I’ve been into sports my whole life. I’ve also had some sort of facial hair since I could grow it at 13. So this seems like a natural topic for me to cover. Get your old-timey mustache wax and your beard oil and let’s comb through the best the whiskers in pro sports.
Mustaches are a must
Many of the great coaches, players and fathers of the 70’s and 80’s rocked some excellent ‘staches. It was the fashion of the day. Think Tom Selleck in Magnum P.I. or Burt Reynolds in every movie ever.
Picture perfect. This classic dad look owned the sidelines of Chicago. You can draw cartoon Ditka by simply doing the mustache and sweater. Like a modern day Groucho Marx.
This guy means business. If this isn’t the soul of old time hockey then I don’t know what is. I bet he had to wash people’s blood off his mustache. That’s so metal.
Thin, wispy and blonde. This is part creepy uncle and part teenage boy. What an awesome mashup. Bird didn’t always rock the lip hair but I will always remember him with it.
Maybe the nickname “Mean” came from how fierce his grooming was. Razor sharp style paired with that afro makes for a legendary look we are all in awe of.
The vintage porno mustache. Every young man tries to make this work at least once in their life. Gibson makes it look effortless. Plus those throwback Tigers unis are dope.
The subtle stubble is all the rage for movie stars but a really solid goatee makes a bold statement. Baseball has really kept this movement alive. And for that, I’m grateful. The goatee is not for everyone but these fellas totally pull it off.
I can’t even imagine his face without that goatee. He’d just be some round-cheeked goon. With the goatee, he is a home-run-hitting god.
The doctor is in. Look at this silky smooth prince. The facial hair complements his head hair and ties it all together. Man, I wish I could grow a fro.
Is that the guitar player from Pantera? Nope, but that dangler says “I like to party” and crush the baseballs. Just stare at it. It’s like two stalactites hanging from his chin. Wicked.
The Canadian wizard of hockey. Nice suit, very Don Cherry inspired. I always prefer Barry with something on his face to backup that epic mullet. One of the goatee G.O.A.T.
Beasts of the Beard
I love how hockey players grow out their beards for the playoffs. It’s one of my favorite traditions because it guarantees that the Stanley Cup Finals will be two squads full of fuzz and fur. It’s a super look and fits hockey like a glove.
Almost full ZZ Top status. Levy is just as wild as his whiskers. On and off the field. Only makes sense that he sports the full “Sea Captain.” Ahoy!
B-ball’s best beard. The NBA isn’t exactly known for its facial follicles but James uses his like a mohawk. A visual statement of rebellion. An easy choice for this list but totally deserving.
Does he even have a mouth? I don’t know a comb on earth that can navigate that forest. Kind of reminds me of the Game of Thrones character, Tormund Giantsbane. P.S. That’s a compliment.
The crazy old man beard. Complete with the two-tone highlight. Bravo. This growth just screams “get off my lawn.” No joke, he wears it well, even if he does play for the Sharks.
The kooky prospector look. “There’s gold in these mountains!” Very nice. Napoli switched teams and shaved. All of which seems like a bad move. I assume losing your beard causes organ failure. #growitback
Well that’s the short and curly of it. Hope this hairy experience encourages some of you to grow your own show-stopper. And as always, it’s not just about the size of the facial hair but the style and vibe. Be bold, do mutton chops or a civil war joint. But always be you.
Five o’clock shadow.
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