Fireworks go Boom

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Published on : July 9, 2015

In the immortal words of Katy Perry:

Just own the night like the 4th of July, ‘Cause, baby, you’re a firework, Come on, show ’em what you’re worth”

Two NFL players took these lyrics to heart over Independence Day weekend. New York Giants’ Defensive End Justin Pierre-Paul and Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ Corner Back CJ Wilson both lost fingers as a result of firework-related accidents. You heard right. Injuries due to explosions from firecrackers. That is insane. What Looney Tunes world are we living in?

In the case of Wilson, he lost two fingers on one hand. That might be enough to end his two-year career. Where he mostly served as a backup. Wilson hoped to make the starting roster this summer but those chances just went up in smoke.

Pierre-Paul initially only suffered nerve and tissue damage to his hand but later decided to amputate his right index finger in the name of speeding up his recovery. Which is important because JPP has not signed his contract and the Giants have pulled their long term offer. So on top of losing millions, he may be looking for a new team if things don’t work out.

These bizarre events underline an ongoing issue with pro athletes where stupid recreational activities nearly cost them everything. Some may remember in 2006 when Pittsburgh Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger, with no helmet, got into a nasty motorcycle accident. Or in 1985 when Houston Astros Pitcher Nolan Ryan got his hand bit trying to pet a coyote. There are countless other examples of this reckless behavior. When are these Millionaires gonna learn?

Here is a list of things you should NOT do if you play pro sports:

  • play with fireworks or explosives of any kind

  • sword fight

  • race cars/motorcycles/jet skis/camels/anything

  • run with scissors

  • re-shingle your roof
  • goof around with handguns

  • walk on hot coals
  • wrestle a gator

  • fight Batman

  • Skydive or bungee jump

  • swim after eating

  • go anywhere with Pac-Man Jones

This may seem like a lot of restrictions but no fan wants their favorite player to blow up. So stay safe. And if all else fails, make someone in the entourage light the fuse.

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