and saying shit like “stay woke” while Snapchatting might seem like it’s trying too hard.


                                                                                   Steph Curry


Albeit, that’s immensely less sad than not knowing how to text message on your LG Flip Phone as you lament how sports were better when athletes were slower and way more barbaric to each other, when it wasn’t even broadcast live over the medium of terrestrial radio. Maybe the sound bite goes viral, but the person saying it doesn’t even know what that means. “Going Viral,” whether you get it or not, is the most significant way to convey a message today. The How and Why of Going Viral is still puzzling. I’m rocking the White Van’s trying to get everything I do to Go Viral. Damn Daniel! Tomorrow will be different. Get on board or bundle up to suffer through the winter in Cleveland.


The NBA is better now than it’s ever been. I stand by it. NBA basketball might have been better 25-30 years ago, but it didn’t have a constant flow of memes and Vines. Who knows if Steph Curry would be as prolific against MJ, Isiah or John Stockton? I do know this: Spudd Webb would be global phenomenon if Instagram was around in the 80s.


                                                                                               Spudd Webb


Final Note: I’m doing my best to swallow my own pill and adapt to the future, but the old timer in me still gets ornery observing that anyone under 16 only knows Michael Jordan for crying and his shoes, they think Kobe is better then him, the OJ Simpson Murder Trial is a comedy series on FXX and everyone who retired from pro sports before 2000 is a whiny old fart. Instead of diminishing today’s stars, we all should just focus on ourselves.


Post Script: can Turner Broadcast turn TNT into an all sports network? ESPN is like a dumpster behind a Trading Card shop: there might be a treasure in there, but contains mostly flammable garbage. Fox Sports 1 is that dumpster on fire. How awesome would a Turner Sports channel be headlined by Charles, Shaq, Ernie and Kenny The Jet?


I’m just writing it here so when it happens I can claim to be ahead of my time.



ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks: Week 14

Written by :
Published on : December 10, 2015


Hi, I’m Sandy, but no, I’m not a female. However, I am the staff writer that follows the NFL the least avidly despite working at NFL Red Zone last season (HINT: there’s a reason they wouldn’t have me back this year….).


So, it’s Week 14 and I couldn’t be happier that it’s almost the postseason for a litany of reasons. What makes me the happiest about entering the third trimester of the 2015-16 NFL season’s pregnancy is that SportsCenter will soon reach that sweet spot of the year in February where they’re basically only showing NBA highlights, and in my world NBA reigns supreme. The next best reason to be happy the regular season is almost over: Super Bowl parties. I do kind of love football, but my favorite part of football is easily the eating that goes along with it. Plus, playoff games are way better in general, but also because my team, the Detroit Lions, won’t be able to break my heart and open my mind to the possibility of NFL conspiracy theories against The D. Their season will simply be over. Football in the snow is cool too.


Granted I’m the least knowledgable writer for SBS regarding football, I’ve done pretty well predicting winners this season. As for this week, I predict the NFL to beat the film Concussion on account of Will Smith trying out a weird accent. When Will Smith is kicking ass in action movies, we all win. The Lions might lose the rest of their games, or least the ones they should win, but the NFL will always be undefeated against concussions, but will the Panthers?

Here are the ScoreBoredSports NFL Staff Picks for Week 14:


Week 14


Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Week 8

Week 9

Week 10

Week 11

Week 12

Week 13



Takeaways From The 2015-16 NBA Season (From A Fan Who Hasn’t Yet Gotten A Friend’s League Pass Login Info)

Written by :
Published on : November 18, 2015


The 2015-16 NBA regular season is in full swing. It’s the second most important season in the world’s foremost basketball league. Less important than the post-season, but taken more seriously than the pre-season & Summer League (though players may try harder on offense playing in the Drew League than they do during the NBA regular season). Now let’s examine what we’ve seen so far and what we can expect to see as the season progresses.


First note, this year’s rookie class looks beastly. It was projected that the 2014 NBA draft class, headlined by Andrew Wiggins & The Weeknd’s muse, Elfrid Payton, would go down as legendary for its talent. At this point, last year’s class is more well known for being maligned by injury. The 2015 NBA draft class had some hype, but seems to feature future stars capable of surpassing the 2014 draft class’s lofty hype, just two weeks into their NBA tenures. Karl Anthony Towns is stacking up more double-doubles in Minnesota than a dab smoking “social media consultant” at In ‘N Out Burger. Kristaps Porzingis put back dunks are making Knicks fans who booed him on draft night look even stupider. You can tell D’angelo Russell will be great because Byron Scott won’t play him in the forth and when has he ever been right as a coach? Justise Winslow, Stanley Johnson, Jerian Grant, Emmanuel Mudiay, Jahlil Okafor, Mario Hezonja, Myles Turner and Kelly Oubre Jr. have all made notable contributions to the highlight reel and/or box score while showing that they’re going to be the stars of the future. We’re on the third week of the season so more rooks are bound to emerge from beyond the pine just like Ryan Gosling did in 2012.




Second note, 2015’s inaugural coach firing is already underway. Rockets just fired coach Kevin McHale and replaced him with James Harden’s beard. NBA owners have the same level of panic with their coaches as NBC executives have for their new fall line-up. This is to say they all have patience akin to six year old children with their parents’ iPhone throwing breadsticks on the ground at the table next to you as you try to enjoy your meal at Olive Garden. It seems like owners fire coaches just to give Stephen A. Smith more fodder to be annoying with Skip Bayless. Besides, it’s rare that a mid-season coaching change nets postseason results. One instance comes to mind: Byron Scott got fired from coaching the New Jersey Nets in 2004 and his successor Lawrence Frank went on a 13 game winning streak as soon as he took over. While Frank’s tenure in Jersey was technically successful, the Nets had previously gone to the Finals, but never managed to match that success. That’s best case scenario for an in-season coaching shake-up. Given the history, why are owners so trigger happy? Right now it’s a two man race to see who is fired next: George Karl in Sacramento or Dave Joegger in Memphis. Sacramento fired their coach about this time last season then hired… George Karl… Are the coaches really the issue here? Sacramento’s being run like the love life of a reality show star on VH1. In fact, NBA TV should just produce a The Bachelor-esque reality show for Sacramento to find a new coach every year.


Side note, my team – The Detroit Pistons finally look competent and competitive for the first time since the “BALL DON’T LIE” era. The stank of Darko Millicic has finally wafted away and while so many speculated that very smell would stink up Madison Square Garden, Porzingis proves history doesn’t always repeat itself. SVG for President!


Stan Van Gundy (SVG)


Crazy trade speculation time! It’s insane that owners will more readily uproot a coach before they consent to trading players who show signs of age/wear, bad fit, become distracting/ disinterested or for being Nick Young. Here are some players I expect to (or fantasize) see traded:


1. Derrick Rose

Signs of age/wear? Check! Bad fit? Check! Disinterested? Check! Nick Young? Well, no… But Derrick Rose is a point guard who looks for his shot more than to get his teammates involved. His presence seems to hinder the rise to power of Jimmy Butler, both on the court and in the locker room. On top of it all, his offseason contract comment – given his history with the Bulls franchise, on top of his sexual assault allegations are more disgusting than a frat house communal bathroom. While the Bulls most likely won’t trade him, only time will tell. Who would they or could they even get for him though? What organization would even want him? I think the Knicks & Kings would pull the trigger faster than a racist white cop. Both would be fun situations to see if Derrick Rose can make a Neil Patrick Harris-type comeback.


2. Joakim Noah



Since we’re talking Bulls, new coach Fred Hoiberg came in and sent Noah to the bench sparking the blunt of speculation that he may not fit in Hoiberg’s vision of the Bulls’ deep front court. Noah has been great when healthy, but mired by injuries. Beyond what he does on the court, he’s the kind of spirited dude who any team would benefit from, plus I bet he has a really great weed hook up. The Mavericks seem a perfect fit for Noah after being stood up by DeAndre Jordan. Portland has a gaping hole in their front court since LaMarcus Aldridge left to go grab a pack of smokes, never to be seen again.


3. Zach Randolph

If you’re an NBA purist, it’s nearly impossible to not love this former Michigan State Spartan’s game and maturity since his early days as a Portland Jailblazer. However, his grit and grind style is becoming obsolete in today’s NBA. Houston could make a flashy deal for Z-Bo if they decide they don’t want to have to pay Terrence Jones or Donatas Montiejūnas. The Pacers perhaps? Maybe If they decide PG-13 at the 4 and running the floor is no longer their thing. Brooklyn might do it just to salary dump any number of their players.


4. The Entire Nets Roster

Time for Joe to go?


This is the least crazy speculation and most imminent change coming. The Nets are so bad that their new logo should be a rusted basketball rim dangling from the backboard with no hoop for a ball to swish through. Expect Joe Johnson to be shipped out faster than something you bought after signing up for Amazon Prime. Brook Lopez is one stubbed toe away from a home in a new city, whether it be his own or a nursing home. This team need draft picks like Draft Kings and Fan Duel need to pay off the government so they don’t become an off-shore betting enterprise on the deep web.


5. Markieff Morris

This seems inevitable because the Suns are in low-key disarray, but Vanessa Bryant took Kobe back after his rape trial, so you never know. Kobe never shipped Vanessa’s brother to Detroit though. Can the Suns trade this dude and get his high value in talent back? Probably not. Kieff’s ceiling could be the second or third best player on a contender, there aren’t very many teams willing to give that up. I could see a scenario where the Suns get fed up with him and ship him off to Philadelphia. I fantasize Phoenix will trade him to join his brother Marcus in Detroit for Ersan Ilyasova and the potential of Reggie Bullock. There’s a better chance of Clyde Drexler coming out of retirement than the Pistons making a mid-season trade for a franchise changing Power Forward, again.



The 2016 NBA season looks super fun in its infancy. There are 45 contenders in the West and the East has some sneaky good teams. Whether there’s tons of off-court and trade drama or the season goes along as competitively as it has begun, all NBA fans across the world project to be winners here (as long as I can get a friend’s League Pass user name and password).



The Best Foods To Eat While Watching Sports (and how to make them even better)

Written by :
Published on : October 12, 2015



Have you been to a stadium lately? They’ve really stepped their game up… foodwise. Not only with the quality of the food, but variety. You can get Shake Shack at Mets games! But you’re not watching most games at the arena (unless you have season tickets, you prick). Suppose you’re like me and can’t find a balance of finding a business establishment combining optimal viewing situations with audio AND above average food. I have this problem where the places I like to eat while I watch games has a bad TV setup or they play bad music over the games or there’s uncomfortable seating. The alternative is going to a shit sports bar where fans are too unruly or the food sucks or both. My situation is this: don’t want to sacrifice quality of traditional “Game Day Cuisine” while sitting comfortably as I use a powerful wifi connection to check stats & be able to use a clean bathroom. I doubt I’m alone. Therefore, here’s my vision for best possible foods to eat while enjoying sports.


1. Hot dogs



Fuck peanuts & cracker jacks. Don’t literally have sex with peanuts & cracker jacks, they can even be mildly enjoyable in the right context, but this isn’t the 1950s. You go to a ballgame, chances are that you’ll eat a hot dog. Hot dogs at ballparks are usually dirty water dogs. Since hot dogs come already cooked, they just need to be heated so at ballparks the cheapest/fastest way to do that is to have the hot dogs hang out in a hot tub until you order them, then they are tonged out of the tub juice. Fucking. Gross. Frankly, you’d have to be some kind of monster to prefer this over a grilled, crunchy charred outside/juicy hot inside frank. So many garnishments & condiments to add like carmelized onions, sauerkraut, potato chips, sriracha, srirancha (sriracha & ranch dressing) or just get your self a nice mustard & artisan buns (eat hot dog with pinky flailing). Extra points for fancy sauces with even fancier sausages; be the best for eating the würst.


2. Nachos



Nachos are great already, depending on who’s making them & how they’re made. I’m not including those corn chips with plastic yellow sauce you’d get at a stadium. I’m talking about melted cheese shreds, sliced jalapeños, salsa, guacamole (that doesn’t cost extra to add), sour cream & some (hopefully slow cooked) meat. The problem with this orgy of the hot models equivalent of foods is it makes the chips soggy (much like an actual orgy…). Also, not everyone loves heartburn.

Solution: cast a wide oven pan or cookie sheet, layering chips with cheese. Add vegetables toward end of melting cheese. Sauces/dips on the side.

Alternative: American Nachos aka Machos.
Potato chips (ruffles for texture. Kettle chips for good measure)
Ground beef or pulled pork
Bacon bits (homemade, if you’re not lazy)
Velveeta AND shredded cheddar
Chopped onions
Chopped dill pickles
Chopped tomatoes
Ranch or Srirancha


Just imagine if nachos got your favorite cheeseburger & fries pregnant. This is the baby it’d have, baby! Take nachos back for America!


Honorable mention: Poutine


3. Wings

Wing or go home


If you don’t love wings, move to fucking Antarctica. Wings are great, but you have to eat so many to be satisfied, not to mention makes Tinder a lot messier than it is already.

Alternative: Buffalo/BBQ Turkey Legs.
Turkey legs are delicious, longer lasting & the food version of Beast Mode. Which ever presidential candidate jumps on board with replacing chicken wings with Turkey legs will have my vote. Toss those legs in any sauce and it’s like your chicken wings took HGH without all the side effects.


4. Pizza

Always good


This one maybe can’t be improved upon, but much like any sports team, pizza is all about the quality ingredients that go into it. Innovation and creativity definitely play an important role. Chicken wings have been fused with pizza in different incarnations & it’s the Stockton and Malone of foods.

That being said, as enjoyable as they were to watch, they don’t have rings. (Mmmmmmm, pizza with onion rings on it….) Just like pizza, maybe the Stockton/Malone tandem could’ve used a little more help around them. For example, maybe if those Jazz teams had flavored crust, fresh burrata, heirloom tomato sauce or a melty real cheese or yogurt based dipping sauce they could’ve beaten Jordan? Jordan was the pizza you get at a fancy Italian restaurant with all those high end ingredients. Lebron is Detroit square deep dish from Buddy’s. Shaq’s that decadent Chicago deep dish. Mailman was delivery. JR Smith is DiGiorno.


What foods we don’t need to see near our sporting events

-Fruit bowls: come on, we are watching sports, not training to play. Take your mandolin & cut that shit out. You want grapes, drink wine from a box like the poor man that you are!

-Anything using chopsticks
Unless you’re watching sumo wrestling in Japan, this is unacceptable. It should be a rule of thumb that no food is allowed to be eaten during sport events that require any utensil that could be used as a weapon.

-Salad: See above. This includes anything chopped up & mixed with mayonnaise or leafy greens.


The goal should be to eat food with your hands that make your fingers too filthy, too slimy, too sticky to refresh your fantasy app every 30 seconds & enjoy the game the way the cavemen did.



15 NBA Headlines To Keep Fans Engaged In August

Written by :
Published on : August 25, 2015


The NBA wants to be a year-round league but once free agency is over in late July, interest in basketball hits a lull. The NBA depends on hype and these (fictional) story lines to keep fans engaged.

Lebron Demands Bigger Contract So He Can Afford CGI On His Hairline For Every National Broadcast

Lebron has already worked a little magic on his hair. Time to go all the way.
Lebron has already worked a little magic on his hair. Time to go all the way.


Brian Scalabrine To Be Contestant On The Bachelorette


Rihanna To Hold Training Camp For Remaining NBA Free Agents


Dennis Rodman Inks Deal To Star In Reality Show Based On Juwanna Man

Juwanna (rod)Man
Juwanna (rod)Man


Mark Cuban Apologizes For “Indian Giver” Comment


Nick Young Buys Paintball Gun So He Can Shoot More


Donald Sterling Enters Police Academy

He certainly looks the part. How many donuts do you think he had at this game?
He certainly looks the part. How many donuts do you think he had at this game?


Rockets Explore Cloning James Harden


Harlem Globetrotters Hoarding Cap Space In Hopes To Sign Kevin Durant in ’16

Join the squad Kevin!
Join the squad Kevin!


Kawhi Leonard Predicted To Lead League In Retweets


Skip Bayless Suspended After He Calls Magic Johnson “The AIDS Monkey”

It's only a matter of time before Skip says something so ignorant that he can't come back.
It’s only a matter of time before Skip says something so ignorant that he can’t come back.


Greg Oden Signs In China Due To Promise Of Bionic Legs


Chris Paul Cited In Hit-And-Run, Ironically Isn’t Insured

C'mon Chris! We know your twin Cliff can hook you up on some insurance.
C’mon Chris! We know Cliff can hook you up on some insurance.


JR Smith To Launch His Own Music Festival


Charles Barkley Mistakes Stan Van Gundy For Fat Jew

Don't worry Sir Charles, it could happen to anyone.
Don’t worry Sir Charles, it could happen to anyone.


Most Annoying Fan Bases in Sports

Written by :
Published on : August 5, 2015



I’ve been all over. So this is the truth. Here is a list of the most annoying fan bases in sports:


Bay Area Fans

Don’t you just hate them?


Whether you’re a “die hard” Warriors or Giants fan or a fair whether flipper between the Raiders & 49ers, just shut up about all of it. Being a die hard fan of anything by inductive reasoning makes you extremely annoying. The Bay Area is a particularly spoiled sports region that most people don’t think of as a hardcore sports region. The term “sore winners” comes to mind. Don’t forget to recycle those empty fair trade, organic beer cans after you shotgun them while tailgating.



A fan holds up a ‘Free Tom Brady’ sign at a Red Sox game.


Another spoiled sports region. All 4 major sports franchises from here have won championships in recent years. The fan base most likely to physically fight you over a minor disagreement. Shout out to Philly fans on violence too.
A city of “die hard fans” meaning they have so little going on in their life that they pour their whole personality into devotions to a team of millionaires. Millionaires competitors who care less about winning than their loyal fans who talk like they all had strokes.



Put your shirts back on!


Shockingly worse accents than people from Boston. The perfect storm of spoiled (Blackhawks, 90s Bulls, Black Sox from not long ago, 80s Bears) and tortured (Cubs, Derrick Rose, current Bears) to combine for an infuriating brand of in-your-face pride & loser’s lamenting. Go eat comfort food from anywhere within 5 feet of you & shut your yapper!


New York

Less than a year ago they wanted A-Rods head on a spike in the Bronx. Now it’s all Happy Birthdays and rainbows.


Ok, you do have the right to be genuine Yankee fans unlike 85% of Yankee hat wearers. Hearing New Yorkers belly aching about sports is like hearing your rich friend complain about their BMW.  You live in an overwhelming metropolis – find something better to complain about than Carmelo, Gino Smith/Eli Manning & ARod. I’m walking here!


Los Angeles

Lakers fans.


Similar to NYC fans, but worse because of general vanity & lack of self awareness; not to mention the entitled mentality all fans of big market teams are stricken with. Lakers fans are the hardest to stomach, directly followed by Trojan Fans or Dodger fans* who will beat the living shit out of you then fair-weather Kings fans. What a cross section of fair-weather & spoiled.

*non-violent Dodger fans are legit though



I hope these drunks aren’t driving after the game.


Ohio State fans, the ones who are so enthusiastic/spirited/aggressive/loud – it makes you love U of M even if you have no rooting interest whatsoever. Cleveland fans who burned their Lebron James jerseys & welcomed him back with open arms. Bengals fans when they’re a fringe playoff team. They are the best of the worst, only because they’re consummate losers/silver medalists, but Ohio State fans are the worst braggarts about their success. These fans are those kids who get trophies despite losing.



Fair weather as fuck in a city with pretty fair weather. And I’ll never get behind a team that does this:



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